New Bones - a Genshin Impact Comic Dub

Massive thank you to @kagura8999 on Instagram and Twitter for letting me dub this comic!

I encourage you to stay after the end of kagura8999's comic for some commentary and...a particularly disturbing clip. >:)

But if you need a TL;DW, Sucrose and Tartaglia are my #2 and #3 favorite characters because of how similar they are to me. Nobushi students are unenthusiastic Japanese students in my English lessons...and the reason I kill large numbers of Nobushi and Kairagi in Genshin Impact.

This is only the second video I have ever seriously edited since my first YouTube video where I explained the key rules of my Minecraft series with too many rules. As such, I admit there's still a lot I don't know about editing.

Anyway, lately, I've been getting more and more Nobushi students than usual since earlier this month. In fact, on top of one of these persistent Nobushi (which I call a "simp") becoming extra persistent, TWO former simps have found me and are actively hunting me down once again. As such, I wanted to unleash my anger in more ways than just pounding my wall and mass-murdering Nobushi in-game.

(Yes, I have a punching bag, but since my office is on the upper deck of our bed and some students book me at the last minute, raging at it means I have to waste my time washing my feet again.)

So I reached out to kagura8999, arguably the most popular Alberose fan artist, and asked for permission to dub this comic. (I'm guessing this artist is female given the Instagram stories she's sharing.) She was quick to say a simple yes with no strings attached.

I actively shared the progress of my comic dub with her, all the while giving her cryptic messages related to Nobushi. I told her that there's a part that she won't like that has something to do with getting down to business...and after a second hint where I said "it's their lucky day", she didn't try to guess again. I didn't call myself a lunatic for nothing.

Voice Acting

I have...quite a high-pitched male voice so I think I made Tartaglia sound a bit younger than he actually is...which is probably fitting given his other well-known codename "Childe".

I originally asked one female friend (kind of) to voice Sucrose, but since she was swamped with real-life responsibilities (as usual), I chose to voice Sucrose myself since, #1, my non-Nobushi Japanese students loved it when I did high-pitched female voices like Anya Forger, Hu Tao, and Pikachu; #2, I was too shy to ask the other girls I know and I didn't want to waste their time.

And...I know I'm a braggart but despite my name being in the intro credits, YoSquid didn't know I voiced Sucrose. I think he was convinced that a real girl voiced Sucrose.

I do different kinds of evil laughs in everyday life but doing a Tartaglia-inspired one was a challenge since I've never done it before. I wanted it to sound youthful; not too much like a traditional supervillain. I was inspired by itsthepinoyboy's voice; he voiced Tartaglia in a lot of Sylle's older comic dubs before Souleaterwill took over.

And yes, I laugh like a maniac when I kill Nobushi in-game.

Additional Context on the Characters I Used

For the purpose of saving time, I limited my post-dub commentary to why I like Sucrose and Tartaglia and utterly despise Nobushi.

But believe it or not, there are reasons other than the meta that I used Bennett and Xingqiu in that team. I'm writing it down here mainly for my more dedicated fans. <3

Bennett and Xingqiu are my #5 and #1 favorite characters respectively.

Bennett because, #1, I love adventuring and his friendly personality; #2, he's an extremely powerful support and solid main DPS in many different teams; #3, I like his cargo shorts; it balances utility with youthfulness, both of which are important to me.

Xingqiu because, similar to how video games got me into martial arts, Xingqiu got into martial arts because of novels. We also share a superhero mentality (at least when I'm not raging). His hairstyle also looks kinda similar to mine.

In case you're wondering who's the missing #4 favorite character, it's Sangonomiya Kokomi, the leader and tactician of Watatsumi Island. I love the blue, pink, and white on her long hair and outfit, she balances the freedom of her citizens with a well-balanced justice system, and, just like me back in my Minecraft days, she gives directives to her soldiers to prepare them for almost any situation.

Heck, unlike most tutors, I give tips for them to teach a specific student better based on their likes/dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. Just like Kokomi, I live by the principle of knowing thy enemy.

Unfortunately, Keqing, my 2nd least favorite character and whose personality is similar to that of my high school crush, killed my pity on both Kokomi banners...

Anyway, do you know why I used some of my favorite characters?

Because it feels more personal when I beat up Nobushi with characters similar to me. I'm not allowed to be rude to any student (otherwise, I might get in big legal trouble) so this is the closest I can be to unleashing my rage.

I can look and sound as badass as a typical shonen protagonist thanks to my Tartaglia-like personality and skills but perhaps, to Nobushi, I sound like a boastful and noisy but genuinely scary person that could kill them with his charisma as if I used the vicious mockery spell.

Sangonomiya Kokomi can strategize and is genuinely caring. You can ask a Nobushi a bajillion fun questions about what they like or present a bunch of nerdy opinions and they wouldn't budge an inch.

Bennett is fired up. Nobushi sound like they're always tired unless you ask them if they are "daijoubu".

The Golden Apple Archipelago: My Favorite Genshin Impact Area

Note that this is based on the 1.6 version of the Golden Apple Archipelago and will contain major spoilers. I think the 2.8 version will be different; it'll be less Mondstadt-like and more of a mix of the themes of the characters visiting there, including some maple trees for Kaedehara Kazuha rather than the vacation-friendly atmosphere for Barbara, Jean, and Klee.

Edit: Yes, it eventually becomes different.

No, I'm not just saying this because "I support the current thing". In fact, I generally dislike supporting things without knowing what I'm supporting. Heck, I bet the current thing regarding Genshin Impact location hype is Sumeru.

In short, the Golden Apple Archipelago unintentionally but intimately connects my past and present together. It contains both what I enjoyed starting from childhood and what I recently began to enjoy as a teen and young adult.

Some Vacation Background

I played the Pokémon games for the first time in 2003 when I was 4 years old. Wild Pokémon are encountered in tall grass, caves, and water, leading to me liking running around in grass, exploring caves, and swimming or sailing across water in real life. Similarly, Pokémon can be taught HM02 Fly, adding a little excitement to my otherwise scared self because of the possibility of the aircraft crashing on our way to the beach.

Speaking of the beach, my family and I went to Boracay Island for my first-ever vacation outside of Metro Manila when I was 6 years old. Boracay is the most famous beach island in the Philippines, hence its beachfronts being full of businesses like hotels and restaurants. I loved the bustling atmosphere of it all which enhanced my swimming experience as I pretended to encounter wild Pokémon.

We've gone on many Boracay trips since then, including another childhood trip I can't remember, a trip on my first year of college (2016), a trip with my niece (2019), and a trip in March 2020 right before the world locked down due to COVID-19.

Of course, beaches aren't the only places my family and I visited. We also explored a few mountains, most notably our Sagada trip (2015) where I explored a cave for the first time. Rather than leisurely swimming around the cave pools, though, I was focused on getting through what I later found out was a hard-difficulty cave...and I'm still alive as you can see.

The Islands

General Info

The Golden Apple Archipelago is a group of islands distant from Teyvat and is blanketed by a thick fog. Sailors from Liyue and Inazuma were here and had to contend with the fog prior to the arrival of Barbara, Jean, Klee, and the Traveler on the back of the dragon Dvalin.

Initially, the Golden Apple Archipelago was just a bunch of tiny islands but the group then drains the water, drastically lowering the sea level and revealing more islands as well as the fact they were actually on top of an incredibly tall mountain.

Aside from mountains and beaches, there are a few small caves, some with murals from the old sailors.

Individual Islands

Minacious Isle is actually a big chunk of Mondstadt which, according to Albedo, may have been blown onto the Golden Apple Archipelago by Barbatos. As such, it is unique for having Dandelion Seeds, some upside-down ruins, and a Seelie that gets sent home through a portal to Mondstadt.
I loved this mish-mash of locations, especially combined with the fact that the rest of the Golden Apple Archipelago has Starconches (Liyue) and Sea Ganoderma (Inazuma). I wouldn't be surprised if a Sumeru local specialty started appearing there...

The western island south of the Broken Isle is surrounded by a huge water bubble barrier. On the last part of their adventure, the group dispels the barrier, revealing a Klee-themed resort full of beach chairs and a tent containing a recorded message from the "Dodo-King" who is actually Klee's mother, Alice.
Of course, when Klee learned the truth, she was so happy to hear it. It reminds me of how much my niece REALLY loves swimming.

This screenshot was taken with my brother's account. I didn't have Kaedehara Kazuha at the time.

The central island is where players first fought the Maguu Kenki, a machine swordmaster that protected the Inazuman sailors from hilichurls but malfunctioned.
I was actually surprised they threw in this new boss considering we hadn't been to Inazuma yet. It feels like a very early teaser.
Interestingly, I did not take much of an interest in samurai, even as an English teacher for Japanese students, until Inazuma came out.
When my niece and I recreated

Midsummer Island Adventure in our July 2021 pool vacation and we were doing the third part featuring the Maguu Kenki, I did not know much about Japanese swordfighting at the time, and even if I did and only pretended to hold an imaginary katana, I might hurt my niece with my fists. Instead, I as the Maguu Kenki acted like a tribesman spouting gibberish and saying "I'm the Ugly Maguu Kenki!" in a cartoony voice. However, she participated the least in this; she participated more in using the Waverider to bomb me playing the role of hilichurls, racing across the pool, and the best part for her: making bombs, including a brand-new flying bomb that doesn't appear anywhere in the game.

Waverider

Speaking of the Waverider, this small boat was introduced along with the Golden Apple Archipelago. It comes equipped with cannons that deal Physical DMG. The Waverider is used in several challenges, including time trial courses and bombing floating hilichurl camps.

During some vacations, I rode various ships from sailboats to medium-sized motorboats to full-sized ships that can hold the weight of cars and trucks. All of them had a feel similar to using HM03 Surf, but I'd say the sailboat felt closest to that. On the other hand, the large ships made me feel like battling other Pokémon Trainers aboard...though, of course, I didn't do that because I didn't want to bother others and my orders were to stay close to my parents.

As for Genshin Impact, aside from the very impractical use of Sangonomiya Kokomi to walk on water, using the Waverider against hilichurls was the closest I could get to battling wild Pokémon on water.
Unlike most Daily Commissions, this truly felt like raiding hilichurl bases because I could destroy the barriers and smaller towers, drowning some hilichurls in the process.

I wonder what it would be like to accurately recreate these Waverider battles on a real beach...
We could have attackers on jet skis and defenders manning towers, some of which can be destroyed by sufficiently strong ball throws. Both sides would attack each other with Nerf blasters—I experimented by submerging AccuStrike Darts and Elite Darts and they still float so it's unlikely for the players to lose darts.
As for the safety plan, all players will be equipped with life vests because we'll be far from the shore. There will also be a larger boat to bring us back to shore.

The Music

Official Music

I don't know exactly why, but the Golden Apple Archipelago tracks feel oddly nostalgic—even WHILE I was exploring the area. They bring a mix of feelings that I associate with various memories from childhood and teenhood, including mystery, relaxation, and wonder.

"Whispering Seabreeze" in particular was played in the 1.6 and 2.8 trailers in the parts that briefly showed their respective events. Unlike the other tracks, it gives me the Focused emotion kinda similar to me reading the Pokédex or making tactical plans for a battle or a romantic date.

Battle Themes I Play From Other Sources

The Golden Apple Archipelago is far away from Teyvat so it feels to me like an "alien" area kinda similar to Seirai Island (lightning all over the place), Tsurumi Island (foggy and supposedly uninhabited), Enkanomiya (an undersea empire), and The Chasm: Underground Mines (a massive cave system with the obvious mines, a ruined underground city, and large fungal growths).
As such, I play Pokémon battle themes associated with alien areas, specifically the wild battle themes from ORAS and USUM. ORAS features islands and portals that appear seemingly out of nowhere while USUM allows the player to explore Ultra Space, both of which contain Pokémon, including Legendary Pokémon, from other regions. The ORAS battle theme especially applies since these games got the infamous 7.8/10 rating from IGN for having "too much water".

We did not have a lot of open world battle themes in Genshin Impact back then—the newest one was "All-Conquering Tide" from Dragonspine.
The Golden Apple Archipelago normally reuses the battle themes from Mondstadt—yes, even against the Maguu Kenki which now uses the "Fiery Pursuit" track used for Inazuman bosses.
My favorite battle theme at the time was "All-Conquering Tide"—it blended in well with the sounds of Klee's bombs, in my opinion, especially since Klee was my strongest DPS at the time besides Tartaglia.

If the Golden Apple Archipelago Was Real

For this section, I will make the following assumptions:

• I have sufficient time and resources to bring an unlimited number of people here.
• Only I and specific people I invite will be there. No outsiders—otherwise, we might have to contend with massive numbers of rowdy tourists just like in pretty much every Genshin Impact-themed event ever outside of Japan.
• The area is clearly and accurately marked on a real-life map. It does not "change location".
• The sea level has gone down, completely revealing all the islands.
• The western island is empty; there is no bubble barrier and the Klee-themed furnishings aren't there.
• There is no fog.
• We cannot go to any nation in Teyvat or get help from any playable character or NPC.
• Yes, the hilichurls and stuff are still here.

Who I'd Invite

No offense to my family, of course, but I'm sick of having vacations with family members all the time—they feel too structured and I spend way too much time with them anyway. I want to make the rules and go out with friends since I spend significantly less time with them due to family matters.

First and foremost, I'd invite a love interest...if I had one. As of writing this, I'm still single. Girls love traveling but they tend to be more shy than boys so this would be the perfect opportunity to be alone for a relaxing time...while I'm not beating up hilichurls to secure a perimeter or because I'm bloodthirsty.

As for friends, I'd choose Glacie (a.k.a. NachoPizza), my best friend from Singapore, as well as his girlfriend. YoSquid, my sort-of neighbor, gets to come too.
Glacie, like me, is a big fan of Genshin Impact and shipping.
YoSquid mainly gets to come because I've been friends with him for a long time and he's easy to contact both electronically and physically.

Why not bring your niece?
As much as I want my niece to come...it's too dangerous given I kept the hilichurls. She currently has very little physical strength and no weapon proficiencies at all, even with simple weapons. She loves to roam around on her own similar to Klee so she may randomly wander to a hilichurl camp. I don't want myself or my friends to waste time protecting her.

If she grows older, though, I may consider giving her serious boxing training so that she'll look like Arataki Itto.

If I had to invite her anyway, I'd probably make her stay in a Waverider. That thing has a ton of HP and uses its own offensive stats instead of the character's. Plus, she can actually bomb some hilichurls with it like she wants to.

What I'd Bring

The most important things to bring are survival tools since there are no proper settlements in the Golden Apple Archipelago.
Of course, I would immediately gravitate towards weapons because I love fighting. Luckily, I have many weapons at home, including two arnis sticks, a baseball bat, two kitchen knives, and even a real bow. We just need pointy metal arrows rather than suction-cup ones. Since I'm probably the only one who can properly use a bow, I'll use the bow—but don't worry, I can go melee with my fists. (For long-time readers: I have never seen YoSquid use a real bow.)
As for non-combat tools, I'd borrow my brother's lighter and a water filter.
My sling bag by default contains many survival tools already, including alcohol, bandages, insect repellent, and ointment.

My batteries can hold up for pretty long so I wouldn't mind bringing my phone, my power bank, and my DSLR camera. It's unlikely I would forget to charge these because of how enthusiastic I would be about the trip.

I won't play any video games during the trip. Instead, I'll probably bring my D&D Essentials Kit so, at night while camping, we can play some D&D.
Or we can play cards if not all of us are into roleplay.

Obviously, swimming equipment is a must-have. Each of us will be responsible for bringing our own, however, since I don't have extras.

What We'd Do

I think the most important rule is to never split the party. I understand that there's a possibility some of us want to stick around longer on a single island or explore a new one, but as far as I know, I'm the best fighter while my friends have very little actual combat experience. The most difficult foes we can fight during our trip are Stonehide Lawachurls but they're rare and so big we can see 'em from a mile away and avoid provoking them.

Perhaps, on Day 1 (and maybe Day 2), we can focus entirely on exploration using Waveriders so we can find the safest or most fun island to camp on...or basically wherever we feel like it. After all, I live by the principle of knowing thy enemy.
We should wear our swim gear just in case we want to take a break by swimming.

I personally choose to make Minacious Isle our main base. It's got the upside-down Mondstadt ruins so I'd be interested to study them. It's also a good place to take shelter—it's got large openings for us to see the sunrise and any intruders. Additionally, it's got a large beachfront for us to expand our camp and play beach sports or games.

Broken Isle is probably the most dangerous of the bunch because it has Hydro Mimics—they can float on water and some of them continuously regenerate HP. I don't have enough DPS IRL to take down a Hydro Mimic Boar.