Image from Wikimedia Commons |
Yeah, I'll admit my hopeless romantic Manchild brain was recently hypnotized by social media into taking Valentine's Day seriously.
It's extra bothersome for me this year because, again, I'm feeling unlucky even with most simple friendships. I planned to restore a friendship after one month of leaving the person alone because I wanted them (I'm deliberately hiding their gender) to have more time for real-life responsibilities and enjoying introvert perks...but I gave up upon realizing family and work continue to be bigger priorities for them.
Keyword: most. I'm cheating a bit 'cause I still have one friendship intact...and we're having fun roleplaying.
So I distracted myself effectively by working a whopping 12 hours straight in my English tutoring job. Let's just say...I've just felt the tip of the iceberg in terms of what big-shot voice actors experience on a regular basis. That is, my voice got rekt. But it was all worth it.
Childhood Valentine's Days?
I remember absolutely nothing about them. Maybe I just treated them like regular days...even when I was taking Wednesday face-to-face classes in high school.
I was blessed to have been educated in private schools for the vast majority of my school life. Most (if not all) of the students were nice people who took their studies seriously.
I almost never participated in the casual conversations of other students, and I don't remember the ones I actually participated in. As far as I know, though, none of them talked about Valentine's Day. Similarly, I feel like they participated in Christmas gift exchanges simply because it was "the right thing to do".
In the one year that I was in public school, our final exam for the year was in January instead of March or April, so we didn't celebrate Valentine's Day during the term.
My memory is extremely fuzzy, but I think one of my classmates confessed to me only for me to lie to her, saying "I have a girlfriend". I didn't mention my then-crush "Mareeta" by name or drop any hints, but that's who I referred to in my brain.
What About February 2020?
Can't remember either. I was probably focused on my studies.
Maybe I was mentally planning to apologize to "Mareeta" after a straight year of no communication. I did it in March 2020.
Why did I apologize? Because I gossiped about her to other friends I had in 2018 and 2019. I also snubbed her in a March 2019 supermarket trip even though her mom bought us ice cream.
Needless to say, "Mareeta" and her mom don't talk to me anymore. The last time I talked to her mom was in late 2020, about 6 months after the apology. For the sake of their privacy, I won't say why--heck, maybe there are other reasons I don't know about.
Future Valentine's Days?
I think avoiding interactions between me and other people will be best for all of us. To me, everyone is either a physically and mentally weak slacker or a good-looking workaholic ace. Without me, they can enjoy their anime, K-Pop, video games, family, school, and work.
You could argue that's my...way of showing love to others. You could also argue that I'm being passive-aggressive.
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