(Swear-post) Hytale-themed Bat Soup Rant!

DISCLAIMER: This is speculative and based on Hytale pre-release information. This is not to be taken seriously; this is just for fun.

MORE IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional. Take EVERYTHING I say about the Wuhan coronavirus with planet-sized salt.

Before I start, let me say that I have nothing against the Chinese people as a whole. My mother and grandparents are part-Chinese, and the Philippines has good diplomatic relations with China.

It's just that Wuhan coronavirus news just keeps biting me in the butt again and again. Every time I see a related news report or blogger commentary, I think of the blasted root causes of the problem, including weird animal meats like those of bats and snakes being sold in Wuhan, some Chinese people eating bat soup, and the Chinese government covering up this virus. According to Zhou et al. (2020), "2019-nCoV is 96% identical at the whole-genome level to a bat coronavirus."

Bats have always been a mild annoyance in my Minecraft playthroughs. Sometimes, they just get in my way while I'm holding the left mouse button to mine something, forcing me to temporarily stop mining. Sometimes, I accidentally hit them with my pickaxe, wasting 2 durability that could've been used to mine 2 precious ores. At worst, bats can randomly "shield" hostile mobs, allowing them to get closer to me while I'm unable to knock them back...especially if one of the hostile mobs I'm fighting is a creeper.

On late February, when "Inside the Hytale Foley Studio" came out, there were only 3 Wuhan coronavirus cases in the Philippines, and the planet wasn't on lockdown/quarantine yet, sound designer Kieran Fitzpatrick was shown making bat sounds by squeezing an inflated balloon.
The only gripe I have against these bats is that they sound weird to me, considering that I'm used to Minecraft bat sounds and find them more "natural". (I guess I just haven't heard a lower-frequency version of real life bat sounds.)

But, guess what? Early March comes around and now we're dealing with a pandemic. As of writing this, nearly half a million have been infected and more than 20,000 are dead.
All because some idiots ate bat soup and some other idiots spread the disease.

Screenshot from Johns Hopkins University
Taken on March 26

I expect the Wuhan coronavirus story to be a major topic in world history, which is why I imagine a Hytale modder to make a custom adventure based on this.
But if it doesn't happen, at least I still get to make one up, right? Prepare for cringey Dungeon Master narration.

In an alternate version of Orbis, the Outlanders are starving. Edible crops are scarce due to the raging blizzards of zone 3, and most traditional sources of meat have been driven to near extinction. Monsters mutated by strange, uncontrollable dark magics roam the snow-drowned landscape, ruthlessly slaughtering every last animal and sentient being.

Unable to adapt to the harshness of the surface, the Outlanders have fled underground to seek warmth and shelter. Hunger remained a significant problem, however--what are they gonna do, eat moss and rocks? Until a particularly brain-dead Outlander got an "idea" from hearing a distant squeak echoing throughout the vast darkness...

That's it! Bats, they thought. I mean, surely, they're safe to eat, right? They have wings like chickens do, they squeak kinda like rabbits... Famine crisis averted! Right?

Sort of. The Outlanders, now an underground-dwelling faction, have lived decently for years with the relative "safety" provided by the abundance of bats in their home caves. They've also learned to soften the bat meat by drenching it in water, thus creating the weapon of mass destruction known as bat soup.

However, another idiotic Outlander, bored of the underground life, broke away from the Outlander faction and became an adventurer. Not to worry though--he's addicted to bat soup, so his backpack made of bat hide is overstocked with bat meat and water!

After 5 days of traveling, this adventurer's first stop is zone 1. A balanced climate for a change, right? This Outlander decided to take a rest in a dense forest. Of course, he had bat soup for lunch before taking a nap with his backpack as his pillow. The zone 1 grass was perfectly soft for his back.

He awakened at sunset with an uneasy feeling. His throat felt dry and itchy. He touched his neck, and it was much hotter than usual. He started coughing more often.
A party of tree people known as the Kweebecs curiously ran towards the Outlander adventurer and were concerned. They decided to take him to their village.

The Kweebecs aided the Outlander as best they can, but they have no clue how the Outlander got sick. They have a theory though: The Outlander might have touched a poisonous plant.
Terrified of this news, the Outlander quickly crafted "slippers" out of wood then fled the Kweebec village and then zone 1, thinking the vibrant green grass was poisonous.

A week later, the Kweebecs started feeling the same unease as the Outlander. Coughing, itchy throat, fever, you know what I'm talking about. In a panic, the Kweebecs fled their own village as well, thinking this new disease might have taken over.
DISCLAIMER: I'm not sure yet if other species in real life can spread the Wuhan coronavirus.

The Trorks used the disarray and social isolation of the Kweebec faction as an opportunity to destroy the Kweebecs. Gang skirmishes have become more common across zone 1, with the Kweebecs losing almost every time thanks as well to the disease making it difficult for them to fight back.

As the Trorks celebrated hideously for every victory, with the fallen Kweebecs at the center, the virus, now desperate for another host, spread to the Trorks. The next week, celebration immediately descended into doom. Now it's the Trorks' turn to not be able to fight back.

Meanwhile, the Outlander adventurer also infected the Ferans, but I'm too tired to narrate because I'm really freaking angry.
Let's just say every faction ever eventually got infected.

This is where the player characters come in. A deadly virus has been unleashed upon the entirety of Orbis. No one other than the underground Outlanders knows where this virus truly came from, not even the players. Entire factions have either gone in hiding to hopefully evade the virus or are rapidly exterminating each other or their rivals, thinking they might either be infected or the cause of the outbreak. It's the player characters' jobs to decide what to do in the midst of the outbreak.

Good Playthrough Goals

• Investigate the true root cause of the outbreak.
• Learn who this Outlander adventurer is and his motives. If he is alive, kill, capture, or even cure him.
• Develop a vaccine and/or cure for the virus.
• Cure and/or immunize the infected.
• Kill, capture, or cure those who willingly spread the virus.

Evil Playthrough Goals

• Weaponize the virus, allowing it to spread rapidly over a massive area.
• Alter the virus so it can be more powerful or take on additional properties. Maybe even use it to turn things into zombies.
• Threaten to spread the virus or not stop the outbreak unless others do the players' bidding.
• Become one with the virus. Become the virus.
• Falsely encourage others to eat bat soup as the "cure" for the virus.
• Murder-hobo everyone. Because why not?

My Real Life Dungeons & Dragons Classes

Rogue, Level 2

I don't have a tactical pen.
Impersonating John Wick will do for now.

This is my starting class. I've always been sneaky as a kid, usually when my video game consoles get confiscated. I was basically how a kid would imagine a pirate (besides the whole seafaring thing): I loved searching for "treasure", whether it's the toy I lost under a rack or a video game console that my parents hid.

In the supermarket, whenever I regrouped with my parents after splitting up, I often snuck up behind them then gently poked their backs or said "Boo!" (Yes, my parents let me push my own cart.)

In preschool, I often jumped off the last two steps on the stairs.

In 2nd grade, I often did back and front rolls on the floor in the school hallway.

Starting in 8th grade, I can jump off the last five steps on stairs and do diverolls and cartwheels.

Nowadays, I can sneak-attack anyone I know, even if they're fighting me. (Yes, I have an OP sneak attack.) I can quickly strafe to someone's side and punch them on the back. I act chill at first with my punches, then suddenly throw a lightning-fast punch out of nowhere while my opponent is not paying attention--usually after a feint.

As for thieves' cant...I actually don't know it yet, but I do have a small memory of made-up words and phrases, as well as words with changed meanings, like the following:

Alcohol = water

Anabolic steroids = any food with protein

Cattle feces = a swear word substitute (Self-reminder: Never use this phrase ever again)

Drunk = the state of having drank too much water

Explode = to fart

Gluttonize = to eat a lot of

Jordneck = one who is both a jock and a nerd

Old man bladder = offensive term for someone who pees more often than average

Steal = to take someone's turn without permission, usually with video games

For Cunning Action, I once put a booger on my big brother when I was angry with him. He chased me but I got away quickly, so there's the Disengage part. Nowadays, I just hit and run by stunning someone with a punch to the face, gut, or groin first.

I can't properly explain the Dash part, but I guess it often goes along with my Dodge action. I can weave through thin gaps within crowds of people while keeping my arms up in case some fool throws a punch out of nowhere. Other times, after I use the Help action on a stranger, I flex my speed by dashing.

I don't recall ever trying to Hide immediately after an action like Attack, but I can probably do it by punching someone in the face or gouging their eyes before hiding. I can definitely Hide after a Dash, though.

Higher Rogue Levels

I want to be ready in case I have to be stuck in the wild due to war, natural disaster, or the apocalypse, so I want to take the Scout subclass.

However, I'm not skilled yet with surviving in the wild--the closest I've gone to camping was sleeping on a mat on my roof deck, which didn't have a roof at the time. Mosquitoes were the only annoyance.

Uncanny Dodge and Evasion are features that I may eventually get as I spar more often and do more physically demanding roguish deeds. Right now, I'm better at parrying than dodging.

I guess I use Uncanny Dodge when I move so fast that, when our family's crazy dog scratches or bites me, it doesn't hurt much. 

For Evasion, when I attempt to dodge something but fail, it doesn't hurt much either. This occurs when an attack targeting me doesn't hit cleanly, such as a face punch hitting my ear instead.

I'm far from having Reliable Talent--I still get my investigations wrong sometimes, and I still sometimes get caught sneaking around at home.

The Scout's Ambush Master feature is amazing. It goes well with my preference for the front lines, as well as my sneak attacks.

Monk, Level 3

This is obviously from my martial arts experience--I've trained in a boxing gym and watched self-defense videos.

I know D&D monks are designed to resemble martial artists in movies with the whole meditation, humility, and self-improvement things, but I defy some of those characteristics. Remember, I'm a chaotic neutral whose starting class is Rogue--while most monks have very little use for material possessions, I aim to be rich.

I haven't been to many fights besides my sparring against Coach G-Force and YoSquid, but I know I'm a cut above the average Joe in technique, so it's reasonable that my unarmed strikes do 1d4 damage. (I imagine black belts and trainers do 1d6, Olympic-level athletes do 1d8, and champion athletes do 1d10.)

As for monk weapons, I like to strike with both ends of a spear as if I'm using a bo staff. I think I can do quick wrist-only motions with clubs and hand axes as if I'm throwing a quick punch.

I think most people walk from 2 to 3 km/h. I normally walk 5.5 km/h, though I can hit 6 km/h if I'm extra motivated.

I jog 7 km/h when I'm in lazy workout mode. When I need to get to an important destination or when I'm extra motivated, my normal running speed becomes 10 km/h.

I normally sprint 15 km/h, but I've exceeded 20 km/h before. Yes, I've broken the 20 km/h speed limit for crowded streets...with my feet. (Note I couldn't find a legal source on the Web, but I know there are signs on some streets in my neighborhood with such a speed limit.)

However, if I'm carrying something heavy, I get reduced to jogging speed.

I can certainly do a Flurry of Blows--I can comfortably do 10 hits with boxing gloves and 20 hits with bare hands. It's admittedly tiring, so when training, I extend my arms very little.

I can't properly explain Patient Defense, but sometimes I reduce my attack power and frequency when focusing on how my opponent moves. I was once sneak-attacked by a Gold's Gym trainer while I fought another trainer, though.

As for Step of the Wind, I only use it for extending my jump distance--up to 2 meters for a long jump. For Disengage and Dash, I use Cunning Action.

By the way, I restore my ki in two ways: thinking of romance (once per long rest) and taking a rest.
Also, instead of using Wisdom, my ki save DC uses the following formula: 8 + proficiency bonus + Strength modifier. Thus, as a level 6 character with 13 (+1) Strength, my ki save DC is 12.

Yes, I can deflect missiles, though only blunt ones. In dodgeball, I lazily disregard the "catching only" rule, so I block dodgeballs with my forearms and karate chops. I still have trouble catching projectiles, though.

I wanna practice with a tennis ball machine at some point.

My subclass is Way of the Open Hand. The Open Hand Technique can knock an enemy prone, push it 15 feet away, or prevent it from taking reactions.

Interestingly, I don't always use an "open hand" (or palm strike) to perform the effects of Open Hand Technique. For knocking prone, I do a DDT or pull someone's leg.

For shoving, I break the enemy's defenses first and knock them off-balance then do a double palm strike to the gut as if I'm pushing a box...though I'm not quite sure if I can push someone 15 feet away. I think it's just 5 feet.

For preventing reactions, I make them flinch somehow, such as with a forceful punch to the gut.

Higher Monk Levels

If I learn more about parkour and acrobatics, I might eventually gain Slow Fall...or rather, resistance to fall damage.

Stunning Strike is one of my favorite monk features, especially because it can be combined with Flurry of Blows and Extra Attack to stun up to 4 enemies in one turn. This can end street fights VERY quickly since it forces my enemies to writhe in pain or lose their balance to the point that they can't follow me while I escape or defend themselves while I pummel them into oblivion.

The feint + gut punch combo is my favorite way to do this, but I think I can also pull it off with a face punch or groin kick.

I'm not sure what would realistically have resistance or immunity to nonmagical "physical" attacks, but I guess ki-empowered strikes would be good against enemies whose bones I may have trouble breaking. I would get this feature when I play D&D, though, because many late-game monsters are resistant or immune to nonmagical attacks.

I am first and foremost a rogue, though, so I'd stop gaining monk levels when I become a level 6 monk.

Barbarian, Level 1

Video by XP to Level 3

I think, besides super strength, the first thing that comes to mind when talking about barbarians in general is "RAGE!!!"

Yes, contrary to what my parents think, I have bad anger issues. I react negatively to being insulted, being asked a stupid question, being confronted by authority, or even hearing someone raise their voice due to what I think is anger.

I still rage-quit games while shouting "screw this!" or "I give up!". Interestingly, I don't break anything due to this rage except my punching bag, and I just tell my fellow players that I need time to relax before playing again.

I'm not 100% sure how much anger-causing is enough to give me the effects of D&D rage, but when I am angry enough, I become very destructive and difficult to stop.

I break out of being grappled more easily...unless that grappling is done by a much heavier or more muscular martial artist.

I normally move 4 km/h while carrying heavy objects without flexing my speed, but while raging, I can move up to 9 km/h. I think I can even exceed 30 km/h on a bicycle?

I can shove an enemy further with my Open Hand Technique while raging--about 10 feet.

I can break someone's forearms by banging them with hammerfists over and over, making their face vulnerable to an even more painful Flurry of Blows.

Speaking of Flurry of Blows, I don't need ki to use it while raging.

I don't flinch at all when punched or when I accidentally hit myself.

I have something that makes my rage different from the D&D version: I gain Dexterity-related benefits while raging.

I add both my Strength and Dexterity modifiers when attacking with finesse or monk weapons and unarmed strikes since I flex my muscles to the max while maintaining proper technique.

I think I steal stuff and plant contraband faster while raging.

I once dodged a close-range spit attack while raging.

I weave through the my house's difficult terrain much quicker than usual while raging.

Since spellcasting doesn't exist, let's say I can't do intense mental work like school work while raging. In fact, school work only adds to my rage.

As I explained in my post about my D&D ability scores, being physically damaged a lot has contributed to me being more durable, which is why I use the barbarian's Unarmored Defense instead of the monk's.

Interestingly, while barbarians normally live outside of civilization, I actually like the city. I'm not used to living outside a city, so being in a rural village feels unsettling and sometimes dirty.

Funny thing is, I also gain the effects of Rage while thinking about romance. I think to myself, "I bet I can impress this lady by beating this criminal to a pulp and saving the day! I can't let anyone innocent get hurt--especially the one I love!"
Fortunately, romantic thoughts don't stop me from doing school work. Then again, school work suppresses my romantic thoughts because of how stressful it is.

I don't plan to gain any more levels in Barbarian because I rarely attack recklessly. My roguish and monastic abilities are far stronger than my rage.
If I do get a subclass in Barbarian, I'd take Path of the Berserker, which is really just pure rage.

What about other classes?

Artificer

I don't actively do crafts...though I used to make paper guns and cardboard swords. As I said before in multiple posts, I am good with computers, though.

I think Mom and Big Brother would make good artificers though--Mom can find unconventional uses for mundane items and Big Brother is an engineer.

For my artificer subclass, I'd take Battle Smith. Rogue, Monk, and Barbarian lack features that support or defend their allies, and I value my friends, so Battle Smith, thanks to being able to summon a steel defender, will allow me to protect my allies.

Bard

I have almost no musical talent, though I can whistle melodies fairly accurately.

I used to play the flute, but I broke it. -_-

I'd choose the College of Valor as my subclass. I want to make sure my allies always fight at their best performance, which is important if I'm to earn the respect I need as the leader of the pack. (My friends often choose me to lead them in battle--I'm usually the bossy nerd in the group.)

I think my former crush would make a great bard. She's a diplomat, she plays the violin well, and she can paint.

Cleric

I'm not religious...though if I could learn only one 1st-level spell in real life, I'd choose cure wounds. I'm already strong, fast, and tanky, but I won't take my chances in case street jerks hit my friends or the innocent.

I'd be a Life Domain cleric if I were more religious.

Druid

I'm not knowledgeable enough about plants or animals, so this is a no-go.

If I had to pick a subclass, it would probably be Circle of Dreams.

Fighter

Along with Rogue, I often get this class when I take the quiz on easydamus.com.

While I have no formal training on any weapon except fists, I've watched a handful of YouTube videos about some basics on swords, spears, and bows, and I incorporate some of the techniques I learned in boxing in weapon combat, such as twisting my hips when I thrust with a rapier or spear. I've also paid for some archery sessions before, though they were more recreational than educational.

I can comfortably wield many random objects as weapons. I can parry punches with a book or a chair and I can stab someone with a pen out of nowhere. I wield umbrellas as if they're rapiers, mops as if they're quarterstaves, and baseball bats and golf clubs as if they're maces.

I know fighters don't come with proficiency in improvised weapons, but I don't really care. :p

I'd choose Archery as my fighting style since I'm already a powerful melee fighter, and being good at ranged combat helps balance me out.

I could've chosen Defense but it requires me to wear armor, thus becoming redundant with my Unarmored Defense and preventing me from performing the monk's Martial Arts and, in the case of heavy armor, many of the barbarian's Rage features.

For my subclass, I'd take Battle Master and these maneuvers: Commander's Strike, Feinting Attack, and Riposte at level 3, Distracting Strike and Goading Attack at level 7, Disarming Attack and Evasive Footwork at level 10, and Maneuvering Attack and Rally at level 15.

Then again, all my attacks are Menacing Attacks for some reason. Even the mere mention of my martial arts skill is enough to send a weak-willed person fleeing in terror, even if I remain polite and friendly.

My younger brother Ivann has the build and skills of a fighter--he beats me in swordfighting and hits reasonably well with a bow and a Nerf blaster.

In D&D, though, he's HeadsHoKer the paladin. He really likes the paladin in Warcraft III.

I'm not sure about YoSquid's weapon skill, but he also wields Nerf blasters well. In Minecraft, he kicks butt with both sword and bow, even though he mainly wields a bow.

In D&D, though, he's a fighter.

Paladin

Again, I'm not religious. I also can't keep promises so I can't take an oath.

If I had to take an oath, I'd take Oath of Vengeance. In a Hytale or Minecraft situation, I'd take Oath of Conquest.

Ranger

I'm not a survival expert...yet. I do favor city, forest, and grassland terrain, though. Humans and beasts (specifically insects) are my favored enemies.

For Hytale, my favored enemies are Trorks and deadeye pigeons.

I think, the first time I took Don't Stop Thinking's D&D class quiz, I got Ranger. I like to use terrain to my advantage in battle, particularly in Minecraft by hiding underground. In real life, though, I prefer to smack someone with a tree branch, bash their head on a tree trunk, or shove them so they trip on an elevated sidewalk.

Sorcerer

I knew how to read at the very young age of 2 years old and I can intuitively learn to use software and play video games faster than others, but other than that, I learned many of my current skills through either working out or reading/watching videos about them.

Does it count if I learn to do journalism, ninja moves, weapon combat, or wrestling moves even without formal training or research?

My mom was born in the Year of the Dragon and she has the ferocity and charisma of a dragon, so I'd have a Draconic Bloodline as my sorcerous origin.

She likes the lightning element, so I chose the bronze dragon as my ancestor--it has a lightning breath.

For my Metamagic options, I'd choose Heightened Spell and Subtle Spell at level 3, Quickened Spell at level 10, and Empowered Spell at level 17.

When BoltOLightnin took Don't Stop Thinking's D&D class quiz, he got Sorcerer.

Warlock

I'm too chaotic to swear allegiance to a patron, and frankly, I don't like any of the patrons available in D&D.

Wizard

Like Fighter, I think Wizard is very applicable to me. Thanks to the massive wealth of information provided by the Web, much of which I find reliable, it's easier than ever to be as intelligent as a wizard without leaving the house.

Then again, most of my practical knowledge comes from video games since even fantasy-themed games draw some inspiration from real life.

I explained my feats of intelligence back in my ability scores post, but for a quick review, I can easily do mental math, I have many childhood memories, I memorize regular customers' orders and facial features, and I know too many things about Hytale.

I'd focus on abjuration and divination magic. Abjuration allows me to protect my allies while divination allows me to learn information about my enemies--a very useful school of magic for tacticians.

Between the two, I would choose divination.

Conjuration is versatile, but many conjuration spells either deal damage or teleport things. I'd rather rely on my natural speed and strength so I can focus on mastering abjuration and divination.

Enchantment is fun because it allows me to force others to do my bidding or make fools of themselves, but I prefer to intimidate them with my nonmagical insults and speed.

Evocation is also redundant with my offensive capabilities, though I'd learn at least one evocation spell in case my fists can't do a thing.

Illusion is trolly, but it's redundant with my roguish abilities.

Necromancy is a controversial school of magic--I bet knowing it in the real, modern world would get me wanted levels. Some necromancy spells can be used for good, but many of them are restricted to support classes like clerics.

Transmutation looks versatile, but I'd rather "transform" things the real, hard way, again to keep my focus on abjuration and divination.

How Am I Doing in the Wuhan Coronavirus Outbreak?

DISCLAIMER: I am not a health professional, government representative, or journalist. Take every statement I make about the Wuhan coronavirus with 69x as much salt as my Hytale theories. Times of panic like this are when we need to be 420x more careful about fake news.
I'd really rather talk about Hytale than this cattle feces, to be honest.

This is mostly a political rant.

I'm calling it the "Wuhan coronavirus", not "COVID-19" which means "Coronavirus Disease 2019". I don't believe it's racist to mention where the virus originated.

In short, I'm currently healthy.

I don't feel like properly organizing the sentences in this post because, to be honest, I'm getting increasingly annoyed about the barrage of Wuhan coronavirus-related content.

Y'all just had to freaking eat bat soup.

Now, while I admit that I mainly got my bat soup information from Paul Joseph Watson, I saw another scientific paper which was written in January 2019 (before the Wuhan coronavirus outbreak) about the links between bats and coronaviruses.

So I'm too lazy to listen to claims that "the coronavirus wasn't caused by bat soup".

Okay, enough raging about bat soup so I don't destroy my punching bag.

So, Metro Manila, the region I live in and the capital region of the Philippines, was quarantined until April 14.

Many malls were closed except for supermarkets and banks. Good thing Mom and I were able to snag some food amidst a mob of panic buyers. Unfortunately, this means I can't go to the gym.

I'm hearing rumors of a curfew on Metro Manila from 8 PM to 5 AM, but I saw a statement from the Communications Secretary that there's no such thing...yet. Fake or not, I'll be extra careful of leaving the house out of fear I might get arrested, regardless of the time of day. I'll only go out when family members or school activities demand I do so. (Unfortunately, I can't invite YoSquid or come to his house for D&D. rip.)

All classes are suspended, though students are still given school work to be done at home. Yes, me included. I hate school work.

As for me protecting myself?

We have reusable masks at home. I think they're made of cotton?

We have a supply of soap and alcohol that I expect will last for 2 months, though I'm worried that the pandemic will go on for a year...as long as numbskulls roam around and refuse to self-isolate.
We've sanitized all our door knobs, light switches, and gadgets.
We've got loads of Vitamin C supplements.

Problem is, our water supply is still routinely "shutting down". I haven't heard from the water company, though I think it said "the water level in the dam is still critical" and "it's trying to gather up water for the upcoming summer season".
CATTLE FECES! I refuse to take a bath where I aimlessly dump a dipper full of water onto my head! A shower allows me to clean my body with more precision and control! Plus, last January and February, it was COLD! Heck, it's even raining sometimes this March!
Then again, I admit, I just strongly prefer water coming out of a faucet. I can't make a good argument for this. The least we do is hoard water.
Screw you, neutral evil grandma, for your excessive use of water. Mom and I can clean stuff just as well with less water and without using my ki or rage.
Edit: The water supply was returned to normal 2 days after I published this post.

I don't understand why YouTube is demonetizing videos with keywords related to the Wuhan coronavirus. Heck, even The Game Theorists titled their video "Who Will Survive [CENSORED] Virus?"
Then again, I reluctantly agree with Anita Sarkeesian's statement "everything is sexist, everything is racist", at least in the perspective of idiots and leftists. By extension, I and everything I do is sexist and racist, but since everything and everyone else is regardless of what they do or believe in, at this point, who cares if I say stuff that doesn't offend a normal person but offends leftists? I'll shove "Wuhan coronavirus" down people's throats whether they like it or not...unless my parents stop me from doing so because they don't like chaotic neutral behavior.

I admit, I've been mostly lonely ever since school started back in January, so the Wuhan coronavirus didn't do much to make it worse. Many of my friends are completely unresponsive to my messages, though they were kind enough to say that they're busy with school. YoSquid is similarly busy, though he still responds in a timely manner for short conversations.
So I'm talking more often with my Singaporean friend Tommy Chan and the Hytale theorist Shadrok. Tommy's getting a good haul of Shiny Pokémon even while stuck at home, while I'm showing him developments to my Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones ROM hack. As for Shadrok, I'm showing him D&D stat blocks for Hytale mobs, and he's liking them.

I took 4 sociology-related courses this trimester, and, while it'll end on April 5, ALL of my courses have final or penultimate (i.e. like a semi-final) assignments requiring case studies or essays about...guess what? The Wuhan coronavirus.
As if having it shoved down my throat by YouTubers and bloggers wasn't enough. Doing school work about the Wuhan coronavirus is the last thing I want to do.
Two of these assignments have the general question which I will roughly paraphrase as "how can you use (sociology strategy) to stop COVID-19?"
I know I'm much lazier than many of my friends and classmates, but hear me out. I don't need complicated, overly detailed strategies to inform people about the coronavirus. All I have to do is tell them simple facts about how the virus works, how to protect oneself, and where I got my information. I don't care if I don't successfully "inspire" large groups of people like I imagine professors expect students to do with their hypothetical strategies. It's up to the individual whether or not they will utilize that information...if they'll even see it because social media services filter content based on what users like or don't like. As long as I inform even one person successfully, I'm happy.
In the end, I'm not a doctor, celebrity, politician, or mass media journalist, and I don't have the expertise, money, or popularity necessary to mass-spread information. I'm just a humble Hytale tactician, and social media is my best weapon.
Edit: The trimester was postponed to April 25.

Speaking of information...
Wash your hands. A study was done where kids in Pakistan who received soap and handwashing promotion had fewer cases of diarrhea and pneumonia than those who didn't have them (Luby et al., 2005).
Wear a mask...especially when you're out of the house. You never know when some stubborn and ignorant fool is actually infected.
(Happy now, professors? I guess not.)

My Real Life Dungeons & Dragons Ability Scores

oh look D&D is becoming one of my blog's secondary topics

You know how I said I'm addicted to predicting my own and others' game traits and stats back in my alignment post? Well, here are my ability scores this time.

Quick Review on D&D Ability Scores

Because my mom didn't fully understand what “chaotic neutral" meant.

D&D ability scores are broad representations of how skilled a character is in particular physical and mental attributes.

Strength (STR) is self-explanatory—a character with high Strength can lift heavier weights, punch harder, etc.

Classes that utilize brute-force physical attacks, like Barbarian, Fighter, Paladin, and Ranger, use Strength.

Dexterity (DEX) measures agility, reflexes, grace of movement, and accuracy with throwing and shooting. A character with high Dexterity can perform acrobatic stunts, dodge out of harm's way, sneak past enemies, and hit difficult targets.

Classes that attack with speed and finesse, like Fighter, Monk, Ranger, and Rogue, use Dexterity.

Constitution (CON) measures stamina and resistance to bodily harm. A character with high Constitution can jog or hold their breath for a long time and can endure strong hits, poisons, diseases, and less ideal temperatures.

All classes benefit from Constitution since it increases their max HP, but barbarians and spellcasters usually benefit the most. Barbarians become much harder to kill while spellcasters are able to maintain their concentration on spells even in the face of distractions.

Intelligence (INT), also called book smarts, determines scientific and historical knowledge and memory recall. A character with high Intelligence can easily remember what influences a natural or cultural event based on science and history, respectively. They can also do mental math quickly.

Classes that use their study and memory to cast spells, like Artificer and Wizard, use Intelligence.

Wisdom (WIS), also called street smarts, is a broad ability that determines perception, animal handling skill, and knowing when someone is lying. A character with high Wisdom can spot small details like a hidden object or the source of a faint sound, get along with animals, aid an injured creature, diagnose diseases and injury, and detect signs of lying through body language.

Classes that commune with gods or nature to cast spells, such as Cleric, Druid, and Ranger, use Wisdom.

Charisma (CHA) determines a character's force of personality. A character with high Charisma can be deceptive, intimidating, persuasive, and skilled at arts like music, dance, and acting.
Classes that use influence or devotion to a cause or patron to cast spells, such as Bard, Paladin, Sorcerer, and Warlock, use Charisma.

The number after an ability score is called a modifier. This is added to the number rolled on a d20 whenever a character makes a corresponding ability check, potentially increasing or decreasing the chance of success. For example, if a character with 12 (+1) Strength gets a 10 on the d20 roll, the player can add +1, making the total 11.
The modifier is determined by the formula (Ability score - 10) / 2, rounded down. Therefore, ability scores of 6 and 7 have a -2 modifier, 8 and 9 have -1, 10 and 11 have 0, 12 and 13 have +1, and so on.

The lowest ability score is 1 (-5).
The human average is 10 (0).
The highest for most D&D adventurers is 20 (+5).
A few adventurers, like Lv. 20 barbarians, can have scores of up to 24 (+7).
The highest for any given creature is 30 (+10).

Okay, enough introduction because I suck at it. Let's go.

Strength: 13 (+1)

It's no surprise that I have a positive modifier on my Strength—I regularly go to the gym. I focus mainly on strength workouts like the bench press because I'm kinda thin (59 kg) for my height (174 cm).

Ironically, I still have noodle arms...unless I either flex them or have an intense workout. I imagine, if I wore a tank top in public and a bad guy saw me and prepared to attack, he'd laugh at first at my noodle arms then be utterly surprised when I hit him hard.
I guess I need more protein.

No claim of big strength is complete without feats to back it up, right?
I regularly bench-press 30 lbs (not counting the barbell's weight) for 2 sets and 12 reps each, though sometimes I step it up to 3 sets while raging or thinking of romance.
I regularly carry two metal doors that are 8 feet tall. I'm wild-guessing they're 10 kg.
I've carried 25 lbs in my backpack while jogging on a treadmill.
On the first day of my family's second Singapore trip, I carried a total of 5.75 kg on my shoulders for hours while we were making our way to the hotel—that weight included my tablet, DSLR camera, and Nintendo 3DS.

I need to work on being strong enough to carry a 45 kg sack of rice by myself—I still need help from a second person (usually an average Joe) to do so.
I can't beat my younger brother Ivann in arm wrestling, thumb wrestling, and sumo wrestling. When doing WWE-style wrestling, I rely more on quick strikes than grapples, which Ivann specializes in.

I think I'm the second strongest in the family. I beat Dad in a bench press competition where Dad lifted 20 kg at 5 reps while I lifted the same weight for 7 reps. All of us know the proper technique for boxing, but I hit the punching bag the hardest. I can do up to 6 pull-ups while my other family members can only do 1. When transporting groceries, I can carry up to 4 full grocery bags while my other family members typically carry 2.
Ivann is stronger than me though because he can bench-press 30 lbs for 3 sets and 15 reps each, plus the aforementioned wrestling domination. On the other hand, he openly complains about carrying heavy weights that I can lift without complaining.

If I were to punch an average Joe as hard as I could without using the techniques I learned in martial arts, the average Joe would most likely scream in pain.
But punching with technique allows me to hit harder and with more finesse, which is where the next ability score comes in:

Dexterity: 15 (+2)

I am very proud to have Dexterity as my ability with the highest ability score. It has saved my life many times, including but not limited to dodging out of the way of a bus while I was on a pedestrian lane, breaking the falls of fragile objects, blocking the crooked fingers of beggars, and submitting school work whose deadlines were a few minutes away.

It's no surprise that most of my Dexterity comes from my experience in boxing and, to a lesser extent, gaming. Quick reactions are important to dodge punches, exploit weaknesses in opponents' defenses, and stealth-kill that one annoying player.

It is taught in boxing that a punch's power comes not only from the arm, but also the hips and legs, so twisting the hips is important when throwing a punch. Because the legs are far stronger and thicker than the arms, I'm able to punch fast and hard while keeping my arms relatively relaxed, and why I use Dexterity as my damage-dealing ability with finesse weapons, monk weapons, and unarmed strikes.

Besides punching and typing, I can perform several other feats associated with Dexterity.
I can perform cartwheels and diverolls.
On a bicycle, I think the longest I've moved without holding the handlebars is 3 seconds—I need to work on that. Besides that, I can perform sharp turns.
I once "planted" a cardboard sword inside my former crush's mom's bag.
When holding onto the change I predict for a customer, I can keep it hidden by only showing the back of my palm while keeping a loose grip to create the illusion of a relaxed hand.
As stated in "How I Kill Mosquitoes, Flies, and Cockroaches", I mainly use my bare hands to kill bugs rather than insecticide. I've gotten better at killing flies since I wrote that post--they used to be impossible for me to kill.
I've snuck up on my mom while she was cooking. I frequently sneak behind the Gold's Gym trainers and playfully "stab" them with an imaginary dagger, and they're chill with it.

I think I have the highest Dexterity in my family. As far as I know, I'm the only one who regularly sneaks around or does stunts. I once blocked both of my mom's arms...with one arm. I punch the fastest in the family.
Many of my family members have Dexterity scores between 10 (0) and 13 (+1). Mom and my brothers have quick hands so, when I'm not paying attention, they easily sneak-attack me or swipe my stuff. Aside from being a former basketball player, I haven't seen Dad perform any feats of agility or accuracy. My big brother moves the slowest and throws the least accurately in dodgeball, so dodging his throws was not challenging for me at all while I pummeled him to the max.
By extension, I also have the highest Armor Class of all my family members while unarmored...even without the barbarian's Unarmored Defense. (If I'm forced to use the monk's Unarmored Defense, my Armor Class would be on par with my other family members.)

However, I need to work on quickly counting money or dealing cards. I have atopic dermatitis, which makes my hands dry and difficult to use for sliding motions like flipping book pages. Along with not being able to pickpocket, these are why I didn't give myself proficiency in Sleight of Hand.
I also need to work on my aim. I can't properly do 3-point shots or free throws in basketball, I still completely miss the target in archery and darts, and I got "killed" in all my Nerf wars.

Right now, I'm practicing speed-multitasking, mostly by making my two hands do different things simultaneously. I can easily move one hand in a circular motion and the other in a square motion, for example, but I need to work on playing Fire Emblem Heroes while blogging.
This skill could eventually be useful when I practice dual-wielding in real life. Two tree branches are better than one.

Funny thing is, the Intimidation skill is normally associated with Charisma, and the variant rule for skills with different abilities mentions using Strength for Intimidation. But guess what I use for Intimidation? Dexterity.
Yes, I unintentionally scare people off with my above-average agility, usually the elderly, but also my former crush who's one year younger than me.

Constitution: 12 (+1)

This is also weird, again considering my light weight. One would think there's not enough fat to cushion my bones when I take damage, but they'd be wrong—I make up for it in muscle mass.

Funny thing is, I've had asthma before and I still get the occasional common cold, so I thought I'd have awfully low stamina...at least until I got used to sneakily jogging to the gym instead of taking public transport. I hate spending money.
Nowadays, I can jog 1 km under bright sunlight while carrying my 1 kg sling bag (including contents) without stopping...except for when I have to cross the road. Bad drivers be everywhere, lads.
Heck, when I was 15 years old, I was once dropped off by a jeepney (a Philippine public vehicle that resembles a World War II jeep but longer, with a roof, and often with drawings) on a location that was approximately 6 km away from my home. I didn't want to spend any more money, so I walked all the way home.

Being frequently subjected to physical pain throughout my life, from accidentally bumping a wall to being intentionally slapped with a belt to being held in a rage-powered chokehold to even being bumped by a bicycle, has probably contributed to my increased resistance to damage, combined with my boxing training. I'm the only family member with noticeable six-pack abs even when not flexing, so I react very little when punched in the gut.
I don't let pain get in the way of my tasks, so when I hit something like a wall, instead of screaming and stopping to grasp the bruised body part, I just let out a small grunt (or sometimes not make any sound) then continue doing my task as if nothing happened, and others don't notice I got hurt. Heck, when I drafted this, no one knew that my knuckles hurt for about a month because I accidentally punched the thick metal chain holding up my punching bag. (They're okay now.)
This is why I multiclassed into Barbarian: besides my bad anger issues, I am surprisingly durable for my weight. I am difficult to hit thanks to my high Dexterity, and when I do get hit, I hardly feel it. (Barbarians' Unarmored Defense lets them add their Constitution modifier to their Armor Class.)

I hated eating eggs on their own since childhood. When I was 15 years old, I was given a punishment of being forced to eat scrambled eggs for lunch. I resisted the urge to vomit and was able to finish my plate. (I like pancakes, though, which have eggs as part of the ingredients. Don't judge me--jk you can (intentional bad grammar))
I attended a wedding where we ate at a fancy restaurant that served bitter-tasting sauce in the food...and unfortunately, I rage quit. I did get at least 3 spoonfuls though, so no one can accuse me of "not eating the food".
But probably my worst experience of eating unpleasant-tasting food was...eating rotten eggplants. I once forgot to put the eggplants in the fridge while Mom and Dad were away, so to attempt to cover up the evidence like the rogue I am, I ate about half of them in 2 servings before giving up and throwing them in the trash. I didn't get sick afterwards...and I never got caught.

As a result, I have the highest Constitution score in the family. None of my family members can take a punch, at least from me. (At least YoSquid can do so to a small extent.) I beat my dad in a 5 km race with stationary bikes. Perhaps, alongside my loyalty, responsibility, and roguish handiness, my high Constitution is the reason why I'm given many physical tasks by my family members. (Note: I'm only loyal and responsible for my family because I want to be left alone.)
I rarely complain nowadays about feeling hot or cold (unless asked) but still show obvious signs of discomfort such as blowing inside my shirt when feeling hot or shivering when feeling cold. Fortunately, mildly unpleasant temperatures rarely interfere with my work...unless it's firetrucking school work where I require an absolutely perfect temperature.
Ivann never complains about being hot or cold and never shows signs except sweating in the heat. However, he's often the first to end a workout session--he often goes high-intensity for just 30 minutes while I go medium-intensity for 2 hours or more.
In one sitting, I can eat up to 5 slices of a 14-inch pizza, while, if I'm not mistaken, Ivann can eat a whole pizza. My parents get stuffed after eating 2 or 3 slices.

What I need to work on are holding my breath underwater (which I usually do for 5 seconds casually and 15 seconds competitively) and enduring cold temperatures. I'm used to temperatures above 30 degrees Celsius, so 25 or less is enough to "freeze" me.
My family members are able to touch the tips of flames, but I don't dare.
When I stand still like a member of the Queen's Guard, my niece tickles me, causing me to jump.

Intelligence: 14 (+2)

This ability used to have my highest ability score—maybe 12 (+1)—when I was a kid. I was considered a "prodigy" by my pediatrician because I was able to read by 2 years old, I intuitively learned how to use a computer and how to play video games (with some help from my big brother), and I fiddled with people's cellphones. Math was my favorite school subject at the time—I loved numbers and we had a poster with multiplication tables at home. I was able to accurately draw the letters that my preschool teacher drew, which is why I had surprisingly legible handwriting. (My handwriting is still very legible--perhaps more than most adults. I don't write in cursive, which I struggle to read. Instead, my handwriting looks like something straight out of a computer, as I was told back in 4th grade when my handwriting became much closer to my current handwriting.)

Prepare for some present-day brain flexing.
I almost always do mental math when processing transactions at my family store since I want to flex my math skills on the customers. (Picking up a calculator would be too much extra work for my laziness.)
I've always helped the family with technical problems as a kid, and I still do it now. Can't beat a boss? Use this attack. Not sure what formula to use in Microsoft Excel? Gotcha covered. Can't find a file? Lucky for you, I remember the file name so I can easily search it.
I often remember frequent customers' usual orders, even if I haven't asked them their names. I just rely on their facial features, hair, clothing, and phone models to jog my memory, then they get surprised when I ask them if they're gonna order what I thought they'd order.
I memorize...too many juicy details about Hytale, including the team's Tweets. Yeah, Simon, I remember you posted that meme of frogs representing the Fire Emblem weapon triangle.
Some readers might guess immediately that I'd have high Intelligence judging by how long my blog posts are, but it's mostly just me. I enjoy acting like a teacher when I write blog posts—I mean, just look at all my posts with the "strategy" or "tactics" tags.

I still have many memories of my childhood.
The earliest memory I can recall is when I, as a baby, enjoyed staring at the label of a bottle of prune juice.
I still have vague photographic representations of the house we lived in before moving to my paternal grandma's house when I was 8 years old. I also remember the approximate positions of the furniture and how we used them—I can visualize me and my younger brother jumping off the top of a drawer or side table while wrestling on a bed.
I'd state more but doing so would make this post far too long.

I'm usually lazy to take notes, especially in school work. Instead, I write graffiti on my textbooks and PDF files to represent my reaction to a particular piece of text or how I would interpret the text differently. The rest of the information gets "saved" in my brain.
I only take notes for huge piles of information (usually those unrelated to school work) like tactical plans. This is another reason why I started this blog: it serves as a repository for the intricate tactics I've built over many months.
As the Dungeon Master, I only take notes when running Dynasty Warriors-size encounters. The rest of the notes I placed on my DM screen are mainly for other DMs.

Unfortunately, there are several things about my intelligence which I need to work on.
I often forget the exact statements of others and myself, so I often have to make a rough paraphrase. This is annoying when I get told to say "exactly what you/they said".
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with multiple commands or personal agenda to the point that, upon completing one task, I forget about all other tasks. Combined with my chaotic neutral alignment causing me to focus more on working for myself than what society or authority expects me to do, I often get figurative "wanted levels" for laziness.
Worst of all, I HATE school work, so I often "dispose" of information from prescribed educational materials—many of them are big walls of text flooded with jargon and, as one of the traits in the sage background says, "use polysyllabic words that convey the impression of great erudition." I get that professors want to teach the values of "hard work" and "reading comprehension" to their students, but fudge it all! I'd rather play D&D or multiplayer games to teach me those things!

All my family members have high Intelligence scores, but I'm not entirely sure how I'd rank myself. I know most about tech and grammar, my younger brother knows most about law, history, politics, and religion, my dad and older brother are engineers, and my mom knows most about business.
If I had to guess, I'm probably in the middle. When I put my mind into something, I can learn it easily...with the help of a friendly and smart teacher, of course. I am often tasked to find something that a family member lost, and I often find the lost items successfully. On the other hand, while I often remember complex details and forget simple ones, my parents remember simple details and forget many complex ones except those related to their jobs or faith. I dislike debates which I often lose because #1, I can't remember the sources of my counterarguments; #2, I'm not in authority, so even if I have the superior narrative, I can still lose because I have to "submit to authority", and #3, I don't care about winning; I just want to be left alone.

Wisdom: 8 (-1)

Where do I even start? Wisdom is associated with a wide variety of skills.

I've played video games so much that I've become near-sighted. While Mom relies on me to read the words on her smartphone when she doesn't have glasses, I have difficulty seeing important and distant objects like street signs while others spot them easily.

My sense of hearing has also been damaged from wearing headphones too often, so I sometimes mistake a woman's distant mumbling voice for my mom calling me. When not wearing headphones, I often rely on subtitles in videos (especially considering how our house is so small and adjacent to a busy road that noises from the road can easily be heard from the bedrooms).
Then again, when wearing headphones during video games, I am often the first to alert my teammates to threatening noises which could indicate the presence of an enemy or environment hazard.
Also, because I'm a light sleeper, I'm attentive to outside events even though I haven't fully awakened. Sometimes, I get disturbed because of a light bulb being turned on near me or the mention of my name.

I generally dislike non-human animals—I find them gross and I get paranoid of them potentially biting or scratching me.
The only reason why I can scare our family dog by raising my flip-flop in the air is because my parents have actually spanked our dog with flip-flops. Other than that, she always tries to play with me by biting my flip-flop or grabbing my waist with her paws.

I don't know much about diseases in general, but thankfully, I know several frequently-mentioned ways to treat symptoms of illness or prevent diseases, including drinking lots of water, washing hands with soap and water, wearing a mask, and covering the mouth when sneezing or coughing.
Usually, when someone gets sick, I am quick to search resources like the Internet. I also installed the Offline Survival Manual app by ligi.
I always carry anti-itch ointment, insect repellent, moisturizing cream, and bandages in my bag...even in situations where I'm unlikely to encounter an injury.
Side note: I imagine that I rely more on Intelligence than Wisdom for making Medicine checks since I try to remember medical techniques, but I guess Medicine uses Wisdom in D&D because Wisdom is associated with Cleric, a class that's built for healing.

Actually, I'm still gullible even now, especially during social interaction.
When I was 10 years old, I think I fell for some misinformation related to the Facebook game Pet Society, but I can't remember exactly what the statement was.
I am often quick to accept statements made by who I consider reputable sources, usually those whose political beliefs align with mine.
I still get pranked by my younger brother, like when he poked me and immediately hid while I was gaming.

Unsurprisingly, I have the lowest Wisdom score in my family. Sometimes, my family members would point me to the approximate location of an object but I can't find it even if it's just a few inches away. Besides my big brother who doesn't count because he doesn't live with us, I can't discipline our "crazy dog".
Ivann and Mom are both dog persons. Mom had many dogs as a kid, and our crazy dog loves Ivann the most--she often licks him, while she escapes all my attempts to carry her using her strong flailing and sharp claws.
I admit that Ivann almost always wears glasses and can barely see anything without them, but he often notices tiny details that everyone else misses.
I'll lazily assume Dad has average Wisdom. He's taken ROTC and he's had fieldwork in the middle of the ocean, so he may have some Survival skill. On the other hand, he's gullible--he's easier to troll than Mom since he's more prone to fits of strong emotion, and he can't see when I'm unwilling to do him a favor unless someone else, usually my mom, explicitly says so.

Then again, I know a decent amount about book, movie, and video game tropes to the point where, 50% of the time, I accurately predict what would happen about a minute or a few pages later. But does that mean I use Intelligence instead of Wisdom since I rely on memory?

Less "refined" strangers have a bad habit of asking me sensitive questions like where I live or if I have a girlfriend, to which I reply the simple yet powerful question every scientist and journalist should ask: "Why?"
And no, I don't have a girlfriend...but I want one. But before I call it official, I have to study as much of a girl's life and personality as I legally can.

BoltOLightnin often comes to me for life advice, and while I am far from even being an amateur life coach, I just echo Mark Manson's "don't give a fuck" advice. (I know he isn't a psychologist, but he's crazy smart nonetheless. He reads a ton and has a degree in international relations, something which still boggles my brain.)

Charisma: 12 (+1)

Funny thing is, this was my dump stat when I was a kid—I think it was 6 (-2). I was very shy around kids my age and had no idea what to say or how to adapt to their personality quirks—I only talked to adults. I almost always told the truth even if it was unnecessary.
During my preschool graduation, kids were made to dance in costumes. I was dressed as a butterfly for some reason, and instead of dancing, I wandered around the stage in a boring walk, completely unaware of what's going on.
The only "charismatic" skill I knew I had as a kid was the ability to mimic a lot of different voices, but that had no helpful effect other than my parents often telling me to "stop imitating".

I improved my Charisma very slowly at first, but I learned faster and faster afterwards.
My first true attempt at public speaking was at 5th grade when I forgot to bring my script but accurately memorized it without cracking my voice or showing signs of shyness.
At 8th grade, I tutored my former crush in math after being inspired by my big brother's use of video game concepts in teaching me algebra.
At 9th grade, I was almost always the first to raise my hand during class. Every time, I explained my answer with a strong, clear voice to give the impression of confidence.
On my 2nd year of college, I founded my Minecraft team, Lunatic Blade. As leader, I often motivated my teammates, gave them tips, and subtlely mocked the enemy with honorable statements like "gg".
On late 2019, I made two friends in college, one of which is a girl I will give the fake name "Allison", and the other being Ghean, who introduced me to Dungeons & Dragons. Sometimes, I'm the Dungeon Master for YoSquid and my younger brother.

Thanks to my acting ability, I can maintain realistic body language and voice even when telling lies. I once told my mom I couldn't find her glasses, complete with a quiet, bored, and tired voice, when I actually had the glasses behind my back.
If I ever get asked again how rich I am, I'll try acting like I get tired of helping my "jobless" parents. (Actually, my dad is a government employee. My mom is self-employed.)

I admit, though, that I've screwed up a recent public speaking attempt. I'm taking a short course on game development, and one of the activities was to form groups to conceptualize our own video games and present our ideas to the rest of the class. I let my partner do most of the talking since he built most of the foundation of the game concept while I added a few supporting ideas, so I wasn't confident that I could properly describe the game. Funny thing is, I agreed to be the one to start the presentation thanks to a dice roll.
His idea was to make a typing practice game, but I thought that idea was overdone, so I gave it a twist: instead of words in a natural language, we make the words resemble a programming language. The main gameplay was about "re-programming" the environment and monsters to suit the player's needs, like entering a function called mindGlitch(); to instantly make a monster stupid. In the middle of the presentation, we were asked, "How do you defeat an enemy?" and I was able to state the mind-glitching idea decently well. "You could make an enemy bump into a wall all day or make it do a 360 dance to get it out of your way," I said.

Some may argue that I have high Charisma (maybe a +2 modifier) because, again, I'm a blogger and I'm usually not shy to share my thoughts in public. I once built up the courage to message Shadrok on Twitter and advertise my Hytale gang wars series. Afterwards, he said he loves my passion. (Permission to say this was obtained from Shadrok.)
Then again, it might be just me. Ability scores can be subjective, especially the mental ones (Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma).

Regardless, I think I'm tied with my dad for the lowest Charisma score in the family. I'm deceptive, but not as deceptive as my younger brother. All my other family members are intimidating with their voice, authority, and body language, while I rely heavily on my Strength and Dexterity to intimidate. I don't know how to play any musical instruments, and I don't have any actual acting experience while my younger brother has done short films in school. For Persuasion, I rely more on my Intelligence because I prefer to state facts, and unlike opinions, facts are infallible.
As far as I know, my dad never tells lies—he avoids them like the plague (unless he's misinformed). He never pulls pranks. Even though he can easily intimidate strangers, he can't scare any of his family members with his words (even though he insults and swears excessively when angry), so he instead relies on Strength by breaking things.

TL;DR summary:
Strength: 13 (+1). I've done some crazy physical challenges like running with 25 lbs on my back.
Dexterity: 15 (+2). I'm difficult to hit and I attack with speed and finesse.
Constitution: 12 (+1). Being punched barely hurts me. I can withstand being under direct sunlight.
Intelligence: 14 (+2). I can do mental math easily and I know too many things about Hytale.
Wisdom: 8 (-1). I have a hard time seeing or hearing obvious details and I'm gullible.
Charisma: 12 (+1). I am usually not shy in public speaking and I often troll my parents.

My Real Life Dungeons & Dragons Alignment and How It Changes

Okay, I know that alignment is a controversial topic in Dungeons & Dragons, especially with instances like a chaotic neutral character (someone who cares only about their own freedom) acting like a chaotic evil character (someone who commits evil acts with little to no regard for the consequences). Alignment is largely unimportant for player characters besides super specific situations like using certain magic items.
But I like alignment anyway and try to roleplay my characters' alignments as best I can. My chaotic good high elf wizard is a fun roleplay challenge because there can be moral conflicts where I have to suppress his urge to break the law in order to do good.

I'm addicted to identifying people, including myself, based on traits from games and personality tests. These include The Sims traits and the DISC personalities. And Dungeons & Dragons alignments are no different.
Every time I see a character in media like books or movies, thoughts pop into my mind as the character interacts with others and the world, including, "Huh, while fighting is against school rules, I respect this guy for defending the innocent nerd from the bully. That act is probably chaotic good."
Side note: I also predict others' game stats. For example, I have higher Dexterity than my boxing trainer, Coach G-Force, since I block and hit faster and more accurately than him. Popular girls in movies usually have high Charisma.

Quick Review on D&D Alignment

D&D alignments are based on a creature's behavior towards ethics (law and chaos) and morals (good and evil). Every alignment is a combination of those two things.

For example, a lawful good creature does good things in accordance with law or tradition, while a chaotic evil creature disregards rules as it freely commits evil acts.

Neutral creatures don't lean strongly towards either ethics, morals, or both. There's neutral good, neutral evil, lawful neutral, chaotic neutral, and neutral (also called "true neutral").

TV Tropes has extended descriptions of each of the nine alignments and examples of characters with such alignments.

But first, a flashback...

I was probably chaotic neutral during my childhood. Mom said that I roamed around a LOT while celebrating Mass, sometimes to the point of getting very close to the priest. I disliked weird or ugly-looking people even if I had no idea about their personality. I often hummed video game music, even in public. I refused to accept imperfect scores in school work, and, if I remember correctly, my teachers let me repeat the school work I struggled in.

I began my transition to chaotic evil in first grade when I realized I wanted friends but didn't have them. (That said, I didn't make any effort, even though I had a crush on someone at the time.) I didn't like studying--I didn't understand some of the textbooks, especially the ones about reading comprehension. One of my teachers was hospitalized for high blood pressure because he got stressed while chasing me as I ran through the hallways during class. I once sneakily looked at a teacher's answer key because I didn't understand dividing numbers...and got caught doing so. I was frequently sent to the disciplinarian's office, and I hated the word "discipline" ever since.
Makes me wonder why, when I met my old school principal in a department store when I was a somewhat older kid, she was happy to see me. Maybe she remembered my perfectionism and the time I helped a teacher read her phone's messages?
After second grade, when I was 8 years old, I was transferred to another school.

I was fully chaotic evil from 9 to 14 years old. I still had no real friends before I hit 14 years old (when I met YoSquid through a common interest in Minecraft) and rarely participated in class because I kept thinking the lectures were way too easy for my high Intelligence to be properly challenged. So I frequently vented my anger or boredom out on adults, including but not limited to teachers and their assistants.
Did you know I was a school bully at 9 and 10 years old? There was a kid who I personally disliked because I thought his chubbiness and handwriting were "ugly", and I whimsically punched him for no other reason. There was a kid who I disliked because he spread misinformation about the games I played, including the Facebook game Pet Society. I even shouted "You stink!" at random strangers out of nowhere.
This age group is also where I got the most video game bans, which mostly added fuel to my chaotic evil. I often tried to evade the bans by searching the house for my video games and successfully guessing others' passwords.
I think Mom would argue that this evil was due to being verbally abused by my paternal grandma, usually when I trashed its living room by throwing pillows at my brother while playing. My brother and I "fought back" by teasing it and its maid with obnoxious sound effects like slamming a thick hardcover book shut or shouting lines from novels. For crying out loud, "gramma", I was the one who let you know you had guests or a caller on your phone while your lazy-bones maid was asleep!
Regardless, I have a weird fear now that at least one of the kids I've bullied will grow into an animator/vlogger and talk about how a particular strangely good-looking kid terrorized their school or otherwise did weird video game-style stunts.

I steadily got less evil (I think) when I reached 15 years old. Major life events at this age included being more engaged with my studies, learning to write good essays, and gaining a greater mastery of boxing (note that I started training at 14 years old). Those distracted me--for the most part--from committing evil acts, but I don't think I did any significant good things--at least from what I can remember--other than being Mom's marketing adviser, graphic designer, and technical director. I may have committed a few minor acts of chaos in the boxing gym I trained in, such as doing WWE moves on the boxing ring, but never any evil acts.
Bits of evil still remained, though, such as when I put my forearm near a classmate's neck as if I was about to slit his throat with a sword when he asked me a stupid question--what was it, am I good at English? (Note that I've obviously showcased my English skills to others in that school before. Also, I was once asked by an adult--when I was 20 years old!--if I know how to read when the other person has clearly seen my Facebook posts and blog posts before.)
I completely screwed up a secretly romantic date on my 17th birthday. The girl I was "dating" is not a gamer, yet I invited her to the arcade since I thought food dates are pointless and not memorable, then she got rekt in a few minutes. Afterwards, we chased each other at very high speeds in the mall, starting with her going up an escalator going downwards, then both of us sprinting all over the hallways where she probably went 15 km/h and I went 16 km/h, eventually leading to me outrunning her and getting both of us lost. At one point, I once again attempted to "block" her pat on my shoulder with a karate chop since I was practicing vigilance, and that's when she got really scared of me. (Strangely, she was impressed when I actually blocked her patting in school.)
So I'd say I started becoming chaotic neutral at 15 years old, but I was still far away from any good alignment.

The Present

Right now, I can confidently say that I'm chaotic neutral, starting when I reached 19 years old. A lot of life events got me into losing most of my evil alignment, including being slightly more tolerant of others' opinions and freedom, being friends with BoltOLightnin (at 18 years old) and two of my classmates (at 20 years old), and starting my blog, which I use right now to give people inspiration for tackling life and video game tactics through personal stories (and my recent comedy post, Tactical Uses of Hytale Poop).
I still frequently show dislike towards some rules and traditions. These shows of dislike include incessantly ranting against school work on my blog and Facebook posts, running on the streets when I should be walking like everyone else (even when I don't intend to work out), leaving my family store open past midnight while Mom and Dad are gone so I can write blog posts and get late-night customers, and enjoying stereotypically "kid only" media like cartoons and Minecraft. (And no, I don't play with Minecraft blocks like a kid fiddling about with Lego bricks. I chase dreams of conquest and power by killing all who stand in my way.)
As for moral neutrality, I think it's not "true" neutrality; more like good and evil acts canceling each other out like algebra. For good acts, sometimes I prank my parents into believing I haven't done what they told me to do or I screwed up a task when I did a task well in reality. I help random strangers with their phones' problems or use my speed to catch a ball that went out of bounds. I gave bandages to a food kiosk saleslady and a...rather demanding customer. When a relationship controversy erupted between Mom and Dad, my brothers and I sort of brought them back together--I, in particular, encouraged them to compliment each other more often and spend more chill time. For evil acts, I am VERY lazy, and I still snap angrily at people when they ask me stupid or quickly repeated questions or bother me too much while I'm busy and I've told them before. (To the friends I've raged at because I was busy: I'm sorry. I wanted to make time for you, but life happens. School work, you can eat my [CENSORED].)

Dungeon Mastering

Note that I still consider myself new to being a DM, even though I've played 3 serious full-length sessions plus a handful of less serious ones. pls don't be too harsh about my DMing skills--jk you can (intentional bad grammar)

I generally prefer to stick to the rules, though I don't mind letting players do crazy rule-breaking stunts like when YoSquid the eladrin fighter used misty step to teleport above a monster then use that same bonus action to deliver an elbow drop that dealt 1d4 damage. (We're both WWE fans.)

I'm the kind of DM who likes sticking to video game tropes and making my players feel like superheroes, so I put gold in the pockets of many monsters and regularly give them Pokémon-style random encounters with large numbers of weak monsters, some of which like to lazily hang out near campfires so they're easy to sneak up on for a surprise attack. (HeadsHoKer, YoSquid, and I have played Assassin's Creed.)
There's a wall in the adventure Dragon of Icespire Peak which normally takes 40 hours to destroy by hand, but I'm planning to let my players take 10 minutes instead since YoSquid has a war pick--there's my Minecraft influence.

I even say things like "u dead!" and "It's super effective! The wild SKELETON was brutally murdered!"

When I roleplay NPCs, I stay true to their personalities as much as I can, even during combat. In Dragon of Icespire Peak, Townmaster Harbin Wester didn't dare let anyone enter his office due to fear of the dragon villain. HeadsHoKer the human paladin insisted on getting inside, so I made Harbin Wester say, "No, I'm still not letting you in! You might be someone sent by the dragon to kill me!"

In combat, I often have intelligent creatures attack the character who annoyed them the most. In a battle against 3 orcs, HeadsHoKer insta-killed 2 with his Divine Smite, so the last orc prioritized HeadsHoKer to take revenge.

I'd say I'm a neutral DM. I sometimes do realistically bad stuff to the players and I don't always stick to the rules, but I make every combat encounter an opportunity to let players feel the sheer joy of freely unleashing destruction.

Playing D&D

I usually play as a self-insert character named Lunatic Tactician (yes, with a space), a chaotic neutral rogue/monk/barbarian.

Before any other DMs get mad at me for playing this controversial alignment, let me say that first of all, I try to avoid playing too close to chaotic evil. LT craves opportunities to act like a superhero for fun, so he once rescued a group of knights by backstabbing bandits. When he found a pair of dwarves lost in a desert, LT helped them find their way back to town with the map he bought recently.
Though LT has been arrested for faking an alliance with a bandit leader and for giving a rude gesture to a warden. He's also a wanted criminal in other places for stealing from a monastery and assaulting town guards.
Then again, he's not a murder hobo, and I try not to be a murder hobo with any of my characters unless the DM states we're doing an evil campaign where murder-hoboing is allowed. At the very least, if a non-villainous NPC makes my character angry, my character would go for a KO rather than a kill.

Usually, I go along with the DM's story. When I have no idea what to do in a new town, I ask random NPCs to introduce me to the town and hopefully give me a quest.

Then again, I sometimes look for crazy ways to finish a quest, such as the fake alliance I mentioned earlier where LT's goal was to backstab the bandits while they had trust in him, or when my high elf wizard, Lunaran Tealeaf, tried to finish three quests quickly by delaying pirates with fake treasure and hit-and-run tactics before moving to the main quest of culling rabid dogs. Neither of those crazy tactics worked.

One time when Lunaran "woke up" in the magic academy, he heard of news from an innkeeper that the nation was going to war against orcs, and only the nation's knights were allowed to participate--no adventurers allowed, in other words. Because he was concerned for the knights' safety and morale, and because he was a former soldier, Lunaran looked for ways to help the knights in small ways--he asked for intel about the enemy, thought of setting up a minor illusion to fool the enemy, and convinced the knights to let him join the army. He wasn't allowed to participate and was banned from the magic academy--I guess some archwizard in the government read his mind.

I try to be supportive of other players. When I notice an ally is struggling to hit an enemy, I use the Help action to make their attacks more likely to hit. Sometimes, I let other players make decisions for the party before I do, then adapt accordingly.

There was this one time when HeadsHoKer was trapped in a room with a mimic (a monster that can disguise as objects) while I, as LT, was separated from them by a wooden door that appeared out of nowhere and was shut tightly. YoSquid, the DM at the time, kept telling me to leave the door and explore the dungeon further, but I insisted on getting through the door as I got super high rolls for my attacks and Strength (Athletics) checks to destroy the door with my super-strong shoulder tackles and a giant rock (LT has 17 Strength--I randomly roll for my characters' ability scores), but only succeeded after I pierced the door with my adamantine spear, which I figured out after 6 turns. (YoSquid said that the door is impossible to lockpick.)
(I chose not to use my spear at first because I thought piercing a wooden door would only open a small hole, while dealing bludgeoning damage would completely disintegrate the entire door. I wonder what went on in YoSquid's mind...)

When playing LT, I have a bad habit of being both the heavy hitter and problem-solver. Sneak-attacking then performing a Flurry of Blows while raging sometimes lets me deal more than 50 damage in one turn. I have expertise in Investigation and Survival so I almost always succeed on ability checks with those skills.

I laugh the least as both a player and a DM while the others laugh so loudly and sometimes tease each other playfully. I typically play it cool when I'm not in a dramatic moment like inflicting a critical hit or smack-talking the bad guys.

I think I'm a neutral player. I don't always go along with what the DM or their NPCs expect me to do, instead preferring to find creative ways to solve problems. Because of my characters' high ability scores (Lunaran has 18 Dexterity and 16 Intelligence) and proficiencies in many useful skills, I do the most work and highest damage in the party to the point where the other players feel "left out"...though, in my defense, I don't like to risk failure by letting someone do what I can do better. Then again, I know missing attacks or failing ability checks can be a huge bummer so I sometimes use the Help action.
Also, I'm interested to play a support class like Bard or Cleric at some point, though I have yet to make characters with such a class. I'm focused on developing the character traits of LT and Lunaran.

Real Life Fighting

It is often taught in martial arts that it's better to escape a fight than fight back. But, since I'm chaotic and I don't give a firetruck, I say I'd be more than happy to KO someone who tries to commit an obvious crime to me or someone else, even if I have the chance to run away. I'll only run away if the criminal has a firearm, bladed weapon, or fighting animal like a dog--I'm terrified of them.

In sparring, I know I'm a cut above the average Joe, so I tone down my power and speed when I face an opponent who is either weaker than me or is someone whose skill I don't know, since my goals are to have fun and to help each other learn to fight better.
Against more powerful opponents like Coach G-Force, though, I hold nothing back and fight as if I'm at war (minus the dirty tactics). I'd be happy to knock them out, but I'd try not to severely injure them either.

In street fights, I generally prefer to fight fair due to my fear of blood. I avoid striking super weak points like the groin or neck, instead preferring to strike the head and abdomen with my fists and blunt weapons. The police can take care of the rest once I'm done with these fools.
If I'm greatly outmatched and can't run away or I have a friend or innocent person in trouble, I will fight to the death using dirty tactics and extreme prejudice. I'd activate my barbarian rage then chip away the enemy with rapid blade (for one or two human enemies) or hammerfist (for three or more human enemies or any number of non-human enemies like cars and animals) attacks, choke an enemy and use it as a human shield, and bang enemies onto the environment or each other. I'd disable their senses by gouging their eyes out and screeching at their ears then disable their ability to move by pummeling their legs with a blunt weapon so I and the people I'm rescuing can escape more easily--just please don't have blindsight or juggernaut abilities.

In conclusion, I'm neutral good against friends, neutral when fighting fair against criminals, and chaotic evil when desperate.

Parents

Note that I'm not saying I hate parents or you should hate parents. In fact, many parents I've met are friendly fountains of wisdom.

My parents often call me out for the chaotic cattle feces I do, including the whole running thing. Like any responsible parent, they're tough about it, and yes, even minor "crimes" are accompanied by long lectures.

When I talk to them about video games or a personal rant, I wrongfully assume that they'll respond like a chill friend. Instead, they respond with authority and, in the case of video games, change the topic to my studies or behavior: two topics that I HATE talking about with anyone in authority.

"Hytale using memes is a superior marketing strategy."

"And you should focus on your studies and change your attitude or you'll never be a good businessman." (exaggeration)

I admit that I easily get offended, which is why I sometimes don't talk with my parents unless it's important or they start a conversation, thinking that whatever "fun" cattle feces I start will turn into a complete dumpster fire.

When they tell me I can choose the restaurant to eat in, I say something like "no, you choose" out of fear that my choice is too "unhealthy", "expensive", or "the same thing all over again". Usually, they insist I choose, so I reluctantly choose a restaurant that does not fit any of the previous three descriptions.

But my chaotic tendencies can't help but kick in. When Dad tells me to pick up an item he lazily left behind--usually in a place that would make Mom rage--I lazily tell him, "Get it yourself, fat boi!"

When told to do physical work though, assuming I'm not lazy, I do it with alarmingly excellent performance.
Most of the dishes I wash are spotless and smell like they've never been touched at all by food.
When lifting heavy loads, I do it with absurd speed. I can jog while carrying 25 lbs worth of goods. I can exceed 20 km/h on a bicycle while carrying a loaded backpack, assuming a flat road. Mom gets dismayed every time I get home earlier than expected.

Sometimes, I charge my parents' phones while they're asleep. It's annoying when my parents can't respond to emergencies because they need to charge their phones.

In conclusion, with parents, I act neutral. As soon as I'm 100% sure that my parents aren't watching me, I revert to being chaotic neutral.

Close Friends

What I really like about close friends (or at least the ones I have right now) is that, even though they encourage their friends to have the best lives they possibly can, they are also chill with their friends' freedom.

Even if I were to rant to my friends about my most disturbing cattle feces in life, the worst I think they would say is, "I want to help, but you're ranting a bit excessively. Maybe we should talk about something else. Hope you can find a solution to your problem soon."

That said, while I'm more likely to rant about my problems to friends rather than my parents, I'm not an uncaring savage (except to my sworn enemies). I usually ask permission before I rant, and thankfully, they say yes. I also patiently listen to others' rants--besides, I enjoyed Michael Groth's rants about bad drivers, board games, and camping. lololol

Of course, I do stuff for them in return...though mostly for personal reasons rather than simply for "doing good".

The majority of my friends are people I've either rarely or never met physically since my parents are unlikely to let me go more than 1 km away from our house for a non-important reason, so the most I can do is use social media to give them encouragement when they have life problems...while trying to fight the urge to focus too much on giving practical solutions. As such, one would be more likely to hear "sorry to hear that; I hope things get better for you" from me, rather than "I think doing x will help you solve your problem."
I'm a very curious person, so I often ask people a lot of questions. I exploit that trait for good by engaging friends in discussions about their personal lives...while fighting the urge to excessively talk about my own. Sometimes, the friend bounces back the topic to my own life.
I think I'm a good listener? Sometimes, I patiently wait for friends to finish talking while occasionally nodding and saying "uh-huh" to acknowledge them...though I struggle to keep my mouth shut when they pause to think of what to say next as I erroneously think they're done talking.
I wish I could step it up and actually hang out with friends in person so I can treat them to lunch/dinner bonding, D&D, or even sports, but I need a proper job first.

I'm probably chaotic good when it comes to friends, though I can't properly explain it. I do good things to them as best as I can, but I don't expect either of us to maintain a strong commitment to friendship. We have our personal lives, struggles, and limitations, and I respect their freedom to not have friendly bonding while I struggle to stay committed when I make a promise. School work can die in a fire.

One has argued I'm lawful good because of my "good relationship" with my parents, but I am quick to dispel that kind of argument because, to be honest, I often disobey my parents.
Some of my friends or former friends may argue I'm neutral good since they think I'm genuinely understanding and helpful with their problems, despite my self-portrayal of craziness.
One has argued I'm chaotic good since I treat her with respect but...we don't agree with each other's political beliefs.
One classmate, who requested to be called "Eya", argued I'm lawful neutral because I follow my own rules for life and set high expectations for myself. That was a surprisingly good argument, I admit. I worked with her in several group projects where she was the leader and I did most of what she told me to do without question, though mainly because I hate school work and wanted to get out of it, not because I'm pandering to society's demands because it's "for my own good".
Some may argue I'm chaotic neutral because of the weird stuff I did during hang-outs or the fact that I constantly call for their attention, especially when I'm bored.
Some may argue I'm chaotic evil because I've snubbed them while I was raging and because my shows of martial arts skill--both intentional and accidental--scares them.

Come on, man, I'm sure you're lawful at some point.

Well, unlike my moral alignment which is mostly neutral but fluctuates evenly between good and evil, my ethical alignment leans consistently towards chaos with occasional neutrality.

So here are some examples of times when I actually act lawful.

Besides intentionally bad examples, I always try to write in good grammar and spelling...even in casual conversations. as a kid this kind of talk was weird 2 me (intentional bad grammar). Now, I talk like this because I want to be easily understood by anyone.

Have you ever seen a sentence whose grammar or spelling is so bad that you have to take more than 10 seconds to understand what the person meant?

Sometimes, I insist on helping out a friend or family member even if I'm tired or the task is difficult because I tell them "it's part of my code of honor." Among Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages, mine is Quality Time and a little bit of Acts of Service, and, combined with my attention-seeking nature and Chronic Hero Syndrome, I almost never abandon a friend or stranger in need...unless the task is impossible for me or is part of a deception plot.

Sometimes, I even bow my head after I receive something...though I'm not sure when exactly I do it.

Interestingly, I rarely bow while training or sparring in boxing. Coach G-Force does not do it or expect me to do so. Instead, we simply do that fist-bumping ritual thing before a match.

When I receive a compliment, I usually thank the person with a statement like "thank you, that's nice of you to say."

But I'm also selective of the compliments I receive because sometimes they intend to deceive, mock, or tease in an unfriendly, non-playful way, not uplift or pay respect.

Edit, June 30, 2020: I recently got somewhat interested in Street Fighter and saw Akuma in TV Tropes as chaotic neutral despite having a code of honor.

Ideal and Disliked Alignments for Others

My ideal alignment for a friend would be neutral. I think such an alignment would be adaptable to situations with minimal restrictions from both ethics and morals. Neutral people obey or break law or tradition depending on what is most beneficial for them and/or others, and they're willing to accomplish tasks that seem morally questionable but don't directly harm anyone else.

YoSquid and I both agree that he's neutral.

Lawful is generally my least ideal alignment, largely because it conflicts with my chaotic alignment. Such an alignment, I think, would prioritize law or tradition over anything else, including maintaining a healthy friendship. I know, I'm biased because many of my friends have become inactive--almost nonexistent--thanks to school work.

Speaking of school work, I cannot trust lawful classmates and professors. I'm the kind of student who looks for loopholes in a way that I'm not technically cheating. As I said, I rant excessively about school work, sometimes to the point of disrespecting my professors, which is against university rules. I'm worried that I might have a secretly lawful "friend" who would smoke out my chaotic deeds.

Of all the lawful kinds of people, I would least want a lawful evil professor. Such a professor would ensure I (and maybe their other students) suffer and get away scot-free.

The only time I would appreciate a lawful alignment (specifically lawful neutral) is if the tradition they're obeying is my tradition. By that, I mean treating me and others with respect, keeping each other's promises, and showing up on time to events like D&D sessions and romantic dates.
My big brother, I think, is an accurate example of a lawful good person. He has great respect for Mom and Dad but treats his brothers similar to how Dad treats us: in the "tough love" style.

Chaotic is not an ideal alignment for me, either. Such an alignment is unpredictable and may even break rules at times I find foolish.

I find that many Minecraft players have a chaotic alignment, at least in-game. They are highly individualistic and unwilling to work as an organized team in team games, preferring to get all the resources and kills for themselves. Like D&D demons, they typically don't prepare or diversify their strategies; they often attack with either brute force or whatever is the most viable or popular strategy in the game. They get angry when a teammate "steals" their resources or kills.

In real life, I think those with a chaotic alignment (typically the high schoolers and construction workers I see on the streets) are foulmouthed, lazy, wasteful with money, and often have vices like smoking. (Yes, I've seen students in uniform with cigarettes.)

My younger brother Ivann has written several blog posts about his classmates who exhibit chaotic behaviors, such as "Peer Pressure is Toxic" where he talked about his friend's best friend who got mad because Ivann's friend wouldn't give money to buy a drink.
A 19-year-old employee at my mom's bakery franchise once resigned because she got pregnant without marriage.

Anyway, I'd be fine with a chaotic alignment if the chaotic person defies tradition to accomplish tasks more efficiently without directly harming others, such as my whole running thing.

Good alignments are kind of a mixed bag for me. There are good people who I like because they respect and support others, including me, wholeheartedly. There are good people who I dislike (mostly those who are lawful good) because they force others to do good, sometimes in an unfriendly, drill sergeant-like way outside of military training.

I'd avoid lawful good people like the plague and gravitate toward chaotic good people like Ghean and my other new college friend, Allison (fake name).
Neutral good is a mixed bag--I like Hytale OST composer Oscar Garvin who is chill with my Twitter shenanigans, Hytale theorist Shadrok who enjoys the blog posts I advertise to him, and BoltOLightnin who is chill with my life problems (and I'm chill with his in return), but I sometimes don't like my mom.
I'm guessing Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, is neutral good, considering he is a staunch advocate for self-improvement (lawful), though he sprinkles his articles and books with occasional vulgarity, and he believes "blind obedience causes more problems than it solves" (chaotic). I 75% like him and 25% dislike him; the 25% comes from my difficulty in improving myself. (I'm wild-guessing Mark Manson would self-identify as neutral.)

Obviously, I don't want to be friends with anyone who has an evil alignment. Not only would an evil person obviously sabotage others one way or another, but I occasionally do good deeds, which are poisonous to evil people. I like to expose evil people's deeds, which, to me, feels as thrilling as bounty hunting.

I do admit that I used to associate with one neutral evil person being my paternal grandma. It and its lawful neutral younger son used to give me money and toys as a kid and tween.
My paternal grandma's maid is lawful evil. Despite its laziness, it is fiercely loyal to my paternal grandma since the maid and its daughter regularly receive large paychecks, if I'm not mistaken. When I was a tween, that maid scratched my arm with its long fingernails while I was horsing around.

I don't personally know any chaotic evil people other than me as a 9- to 14-year-old, but the news is full of chaotic evil people, including but not limited to mass shooters, drug addicts, and some bad drivers. Some of the abusive boyfriends I see in online personal stories are also chaotic evil. Except for my younger self, they are people who I want to put on a chokehold at some point.

Alignment in Video Games

In the limited time I had to play inFAMOUS in my big brother's house, I chose to be good. In real life, I dislike it when innocent people are hurt, so I frequently healed injured people and avoided using AoE attacks in free roam except in areas with no civilians.

The core gameplay of Grand Theft Auto games involves very few good acts. Many are either chaotic, evil, or both. The player gets rewarded--even in tiny amounts like a few dollars--for committing evil acts, while the punishment, which is being attacked by the police, can be avoided by respraying one's vehicle or hiding from the police, depending on the game.
In free roam, I am neutral evil. I sometimes shoot random people to practice my aim or attract cops because I simply feel like causing carnage against the law. Usually though, I beat people to death with fists or a blunt melee weapon because of my addiction to close combat...and it does not attract as much police attention as using a gun. I am ruthless against enemy gang members and will kill them on sight if I have nothing else to do. On the other hand, I avoid injuring allied gang members as much as possible unless I'm desperate.

Team PvP

With random strangers, I'm chaotic neutral. Usually, I just fight by myself and let teammates do their own thing so I can feel like a one-man superhero (which usually fails). Sometimes, I follow a teammate wherever they go when I get killed a lot so I have a bit of a better chance to survive a difficult battle. I don't actively support teammates, but I don't sabotage them either and just keep my mouth shut even if someone's toxic or a noob. Yes, I steal kills, but I argue that I would rather keep everyone in my team alive than sacrifice a teammate or strategy just to let a teammate score a kill. (Side note: When Doug Marcaida, the judge in charge of the kill tests in Forged in Fire, says "It will KEAL!", he actually means "keep everyone alive".)
I almost always say "gg" after every game...unless someone was obviously cheating, to which I say, "NOT gg!"

With friends, I'm neutral good. I actively support and praise my teammates when they make even small accomplishments such as giving me an item or killing a weak enemy player. As long as they play fair, I respect their freedom to fight in any style they desire, even if they are aware that I'm their leader. (Yes, nowadays, I don't make myself the leader--instead, my friends choose me to lead them in battle.)
I admit, though, that I am struggling to tolerate friends playing dishonorably, such as when they harshly insult other players (or, even worse, others in my squad) in public. Fortunately, none of my close friends do that, which is one reason why I respect them a lot.

I've had some neutral evil moments in Minecraft PvP, such as when a shady teammate begged me for stuff. I told him to "come with me" so I can "give my stuff in private" when, in fact, I lured him to an enemy base to stop him from harassing me while having a free pair-up partner. I mean, he's got to defend himself, right?
Sometimes, I also stalked and repeatedly killed a player who I had a personal resentment against. I loved it when they raged at me 'cause that just proved they're weak in combat, honor, and control over their temper. I didn't rage back at them though--I just told them "gg" in hopes that they'll interpret my intentionally honorable statement as mockery, leading to even more laughs from me.

Hytale

Faction reputation has been confirmed in the December progress update, and, while I'm not 100% sure about any good factions (for all we know, Kweebecs and Gaia could be neutral, not good), there are certainly evil characters like Varyn. Outlanders look evil judging by their use of dark magic and green diamonds supposedly representing Varyn.

For simplicity, I'll assume that Kweebecs, Ferans, and Gaia are good while Trorks, Scaraks, Outlanders, Varyn, and all undead and void creatures (except the undead chicken in the December progress update, which may be neutral or unaligned) are evil.

If you've read my Hytale play style, specifically part 3, you'll figure out that I plan to do a good playthrough. I want to prioritize befriending good factions like the Kweebecs and Ferans while obliterating the evil factions.

I think, just like playing with friends in PvP, I'll be neutral good, though leaning slightly more towards lawful. Over the months of writing on this blog, I've built a huge, well-organized plan, which is associated with being lawful. (I think a chaotic player would rather act based on present situations than plan ahead.) I plan to treat each and every single friendly player and faction member with the respect they deserve and provide them with abundant resources while ensuring that few, if not zero, allies die in battle. However, I'm not lawful good because, sometimes, I let my anger get the best of me when a friendly player ruins our strategy, meaning I don't stick to my word of being a kind and cool-headed leader. Additionally, I destroy evil for fun or out of personal resentment, not necessarily honor and justice.

My alignment would be a weirdly mixed bag in an evil playthrough.
I'd retain my neutral good alignment for my allies (which now include evil faction members) while keeping them convinced that I'm evil. On the battlefield though, I'll be chaotic evil and mercilessly destroy the forces of good like I'm massacring cops or wild Pokémon.
Though I should probably try making friends with good factions then betraying them quietly in a separate evil playthrough... This would be effective with Kweebecs since they are welcoming to strangers and may be the easiest to befriend and deceive. I'd better watch out for the Razorleaf Rangers, though, which I suspect will be much more difficult than GTA cops...

Bonus Content: Character Sheet

This character sheet, based on my real life self, is a Rogue 2/Monk 3/Barbarian 1.

It contains a lot of homebrew content and other edits like my proficiencies in Strength and Constitution saving throws, so if you want to use me in your D&D game, talk about it with your DM. Alternatively, you can remove the homebrew features.

I ignored the monk's multiclass requirement of 13 Wisdom since...I have awful perception and common sense in real life, but my low Wisdom didn't stop me from learning martial arts.
If your DM follows multiclass requirement rules, switch my Intelligence and Wisdom scores.

My starting class is Rogue since I've been sneaky starting at 9 years old.

The character sheet contains more information if you want to use me with normal D&D rules.

TL;DR summary: As a little kid, I was chaotic neutral. As a 9 to 14 year old, I was chaotic evil. Now, I'm mostly chaotic neutral again.
When playing D&D, I'm neutral.
When fighting in real life, I'm usually neutral, but I can be chaotic evil when desperate.
I act neutral when I'm with my parents.
I'm chaotic good with friends.
In video games, I'm often neutral good with friends and in many games that have alignment mechanics. In GTA, I'm neutral evil.
Neutral is my most ideal alignment for friends.