Tactical Uses of Hytale Poop

I wanna say this is a literal (swear)post, but I usually avoid saying uncensored swear words outside of quotations.

DISCLAIMER: This is speculative and based on pre-release information and Minecraft. This is not to be taken seriously; this is just for fun.
Bring a mask just in case. Not just because of the coronavirus, but also because of the content of this post.

Remember when fans were obsessed with the deadeye pigeon back in August 2019 when "Custom content in Hytale" was the latest blog post?

And remember when Simon posted that Crab Rave meme which got more likes (19.1K) than the Hytale Twitter account's Tweet of the Hytale trailer link (12.4K)?

Well, Hypixel Studios is back with the laughs, this time with a...(swear)y marketing strategy. As Noxy Tweeted, and I want to roughly paraphrase, Hytale has showcased upgraded audio and ice graphics, but everyone is super interested in...poop.

At least poop is the girl's only problem right now.
Imagine if she had to deal with a mob of fans gathering near the poop.
Nice face, by the way.

Now, I admit I am mostly a serious writer. Not in the serious level of some educational writers, though--I sprinkle a handful of jokes or funny stories in the middle of serious content.
So I figured, how about we chill the Thomas Frick out and do something...mostly funny for once. (Permission to use this bad pun obtained from Thomas Frick.) Oh, and I forgot: bring a barf bag.
(Shout-out to Dan Telfer from D&D Beyond for partially and indirectly inspiring me to do this.)

Let's get the obvious out of the way first:
Poop is intended to be used as fertilizer. Plain and simple.
Might make good human repellent for a farm as well if there's a mechanic where humans (or humanoids) can get poisoned, suffocated, or otherwise harmed by poop.

I know I stepped on poop multiple times, and it's a very weird feeling when you think you're stepping on hard stone but instead step on something soft similar to clay but smellier and almost always brown.
Imagine if stepping on poop in Hytale makes you slip and get knocked down if you move too quickly. Bonus points if you faceplant onto another pile of poop.
Plus, Hytale nights are really freaking dark--darker than most games I play, including Minecraft. Use poop to foil a sneak-attacker's plans, either by forcing them to navigate through the darkness or forcing them to use a torch.

Did you know that coprophagy means eating poop?
Hmmm, poop might make for an interesting chemical weapon. Replace someone's chocolate (or some other brown food) with poop shaped exactly like that food. Prestidigitation, a D&D spell, can even change the flavor of an object, so you can hide the poopy taste.
My mom once sent me an obviously rushed message that said, "Ice tae available dear". "Tae" (TAH-eh) means "poop" in Filipino. She meant to say "iced tea". Iced tea is usually brownish. Just mix a little poop into your enemies' iced tea while masking the smell with prestidigitation and you have true ice tae.
Or you can go more Minecraft-y and brew liquid poop to make a splash potion. Even better if the potion can emit a noxious gas that can obscure enemies' lines of sight while stunning them with the awful smell. Just make sure you have another kind of ranged attack like a bow and arrows so you don't have to "get a taste of your own medicine" because you're forced to engage the enemy in melee combat.
According to Healthline, poop contains E. coli and Salmonella and can cause nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, and fever. They're really something you want to inflict on your enemies...unless they're plants, constructs, or undead. Once your enemies fall into your poop traps, they become very easy to kill 'cause they can hardly move without exploding either through their butts or their throats.
Side note: Shadrok told me about ninja black eggs which emit a pepper spray-like gas that causes blindness upon being thrown.

Speaking of harmful bacteria, I think coating or tipping a weapon with poop then hitting with the weapon will inject those bacteria into an enemy's bloodstream. Kinda OP, if you ask me, since I don't think Hypixel Studios will make animals rare outside of less hospitable areas like zone 4's blazing hot surface.

Okay, maybe some of you might tell me, "Hey, poop isn't THAT bad! Show it some respect!"
I mean, it is significant in pop culture, so I guess there are good ways to mess around with poop.

If poop can literally be crafted into building blocks, including the ones in "Building with blocks in Hytale", then we could build entire countries out of poop. Problem is, you'd need some form of mass production and a lot of animals.
Ever had times when either your poop was so hard that it struggled to get out of your butt or flowed very smoothly out of your butt like a hot knife through butter? You could build castles out of hard poop and rivers out of soft poop.
Hopefully, poop can also be dyed so we have a wide selection of colors to work with.
SERIOUS WARNING: DO NOT POOP ANYWHERE IN REAL LIFE OTHER THAN A TOILET.

When my younger brother Ivann and I were kids, we did pretend games which gave trophies: gold, silver, bronze, and the worst: the "Ew Trophy", which is given to the loser. I imagined it as a trophy literally made of poop: on top, it had the typical swirly poop just like in Hytale. Its base resembled that of an actual trophy.
But screw gold, silver, and bronze! Let's make them different kinds of poop instead! Remember Pet Society which had golden and rainbow poop? You could start with those. Whether you give the rainbow poop to the biggest winner or the biggest loser is up to you, but I bet giving it to the loser would be extra humiliating.

Lazy Conclusion

Did you know I wrote this blog post while eating? (Alone, that is.)

But, in all seriousness, I'm just super excited for Hytale to be an insanely successful game. That's why I talked about all this weird stuff: to inspire Hypixel Studios or modders to add weird features to use humor to reel in more players, and to diversify my content to hopefully bring smiles and chuckles to my own readers.

Hopefully, my brain can cook up another funny Hytale concept or marketing strategy in the future.

For now, my suggestion to Hypixel Studios is: POST MORE HYTALE MEMES, DANG IT!

Lastly, here's an interesting enemy concept by u/Hakno on r/HytaleInfo:

TL;DR summary: Hytale poop can be used:

• As human repellent to stop thieves from stealing crops.
• As a sticky trap that makes enemies fall on their faces.
• As a poison whose smell can be hidden by magic.
• As coating on a weapon.
• As a building material.
• As a trophy.

By the way, I'll be on vacation this week at Boracay (for the 5th time lol). Don't worry though--I have a D&D-themed post ready to go next Sunday.

I don't plan to blog about this trip--I typically don't get excited about vacations.
I WILL tell you though that, on my Boracay trip, I will eat at Sooubway, mainly because I'm a fan of TheOdd1sOut, but also because when I had Sooubway in Boracay and Singapore last year, I enjoyed a ton.