How to Train a Zombie in Boxing (Coach G-Force Part 3, Halloween Special)

Day 5

First of all, Happy Halloween or whatever. I'm honestly not a fan of Halloween, and I never was, even as a kid.

My costume was my custom Evil Karma shirt, which I wore during training, in case you were curious. It matches a tiny bit with the stereotypical scary theme of Halloween, I suppose.

Noob design, I know. I'm not very creative sometimes.

Second, I don't brag about any of these Coach G-Force posts to my mom, since all of them have ridiculous garbage that she won't like, including walking to the gym, using video game fighting moves, and, in this post, training even though my mom banned me from training since I didn't wear underwear this week.

Thank goodness she didn't inspect my bag for boxing equipment.

I slept at 4 AM and woke up at 11 AM on this training day because I was addicted to Pokémon. I CAN'T FIND A FREAKING ADAMANT NATURE NIDORAN♂ WITH GOOD IVs! So you can probably guess that I had little energy while training.

I also ate bread with chocolate before training, so the extra weight was a problem. I felt gluttonous, okay? I also needed the carbs.

For the most part, I had typical training at the start. My punching was fine and still fast yet deadly, as Coach G-Force and the other Gold's Gym trainers expect every time.

I still did speedy uppercuts at the end of each round.

The cool thing about Coach G-Force is that every training session has something unique. On this day in particular, he knows that I occasionally use Muay Thai moves and MMA-style takedowns, so he gave me an exercise where I pin down a bag with my knee and move side-to-side as I punch the bag. I did fine the first two times, where I ended each time with a fingertip stab, karate chop to the throat, and/or an imaginary bow and arrow.

But, eventually, I ran out of energy and became slow, while my head ached and my stomach cramped, to the point where I could only move once per two seconds, rather than my usual split-second attacks. I did not tell Coach G-Force about this and just kept on going while uttering "NEVER QUIT!"

After the brutal beatdown, though, I was given another mittwork round, and the pain became so bad that Coach G-Force gave me a 5-minute break before our last round. Thank goodness. I couldn't even walk properly.

I thought 5 minutes wasn't enough, but I can't believe I made it through the last round, since I did it with my normal energy and strength. I wasn't in pain anymore.

Anyway, the reason why I named this post "How to Train a Zombie in Boxing" is not only because it's Halloween, but also because I felt like a zombie while training, thanks to being much slower than usual before the final round.

I drew Coach G-Force an artwork of myself as a zombie with a Santa hat and boxing gloves with "Happy Hallowmas" (term invented by YoSquid) on the bottom. (I'm not showing it because I might get sued by Nintendo.)

another school inactivity post... (intentional bad grammar)

I really should have announced this earlier, but i got lazy (intentional bad grammar)

• player4709 hasn't posted in his blog because he's improving his grades. I think he'll be back on late November. (I announced this with permission from him)
• I have a lot of big school projects. (too lazy to describe them) I also need to review for my final exams.
• My last exam is on November 20, so I'll hopefully be on vacation by November 21.

School Break Plans

CAUTION: This has references to Christianity.

I know tacticians are supposed to plan ahead, but I don't have specific plans for Christmas.

The only Christmas gift I can give is a prayer that everyone in the world, including you, the reader, will be blessed for years to come.

By the way, I'd like friendly letters and artworks for my Christmas gifts. (Narcissistic, I know.) Send them to me on Facebook:facebook.com/LunaticTactician

• I want to focus on quality maintenance for my blog, meaning I will clean up posts that look childish, cringey, or lazy to myself. Some posts may be deleted entirely.
• I'll write posts that I promised to do before, including my third boxing match against YoSquid.
• I may also continue Pest Control: Pokémon Edition, but I won't talk about a specific region per post, since I'm lazy. Instead, I'll pick two Pokémon from each region (except Kanto, since I did that already) that I think are the most harmful to humanity.
• I still have 16 training sessions left with Coach G-Force, and I think I'll "consume" them completely on February 2019. I'll try and blog about every single training session.
• I'll play a modded Minecraft survival with player4709 using the ByteSize modpack. I'll try and blog about the significant moments.
  Edit: We had a dry run of ByteSize with a friend of player4709 who I will call Mr. Nonlinear (named after nonlinear functions, since I think he's one of the top Math students). Neither I nor Mr. Nonlinear had any idea what the ByteSize mods do, so we got obliterated by the weird variety of creepers, and were bamboozled by the various ores. I need to do some more training on this.
  Edit 2: I've played a TON of ByteSize by myself each time I finished a tough piece of school work. Now that I know what I'm doing, I'm less likely to screw up.

This Kid Is Crazy...at Fighting! (Coach G-Force Part 2)

Day 3

Coach G-Force livestreamed a portion of this training day on Facebook, and, as a male, I, of course, wanted to show off.
I did my usual chip-damage strategy, with the occasional power-punch after a dodge. It doesn't look like showing off, but I didn't want to waste my energy.
But, after watching the footage, my punches looked so fast that they didn't look like chip damage at all, yet I was still ready to fight.

This one guy was commenting stuff like "so sexy" and "hahaha he wants to fight you".

At the near-end of the livestream, I was messing around by diverolling on a mat. That same guy commented, "This kid is crazy!"
I'm sure he meant that in a good way, but my mom didn't like it, so she asked Coach G-Force to delete the livestream, and he did.

Day 4

No livestreams this time, but I powered up with cereals and brutal video game killcams.

I don't wanna bore readers with the typical mittwork descriptions, so let's just say that I need to work on my defense and footwork. I did knock off Coach G-Force's mitt again after a power-punch.

But the stuff I did besides the drills was insane.

After shadowboxing, I finish my imaginary opponent with a power-punch, like Coach G-Force usually expects me to do. But, I had brutal tendencies, so I added a superkick on this day.

After drinking water, I sometimes pretended that there was an assassin behind me, so, each time, I did a 180-degree spin and either assumed my fighting stance, or beat the "killer" up.

I also messed around with MMA-style takedowns, where a fighter ducks, grabs the legs of the opponent, and pins them to the ground with their shoulder. After pummeling the imaginary opponent with punches, I "stabbed" the throat with my fingertips as if they were a knife.

Coach G-Force also wanted me to hold the mitts while he punches. And I was bamboozled, since I wasn't reacting properly to his punches.

When it came to the fast punches, though, like repetitive uppercuts or jabs and crosses, my hands were so fast that Coach G-Force couldn't keep up.

When he does shadowboxing, I think he's pretty fast, but he's still impressed by the speed of my punches. I'm guessing he punches once every 0.25 seconds, while I can punch at less than 0.2 seconds.

My old trainer, who I will call Boulder, challenged me and Coach G-Force to this exercise where we swing a big, heavy rope up and down for 30 seconds.

Coach G-Force did it with slightly more force than me, while I struggled.

Ironically, Coach G-Force ran out of energy and stopped before the time ran out, while I kept on going until the end...while making grunts.

Boulder pretended to do the Superman Punch on me, and every time, I strafed away and pretended to attack his midsection.

Boulder wanted me to try my fingertip stab attack on him, and he grabbed my wrist and pretended to bend my arm.

I pretended to break free by spinning and then countering with a kick to the midsection.

He then said he's willing to offer me MMA training.

Boulder is also encouraging me to spar against Coach G-Force.

I was open to the idea back when I haven't met Coach G-Force, but I was scared that time. Now, however, I'm a bit more up to the challenge, and so is Coach G-Force. His punching speed compared to mine is the main reason why I'm more confident.

And since he lost to me in the rope-swinging thing, I think chip damage can hurt him pretty bad.

Can I confuse him or hit a weak point by strafing? (Insert ZeldaMaster's "Hmmm...")

Just to be sure, though, I wanna practice by sparring with YoSquid. His skribbl.io drawings were so bad that they were hard to guess, and I desperately want to take revenge. Thanks to Coach G-Force, though, I can properly defend against the Mortal Kombat uppercut now.

Stop Butt-Dialing

DISCLAIMER: I am not an electrical engineer. Also, I got lazy, and I'm busy with studies.

I'll admit yet again that I'm guilty of butt-dialing. I guess I'm either in a big hurry, or just plain lazy to lock my phone.
So I'm making it a habit to lock my phone.

But, one morning, my mom and I heard our phones ringing, showing Dad calling. When we picked up, we heard nothing but static.
What made this extra annoying is that Dad did it multiple times to Mom, while, in my case, he did it while I was fast asleep.

Dad likes to leave his phone's backlight on to supposedly prolong the life of the power button thingy.
This is a big problem for me because, even if a phone is stored in a pocket, electricity from human skin can still cause a capacitive touchscreen (the thing that smartphones and tablets use) to react, since I think clothing is too thin to insulate electricity effectively, and these touchscreens are made to react to very light touches.
So, if you don't want to press your power button, please set your phone's backlight time to a very short time to minimize the risk of butt-dialing, or do what my mom did and buy a phone case that locks the phone when covered.

Side note: Remember in Regular Show when Mordecai sang "Having a Good Time" with his phone literally underneath his butt, and it accidentally got sent as a voicemail to his crush Margaret?

Return of Formal Boxing Training (Coach G-Force Part 1)

Originally, I planned to write about what to expect when I fight one of the Gold's Gym trainers, but I got training instead of sparring.
Here's what I drafted earlier:

"The Gold's Gym trainers know that I have a bit of experience in boxing, as I have done shadow-boxing occasionally in their place. I've also did a bit of hitting the mitts with a trainer.
One of the trainers encouraged me to challenge another one of their trainers to boxing sparring. I'll call this challenger Coach G-Force. (Looks too much like a brand name, I know. I need a better fake name that starts with G.) After looking at his Facebook account, which mainly shows sparring and fight training videos, he really means business with his fighting. I'm sure he's done fighting for years--I even saw him in a professional competitive fight.

Since I'm feeling excited, I wanna write about my analysis of Coach G-Force.

Obviously, he will be much stronger and have more stamina than me since he's studied fitness for many years, so I'm gonna avoid getting hit as much as possible, despite my high defenses (I can take a full-force beating of clean hits from YoSquid without running low on HP). Unlike YoSquid, though, I'm sure tiring out Coach G-Force won't work.
I saw this video of his where a 68-year-old Japanese man pummeled Coach G-Force with punch after punch, and the trainer was mainly on the defensive, while getting pinned to the side or corner of the ring. Before seeing Coach G-Force's Facebook account, I planned to do chip damage to him like I stated in "Fighting Addiction", but after seeing this video, my strategy was verified."
*end of original post*

Training: Day 1

We had seven rounds of brutally fast mittwork (i.e. punching mitts with my fists), where I tired myself out each time, as Coach G-Force knew my skill level and adapted to it.
And, I must say, I punch much faster and harder in training now than I did before. I even knocked off one of the mitts. The trainer often described how my punches were "strong".
I admit, though, that I hit too hard on round 1 because I wanted to be boastful. In the next rounds, though, I usually did chip damage to save my energy, unless either Coach G-Force wanted me to power-punch, or I dodged an attack.
The other trainers were entertained as I kept on training.

Afterwards, Coach G-Force showed me footage of his fights.
He won an MMA fight by knocking his opponent to the ground and doing the ground-and-pound, where his opponent tapped out.
He also won a boxing match in just 2 punches. HOLY SWEAR WORDS, that is incredible. Both punches were clean hits to the chin.
At least I know more about his fighting style, but I need to get better in order to have a fighting chance against him.

Day 2

The previous day was a free training session, but I was so interested to keep on training that I begged my mother to buy me 20 training sessions in exchange for not paying me for my part-time job at her bakery franchise.

Eh, it's worth it, because my weekly salary is just enough to pay for one training session.

Now that I know what to expect on my next session, I prepared by eating too many nuts. (I'm addicted to them. They're an awesome vegetarian source of protein.)

I forgot to hit my punching bag, but in defense, I wanted to conserve my energy for my training. Plus, I wanted to do my usual 15-minute walk to the mall, so that covers up my cardio. (My mom won't let me use my bicycle, possibly because of bad drivers.)

Coach G-Force welcomed me with a smile and a wave as soon as I entered Gold's Gym. Once I got my stuff sorted out in the locker area, I was told to do shadowboxing.

I mostly threw jabs, crosses, and feints erratically in order to confuse my imaginary opponent with my speed, but I maintained my chip-damage strategy to conserve my energy since I'm expecting lots of rounds of training. I only threw big punches when I imagined an avoidable punch.

Coach G-Force was doing his own shadowboxing as well, so I messed around by pretending to dodge his punches, but dang, his combos were so fast that I usually got "hit" by his second punch.

We then did the usual mittwork for another 7 rounds. I conserved my energy throughout all the rounds because I got lazy, but I had to ramp up my performance since Coach G-Force made each round slightly harder, with more power-punches and long combos.

I got hit multiple times, though, so I need to work on my anticipation. Coach G-Force also pointed out that I wasn't blocking correctly since I put my hands and elbows too close together, when they should be separated in order to block attacks to the side of the body.

Overall, this was much more brutal than my first day.

Despite my muscles almost dying, Coach G-Force often told the other Gold's Gym trainers after each round that I'm "strong" and "fast". Yup, I can be strong even at just 173 cm, 56 kg.

I believe my mom pointed out to Coach G-Force that I need to work on my core, so, at the end of those brutal rounds, I did a lot of abdominal workouts, and I tried so hard that I felt like quitting, but I kept on trying, probably because I wanted to make my trainer proud.

Oh boy, I wanna keep begging YoSquid to fight me. Not only do I wanna show off my skills to him, but I wanna retaliate for his stupid drawings in skribbl.io.

Goodbye, Mr. Incessant (outdated)

Well, I screwed my two previous blog posts about Mr. Incessant. He hasn't changed his attitude (yeah, I admit, I haven't played with him much due to studies), and my previously stated "final rant" is NOT my final rant anymore.

Mr. Incessant has been banned from my home Minecraft server for Distributed Denial of Service* (DDoS) threats.

He's currently making an appeal where he is apologizing for his action.
But I doubt his appeal will be accepted. He insulted a high-ranking staff member with "FYS".

Oh well, at this point, I don't care anymore, even if he's traumatized by his dead mother. I'll only talk to him if it's truly important.
If he makes another big screw-up, I might post about it.
But if he does something really good, I'll be extra skeptical of it.

Edit: Mr. Incessant has been unbanned. Wow, I honestly did not see this coming.

*A Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack is where a user uses multiple computers to flood a server with a massive number of false requests, causing the server to slow down or crash.

Angry Rant: Cyclist Haters

So I just got caught by my parents for taking my bike out of the house on my way to Gold's Gym, even though I followed all road rules, gave way to other drivers, constantly looked 360 degrees for potential thieves, terrorists, and bad drivers, and locked my bike when I left it behind.

Out of anger, it got me thinking: Cycling is surprisingly risky.
I don't blame myself though since, contrary to my Facebook posts of me "driving liek a B-word", I consider myself an objectively good driver and cyclist.
I'm talking about the life-threatening rubbish haunting the roads of Metro Manila, the capital of the Philippines.

I wanna release my rage now, so let's get started:

Stray Dogs

No offense to any dog lovers who read this.

I have always been afraid of dogs since I was a kid.

Both my previous and current neighborhoods are filled to the brim with dog owners--around 60% of the households had dogs. They bark loudly every time they see a person.

But the neighborhoods don't just have owned dogs--they have loads of stray dogs. While I admit they're not as hostile as owned dogs, I'm still paranoid of them attacking because I've seen two events of stray dogs running after motorbike riders. On the other hand, I'm afraid of blood, so I don't want to run over a stray dog even if it blocks my way through the road.

Also, I've had nightmares and real-life events of me being chased by dogs. I even got bitten in one nightmare.

Dogs aren't a big deal if I'm in a wide, open road where I can go around them while outspeeding them, but, in combination with bad drivers and/or large crowds of pedestrians, dogs are extremely hard to evade when provoked, unless the cyclist doesn't care about other pedestrians or drivers.

So, for the love of all that is good, train your dogs to behave properly. If you work in law enforcement or have a high political rank, help bring these stray dogs to an animal shelter.
Edit, October 13, 2018: I got chased by a stray dog near two schools while cycling. I shouted swear words in panic and "OUT OF MY WAY!" to pedestrians as I cycled at high speed.
It's hard to follow road rules with these menaces in the way.
And, in case someone tells me to train to fight against dogs, thanks, I'll look into it, but I'm more afraid of dogs than I am of knives and guns.

BAD DRIVERS!

Thank goodness for MandJTV and my driving instructor informing me about the types of bad drivers, because now I can adapt to them accordingly. Let's just hope none of them drive exactly like GTA players, because those drivers are tough as nails to evade.

Bad drivers in general think they have the road all to themselves, so they disregard other drivers as they move. Like Michael Groth (2017) from MandJTV said, they change lanes without signaling even if there are other drivers in the other lane at high speed, and they don't let others into their lanes.
The above are not a big deal since I can evade vehicles with my fast reflexes and small bicycle. They are annoying while I'm driving a car, especially the ones on motorbikes.
But, in busy roads where I can't see the vehicles surrounding me because of large vehicles like trucks and buses blocking my view, overtaking and swerving motorcyclists become a massive problem. Since my bike doesn't have mirrors, I have to turn my head frequently in order to react, and that hurts my neck.
I've also seen lots of news reports of cyclists getting road-killed and trucks not braking properly.
Edit: I also see a lot of drivers who don't use their turn signal when making a turn, even though I'm close to them. You've got to be kidding me.

Criminals

Stray dogs and bad drivers are easy to avoid since they are somewhat predictable and they're not persistent in trying to harm others. Once the stray dog calms down or the bad driver speeds off, they're no longer a problem.

But criminals are a whole different story. They're the most dangerous hazard to cyclists since they're persistent--they usually won't stop until they successfully steal or kill.

Sneaky tactics like pickpocketing usually won't work on me because I watch my surroundings frequently, especially during a stop light, since beggars and street vendors are notorious for getting drivers' attention during stop lights here in Metro Manila. I also put my arms around my bags while stopping so that I can feel sudden movements like a hand reaching into my stuff. I also know a lot of common scams, so they can't talk their way into making me give my stuff. I'm lazy to reply, after all.

However, sneaky tactics become more dangerous in busy roads with slow-moving vehicles where I have to react properly to other drivers and pedestrians, or even stray dogs. I have to keep moving to avoid being a sitting duck and allow other drivers to move, while not provoking stray dogs (and being ready to kick them if they do attack). I can't grasp my backpack while holding the handlebars, or else I will lose balance. This gives pickpockets a chance to exploit my divided attention.

Violent crimes are the most dangerous threats since they are incredibly difficult to avoid.

I know martial arts, so I have no problem if the attackers come at me with fists. And, while I'm afraid of bladed melee weapons, I can simply avoid them by cycling away. Rock throws are also easy to dodge, despite being ranged attacks.

But, considering the horribly common news reports of guns, grenades, and illegal drugs being confiscated from suspects, I am extremely paranoid of gunmen. Unlike a car, which can endure a bullet or two without letting the driver die, cyclists are completely vulnerable to guns. Even if I cycle away, there's no way I can dodge bullets, and even if I miraculously survive, I still have to weave in and out of traffic due to fear, endangering myself and other drivers in the process.

In conclusion...

Respect and protect the world's cyclists. We save the world by promoting an eco-friendly yet fast and muscle-building method of transportation.

Keep your dogs in line, give way to other drivers and cyclists, and stop using or selling illegal drugs.

Also keep your cars well-maintained because the lack of brake fluid TRIGGERS me.

TL;DR summary: Cycling is risky because of stray dogs potentially biting, bad drivers who don't give way and risk bumping others, and criminals who will usually stop at nothing to steal from or kill cyclists.