If Midori Gurin was a Rival…in HYTALE

Of course, killing Midori won't be as easy as this...but you bet I'll laugh maniacally once I get her for real.

I was in a hurry to finish this so I apologize for missing content and plot holes/inconsistencies.

Normally, I wouldn’t kill Midori because I have a strange crush on her because of her hair, face, and green aesthetic. However, her being a potential DLC rival in Yandere Simulator gets my Blood Knight blood boiling with a desire for battle…

DISCLAIMER: This is either based on pre-release information or how I imagine Hytale to work…at least the parts without Midori in them. They may not be in the final game so this post is just for fun. Assume Midori will be part of a third-party mod that’s not from YandereDev.

Also, I am not a professional e-sports athlete.

YandereDev likes it when “game developers share their characters with one another” according to his BITC crossover announcement, so I’m gonna go crazy in this Hytale crossover. He even posted a video of a Super Smash Bros. for Wii U mod where Ayano’s model replaces Lucina’s and a regular katana replaces the Parallel Falchion. (Funny because I imagine Ayano as more of a colorless dagger unit. Most Yandere Simulator artworks depicting Ayano with a weapon have her wield a knife. Then again, I see a lot of fan art and some cosplay of Ayano wielding a katana...)

According to YandereDev, Midori Gurin may be a possible rival if DLC is implemented. She is said to know everything about Yandere Simulator thanks to constantly asking YandereDev questions. For this Hytale crossover, I’ll assume this Midori also annoyed Hypixel Studios CEO Noxy with questions and therefore knows both Hytale’s and Yandere Simulator’s mechanics. She’s an AI imitation of the player with meta knowledge and pro gamer skills.

Individual Midori Gameplay and Tactics

Two players working together can easily cheese a fight against Midori, especially in the early-game. It’s harder to dodge attacks when pinned down in a pincer formation, though I reckon, because of Midori’s Yandere Simulator familiarity, it’s difficult to sneak up on her, so maintaining the pincer formation will be a challenge ‘cause she’ll try to strafe until at least one player can grab or stun Midori while the other deals continuous damage. (At least, unlike Osana Najimi and Megami Saikou, Midori will not have bodyguards unless she befriends a faction.)

If Midori starts out kinda like a Minecraft player with no inventory or unique abilities, she’s very easy to take down if I get a weapon faster than her.

Depending on how Midori wants to play, she may become, for the most part, a Friend to All Living Things, including both good and evil factions. As such, taking Midori down as early as possible is important (regardless of playthrough alignment) to prevent this otherwise unlikely friendship from happening.

This is especially true if Midori as a magical girl in Mom0ki’s “Midori vs Oka” video gets more powerful the more fans she has around her, just like Magical Girl Pretty Miyuki and her fellow magical girls. (If this exists in the Midori mod, there should be a config option to toggle Midori's magical girl abilities on or off.)

(While in Orbis, Midori can’t know if people other than her are “sending her YandereDev annoying emails.”)

Most Player Character Builds Should Be Able to Defeat Midori

Hypixel Studios encourages the player to play Adventure Mode in many different ways from the mundane farming to the intense combat. Naturally, each play style has its own strategic strengths and weaknesses…which I think Midori would be aware of. A mirror match (i.e., in a Hytale context, two players fighting each other with the same equipment) would be theoretically impossible because Midori will be naturally more skilled.

Therefore, scouting Midori is important to discover what strategies she’s employing. However, unlike in real-time strategy (RTS) games where, say, the player can have a worker unit scout an enemy base while the other workers collect resources, scouting prevents the player from doing anything else in Hytale (besides redstone-like tasks—redstone in Minecraft is a mid-game resource used for automating tasks).

According to the Student Council gameplay focus video, when Akademi High School’s atmosphere is low, the Student Council members’ sight range is 40 meters, the same as a Minecraft zombie’s sight range. 40 blocks seems reasonable for my hypothetical Midori…under normal conditions. After all, she’s had a yandere as a schoolmate before. If she knows the player is a major threat to her, her sight range may extend to 60 meters plus an enhanced sense of hearing.

It’s currently unknown if the player can sneak behind Hytale mobs (as opposed to Minecraft mobs which have 360° vision), but since Midori is a Yandere Simulator character, I’ll assume it’s still possible to sneak up behind her…with a catch: Attempt a melee sneak attack on Midori and she’ll react with the same speed as Raibaru Fumetsu. Midori also constantly watches her surroundings for assassins—she’ll look behind her or at rooftops, for example (think of a Photography Club member at low school atmosphere), so the player will need to use physical barriers or invisibility to get the drop on her.

Judging by the (probably unofficial) “Midori vs Oka” video, I think Midori in Hytale would gravitate towards a mage build…which is perfect because I, as a rogue, am a natural counter to her. Rogues are naturally good scouts because of their agility, whether these rogues are thieves, assassins, or dedicated scouts (and I’m better at scouting than theft and assassination). The rogue’s speed also helps in evading magical attacks, allowing the rogue to exploit mages’ weak physical defenses.

Though BoltOLightnin, a mage, would have more difficulty fighting Midori than I would, he’s still valuable in a 2v1. He’s played The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and the first thing taught in the magical college there is how to magically block an incoming spell, so he can delay Midori while I go for the sneak attack.

 

Then again, I know not all players may want to defeat Midori with a specific character build. Some members of Hypixel Studios like Noxy have played D&D, especially Oscar Garvin who made an entire D&D soundtrack and replied to a Tweet of mine with a GIF of Critical Role Dungeon Master (and Chrom’s voice actor) Matthew Mercer saying “I love Dungeons & Dragons!”, so I think Hytale and perhaps the Midori modder will encourage the player to play how they want, not play how others expect the player to, whether that’s something in-game or from a third party (like a fan-made strategy guide).

Let’s start with the classic knight in shining armor (KiSA) build: heavy armor, one-handed sword, and shield. This build would traditionally get easily decimated by mages, though I imagine Hypixel Studios would buff up shields to add a lot of magic resistance when blocking. (Maybe only if the player is wearing heavy armor to keep up with the KiSA trope because I wouldn’t imagine shield-wielding barbarians to be magic-resistant.) Bashing spells with the shield could even bounce the attack back to the mage at the cost of either losing a lot of durability or being temporarily unable to use the shield. If Midori prefers to do a Magic Missile Storm to make it harder to bash spells back or use AoE magic to safely damage shielding knights, the knight can just inch slowly towards Midori while keeping the shield held up until Midori runs out of mana. Beware of spells that stop movement, however.

What about a barbarian build? I suppose you can rage as soon as the fight starts and just Attack! Attack! Attack! Just make sure you’ve REALLY practiced your evasion. (Actually, I can’t imagine how a barbarian would defeat a mage.)

What if you’re more of a charmer than a fighter? Keep in mind that, despite Midori’s vast game knowledge, she’s still human and still suffers from lack of common sense (such as sending a ladybug to YandereDev as part of a “bug report”). To start, if I played this role, I would stealthily cast a spell or throw a potion to charm her into lowering her guard, making her think I don’t mean anything deceptive. Considering how Midori talks to herself when emailing YandereDev in Yandere Simulator, I expect her to be just as loud and blatantly declarative of her interest in emailing YandereDev in Hytale, so a charmer who has no prior knowledge of YandereDev or Midori Gurin can obtain this information in-game and use it to make it easier to “befriend” her. (Then again, I think on the first days of this hypothetical mod’s existence, it will be played mostly by Yandere Simulator fans. If it gets popular just like, say, Pixelmon, non-Yandere Simulator players may pick up the mod and not know how to get on Midori’s good side right off the bat.)

(You know why I said most character builds, not all? Because imagine if you attacked a fully equipped Midori with only regular clothing and your bare fists. Then again, I'd be shocked to see someone successfully do this.)

Exploiting Midori’s Favorite Color (which is also LT’s favorite color)

Because Midori’s favorite foods are all green, the player can track Midori’s location by having a dog examine leftovers of green food then having the dog follow the scent trail.

However, Midori has prepared for that so she reluctantly eats non-green food for five days a week and rinses all her leftovers in water to partially neutralize the smell and make it take longer for dogs to identify the scent. Also, the player may have to compete against plant-eating animals to give the dog enough time to examine the scent.

Let’s pretend this Lum Berry from Pixelmon is Midori’s leftover food.

Midori’s Faction Behavior

Midori, I think, will gravitate towards the Kweebecs first for an early start since the Kweebecs are friendly (and some of them are green). Setting Kweebec villages on fire helps cheese the game in an evil playthrough but I like to consider both good and evil playthroughs so perhaps I can just delay Midori in a good playthrough by scattering hostile mob bait near friendly faction territory such as attracting Trorks with meat or Fen Stalkers with fish. (I was thinking of driving Midori to murder the Kweebecs for some sweet Razorleaf Ranger overkill but she also knows Yandere Simulator’s mechanics so she ain’t falling for that trick. I also thought of damaging Midori’s reputation among the Kweebecs but that doesn’t work either.)

Guess which Kweebec Midori will like more than the other.

For a more violent route, she might immediately rush the Outlanders’ bases to immediately steal the Outlanders’ powerful equipment and because, if Midori indeed has a rivalry with Oka Ruto, the Outlanders may remind Midori of Oka. If Midori pulls off a Leeroy Jenkins move like this, I can exploit it by joining the fight, preferably using a fighting style or character build different from the Outlanders so that her strategy would get mixed up.

“YandereDev, YandereDev! Should I use my tactics against the hardened survivalists or switch to my anti-rogue tactics?”

“I’ll give you a tactic: SHUT UP!”

*stab*

*Insert FINAL FANTASY victory theme*

But wait: The Outlanders use a variety of “character builds”. Warriors and Leaders are, in D&D terms, fighters. Rangers are, well, rangers. (Or rogues.) Priests are either clerics or wizards.

Since Outlander priests are also leader figures, I’ll assume their numbers are much lower than other Outlander archetypes, so it’s safe to use a spellcaster build against Midori. Rangers mainly hang outside of Outlander settlements so rogue builds are good to go as well. Therefore, melee fighter builds are not safe because the player will likely get caught in the Outlander fighters’ attacks as the player attacks Midori…and Midori will likely adapt towards fighting melee fighters.

Well, looks like BoltOLightnin and I are just perfect for hitting Midori with this tactic. Rogue and wizard working together to troll the fighter killer.

Summary

Anyway, in short, use physical barriers while scouting Midori, have a dog sniff out Midori’s trail through her food, think of creative ways to use your character builds, prevent Midori from befriending factions, and attack her when she’s fighting against powerful foes. If all else fails, outnumber her with a friendly player. Ayano Aishi doesn’t play fair and neither should you.

Or maybe just fire up “Creative mode” and stalk Midori to learn how she plays to find glaring flaws in her AI. Or better yet, Hytale is designed to be easy to mod, so peek at the Midori mod’s code. Better hope the modder left comments in the code to make it easier to read… Mwahahahaha!

Wait, what about the clones?

Midori has a clone army according to the end of YandereDev’s March 2017 Progress Report (no, not a Hytale progress update) so that obviously ramps her difficulty Up to Eleven ‘cause she just won’t freaking stay dead! Then again, in Yandere Simulator, every Midori clone will be just as difficult as the past one compared to Hytale where I imagine every new Midori to have no equipment which gives the player an unfair advantage.

One solution would be to give the new Midori temporary buffs to make it easier for her to progress. These buffs get stronger and last longer depending on how strong the player’s equipment is—for example, a player with only a common Trork Sword would give Midori the equivalents of Strength, Speed, and Resistance 1 for 5 minutes while a player with a Demonic Axe and thorium armor would give Midori Strength, Speed, and Resistance 4 for 30 minutes. (Hard mode: make every new Midori start with the same gear as the strongest player but do not give temporary buffs.)

Getting equipment is the next challenge since, as the playthrough goes on, the world will steadily run out of ores. If Midori doesn’t gain a status effect that auto-generates crafting materials out of thin air, she may gain a temporary sensory power akin to Yandere Vision that highlights valuables and NPCs that drop valuables.

To be honest, though, I’m satisfied with killing one Midori then ending my playthrough.

The next Midori clone will surely catch up when you have equipment as powerful as this.
(This player is wielding what looks to me like a two-handed thorium battleaxe, by the way.)
Screenshot from “Inside the Hytale Foley Studio”

Yandere Vision can highlight cleaning equipment even if it's hidden.
Imagine these were ores instead.

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! What’s the difference between a ‘progress report’ and a ‘progress update’?”

Blehhhhh. You don’t know context clues, do you, Midori? Anyway, they look like similar phrases to me normally, but in this context, “progress report” refers to Yandere Simulator while “progress update” refers to Hytale. It all depends on the writer’s choice of words.

Anyway, speaking of Midori clones…

Midori Clone Faction in Hytale

Backstory

I’m having trouble thinking of motivations for other players in general to side with Midori or her rival faction so I used my Author Avatar. Also, this is my first time writing a serious crossover fanfiction. I’m a bit nervous about my Author Avatar being a Mary Sue.

Oh, look, another faction to rival the poopy deadeye pigeons. At least this one is made only of infantry units this time. I hate fliers.

(Midori appears to float during her Transformation Sequence but does not float afterward so I’ll assume she cannot become a flier on her own.)

I just realized, by the way, that the scientist in charge of the Midori clones is Kaga Kusha, leader of the Science Club. He had the Red Armband of Leadership. I don’t know if he’s evil, but I find it funny how he often sounds like an evil scientist.

But before I talk about Kaga’s Midori army, let me introduce to you a less…important faction: Hypixel Studios. Yes, that Hypixel Studios. Its members are the Author Avatars of all the real-life members of Hypixel Studios. (GAME FREAK also has offices in the Pokémon world and its members blatantly tell the player that they worked on the Pokémon games so I think my idea can slide.) In general, though the members of Hypixel Studios mainly program the game and design the world and creatures (and as such hold powers far stronger than Gaia), they interfere very little outside of their homes and small offices and, when they do, they mainly test things for glitches or gameplay imbalances or help in writing a new blog post.

What does Hypixel Studios have to do with Midori? Well, about one month ago, Orbis had inter-universal portals to Akademi High School and YandereDev’s house. Kaga and the Midoris used these portals for about 2 years to attend school and, in the case of the Midoris, raid YandereDev’s house and bother him with annoying questions. However, a few minutes after YandereDev killed the Midori in “The Origin of Midori Gurin” and Kaga unleashed his next Midori, these portals were destroyed by Varyn and his forces, believing these portals were created by Gaia’s loyalists to send reinforcements to stop Varyn. Needless to say, the newly unleashed Midori freaked out and whined…especially because Orbis has no Wi-Fi to email YandereDev with. (The Hypixel Studios members communicate through magic instead…which, unfortunately, cannot reach YandereDev’s house.) Midori searched the land, begging for random sentient beings to bring back one of the portals…and stumbled upon a massive pagoda that reminded her of Yandere Simulator’s fictional Japan. She went inside believing a powerful being lived in the pagoda…and found Roddan, the level designer and, I presume, one of the “main builders” akin to, say, the Old Builders from Minecraft: Story Mode.

“You built this huuuge pagoda, right? Surely you must know how to rebuild a portal to Akademi? I really miss emailing YandereDev…” Midori said to Roddan.

“Who is this…’YandereDev’ you speak of?” Roddan asked in confusion. “What is ‘Akademi’?”

“Oh, it’s the best school in Japan…where I get to email my favorite YandereDev! He made Yandere Simulator, a game where you play as a girl obsessed with her Senpai…and I love the game so much, I JUST gotta ask more questions!” (I really need to work on my roleplay.)

“Fascinating and all, but I’m afraid I don’t know how to build a portal. Plus, I have a mountain of tasks to finish. These grand designs on my desk won’t build by themselves, dear. If you need more information, please come to my boss, Noxy.”

Roddan points Midori to the location of Noxy’s office building. The burning urge to email YandereDev keeps Midori strong as she travels.

Noxy’s office resembles a grand castle from the front, but Midori felt a little uneasy as the inside looked like it was under construction thanks to the noontime sun shining brightly through most of what look like rooms judging by the partially complete stone brick walls. Crates and stacks of parchment lay beside dusty, scratched chests that looked like they’ve seen many years of use. On the bright side, most of the stonework looks smooth and well-polished.

She went into an inner chamber which greatly contrasted the rest of the castle. The entire floor is covered in an ornately patterned carpet colored…whatever Noxy’s favorite color is. Clean wardrobes and bookshelves, each with written labels, lay against the walls. Chandeliers provided most of the lighting though torches stood on the wall opposite the exit door. Near these torches is a large wooden desk with a tome lying on the center and stacks of parchment lying on either side. The man reading the tome notices Midori’s arrival and introduces himself.

“Hm? I thought I checked the perimeter earlier. Who are you? You didn’t schedule an appointment with me.”

“Please, please, please tell me you’re Noxy! I need your help! Can you fix the portal to Akademi High or something? I really wanna email YandereDev!” Midori cried.

“Okay, slow down. Yes, I’m Noxy, CEO of Hypixel Studios, and yes, I’ve just learned those two portals were destroyed. But, as for fixing them, I’m afraid my team and I have more important matters to attend to.”

“When are you gonna fix the portal, pleeease?”

“I don’t know. I’m just really busy on something my team and I are supposed to distribute to the public in…well, we don’t know that either, actually. Might take many years or so. This is a tough project.” (“The Origin of Midori Gurin” was published in 2017. Hypixel Studios started working on Hytale in 2015. Imagine this backstory is set in 2017 in YandereDev’s time, not Orbis time.)

“Oh, come on… At least teach me how to do it…”

“It’s too complex for me right now. Anyway, I have some meetings coming in a few minutes. I’m free starting at 4 hours before midnight so use this [magic orb] to contact me at that time.”

“Thanks…for not killing me! I like YandereDev, but you’re a lot nicer… Don’t worry, I’ll call you later!”

Let the Quests Begin!

4 years later (assuming Hytale gets released in 2021 as promised), the members of Hypixel Studios are stressed out, especially Noxy. Every day, they get overwhelmed by questions from Midori begging them to teach her how to survive her adventures throughout Orbis as she persistently looks for ways to repair one of the portals. Hypixel Studios refuses to reject Midori’s calls thanks to their promise to be more communicative after some screw-ups in 2019…at least until Noxy finally activated “SNAP mode” and killed Midori after years of being constantly pestered. (I guess you could say Midori was one more reason why Hypixel Studios stayed quiet for many months other than processing the acquisition by Riot Games.) Needless to say, Kaga Kusha was more shocked than usual upon noticing he lost a clone…to someone other than YandereDev or Ayano Aishi. A new clone of Midori walks the land…

“Noxy, Noxy! Why’d you kill me?”

“What the—I thought I killed you! How are you still alive? That’s it. I’ll put a bounty on you.”

About 30 minutes later, in a distant forest in zone 1, an unfamiliar human-like figure with what looks like a partially cut-off head disturbs the animals’ rest with what sounds like clapping as it speeds across the grass on its way to a cliff. It then jumps off the cliff (cue epic slow-mo shot) and lands with a roll as the trees around him clear out to reveal a young green-haired boy in a white T-shirt, blue basketball shorts, and blue flip-flops. His name is LunaticTactician. (Yes, my Author Avatar is not wearing his green leather jacket and blue tie. He’s newly spawned.)

While scanning the ground around him, LT noticed a piece of parchment near the ground and flying in the direction of the wind. LT lunged towards it and narrowly caught it with the tips of his fingers ‘cause his aim sucks.

“Hmmm… Wanted: Midori Gurin. Wait, WHAT? Midori Gurin!? How’d she get here? Did she stumble into the wrong fictional universe? Or is this where her clones are coming from? Heh-heh-heh, this is my chance…” LT said to himself.

LT can then choose to either side with Midori to go to Akademi High with her ‘cause he’s got a beef with Megami Saikou or side with Hypixel Studios to sate his desire for battle since LT knows Midori’s incredible power.

Siding with Midori Gurin

LT: Whoa! I recognize that outfit! That must be her…

LT approaches Midori head-on.

LT: (suppressing a blush) H-hey, you’re Midori Gurin, right?

Midori: Whaa— Who are you? How’d you know my name? And why do you have…green hair?

LT: Trust me: my hair being green is for a different reason. Anyway, I’m from YandereDev’s world and I’ve played Yandere Simulator so I know who you are.

Midori: Wonderful! So how’s my YandereDev?

LT: Uh, as much as I stalk YandereDev like an Info-chan impersonator, I…don’t personally know him. We live in completely different countries. He lives in the United States and I live…or rather, lived, in the Philippines, which is in Asia just like Japan. All I know is he’s going through a really rough time with some…let’s say “shady” people (or, as YandereDev calls them, “gremlins”) abusing him and sabotaging his project. (Author’s note to YandereDev: Don’t worry—I don’t use the information I gain from “stalking” to sabotage a person, project, or business. I just think the word sounds cool. And I respect you too much for me to be a gremlin.)

Midori: Who are these shady people? No one will hurt my YandereDev! Let me, Midori Gurin, deliver them justice!

LT: Well, I don’t know either. They’re probably spread out all over YandereDev’s world. Anyway, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you in Akademi High?

Midori: I don’t know! Someone shut down the portals to Akademi and YandereDev’s world! I tried asking Noxy but he doesn’t know how to repair the portal either! He even killed me!

LT: The fudge? Noxy is in this world? Since when did he become a killer? You’re joking, right?

Midori: Humph! I’m not joking! For four years, I’ve been without my YandereDev! Hypixel Studios just doesn’t understand my feelings! (Author’s note to Hypixel Studios: Don’t worry. This is just me trying to make Midori act like a typical teenager. I don’t have any personal grudges against you guys.)

LT: Okay, calm down. Who do you think destroyed these portals?

Midori: I think Noxy said some guy named “Varyn” did it? Wait, I’ll ask him again…

LT: Don’t bother. Considering he killed you before, asking him is probably a bad idea. Oh well, I have a bone to pick with Varyn too…

Midori: Yay! So can I join you? Please? Pretty please?

LT: Okay, sure. Keep in mind though: I don’t like some of the stupid questions you ask YandereDev so don’t ask similar questions to me. Got it?

Midori: But I was gonna ask you if we can ever meet YandereDev again…

LT: I’ll do what I can, but no promises. I don’t know if the mountains of preparations I made over the years will be useful in this adventure…

Midori: Mountains? You can make mountains? No way! Teach me how!

LT: Dingus. I don't mean literal mountains. I mean, I prepared for Hytale a LOT.

Midori: Yay! Don't worry, YandereDev! We're prepared to protect you!

Midori joined LT’s party!

How Hypixel Studios Will Oppose the Player

Hypixel Studios, despite their desire to exterminate Midori and her associates, is aware that they’re in a game and, as such, don’t want to ruin experiences for the player by just, say, doing commands like /kill and /ban. (That’ll just give them a bad reputation among the Hytale community. lololol) Instead, because of their influence, they will steadily damage the player’s and Midori’s reputation to prevent them from befriending other factions easily. This balances out Midori’s meta knowledge by making the player more reliant on guerrilla tactics than using powerful equipment and mooks. This also encourages fast-paced gameplay (i.e. no turtling) because, if the player’s reputation among the many factions turns really bad, imagine an army of Kweebecs, Trorks, etc. rushing your base all at once out of nowhere.

However, Hypixel Studios can only damage the player’s reputation in whatever zone the player is in. For example, if the player is in zone 1, the Kweebecs, Trorks, etc. will be affected, while in zone 2, the Ferans, Scaraks, etc. will be affected. Destroying a Hypixel Studios base will prevent them from damaging reputation within that zone for 3 in-game days. Destroying all bases within a zone (or maybe 20 if they generate infinitely) permanently prevents reputation damage for that zone.

Varyn Fight

Midori will constantly give tips to the player on how to fight Varyn but Varyn will try to magically silence Midori. Repeatedly attacking Varyn with headshots or armor-slaying weapons temporarily disables this silencing ability.

Many Void Eyes will join this fight (possibly more than the vanilla Hytale Varyn fight) to keep the duo’s attention divided between Varyn himself and his overwhelming army of mooks. Void Spawns may form physical barriers around Varyn akin to Scarak tanks.

However, to complete Midori’s questline, the player should not kill Varyn; he must be captured instead. However, Varyn cannot be captured or killed by the player; instead, a killing blow on Varyn will make him explode into void particles then reform anew after 2 in-game days, forcing the player to fight Varyn again at full HP. (Each successive “kill” will permanently reduce all of Varyn’s stats but prevent him from dropping loot.)

To capture Varyn, the player and Midori must have friendly reputations with at least 5 factions, allowing Midori to transform into a magical girl powerful enough to capture Varyn. (This unique magical girl event happens regardless of config options.)

Once captured, the player can interrogate Varyn and intimidate him into reopening the portals to Akademi High School and YandereDev’s house. (Cue Grand Theft Auto V torture scene. Just kidding.) The player can then tell Midori whether or not to inflict the killing blow on Varyn.

After the Varyn Fight

Midori: YandereDev, YandereDev! I’m back! Did you miss me?

YandereDev: Not now, Midori. I’m putting some finishing touches on this next rival. Actually, what are you doing here? I thought you were gone for good.

Midori: Oh, someone called LunaticTactician was nice enough to take me back to you.

YandereDev: Who is “LunaticTactician”? How does he know where I live?

Midori: I’ve been going through a portal this whole time! LT is on the other side of that portal, by the way.

YandereDev holds Midori at knife-point.

YandereDev: Where is this portal?

Midori: It’s…over there…

YandereDev: Thanks for making my life easier.

*stabs Midori on forehead* (YandereDev, you do realize it’s easier to stab someone on the abdomen ‘cause it’s softer and has less bone to protect it as opposed to the head which has a freaking skull, right? Or are you and your knife just that strong? Hmmm, maybe you should compete in Forged in Fire: Knife or Death…)

The wild MIDORI fainted!

YandereDev then goes through the portal and hunts for LT. Unbeknownst to YandereDev, a green-haired boy in a green leather jacket has appeared out of nowhere in YandereDev’s game view and just killed the rival he was testing, turning the rival into a bloody and glitchy mess. Ayano just stood there and thought, “The heck just happened? Oh well, one less nuisance for me to deal with on my way to Senpai’s heart.”

Credits roll. THE END.

Siding with Hypixel Studios

I admit I wrote this kinda hastily. I ran out of ideas.

Hypixel Studios is considered a very sensitive topic for many of Hytale’s factions, both good and evil. As such, the player first needs to become “best friends” with a faction before they can reveal the location of a Hypixel Studios member’s base. The faction will also write the player a sort of “letter of authorization”. (Wouldn’t want gremlins breaking into their bases and burgling everything, y’know!)

Alternatively, just like sniffing Midori’s leftovers with a dog, some Hypixel Studios members leave behind traces of their whereabouts which can be used to scout. For example, Oscar Garvin may leave behind broken lute strings while Thomas Frick may leave monsters’ teeth.

To forge a letter, the player must first steal a lengthy piece of writing from a faction then study it once a day for 3 in-game days with each study session taking 10 real-time seconds. Afterward, the player can mimic the faction’s handwriting and language style.

Upon reaching a Hypixel Studios member or their base, the member will be suspicious of the player’s arrival (especially if the player is LT because of his green hair), thinking someone’s intruding into Hypixel Studios’s secrets. The player must keep the letter in their hotbar or the member will attack after 30 seconds.

However, the member remains slightly suspicious since the player was only recently entrusted with permission while everyone else got permission many years ago. Out of fear that the player may be a spy for Midori Gurin, the member asks the player to do a bunch of random quests. The standard bounty-hunting stuff, I reckon.

Once the player fully earns the member’s trust, the player can ask them to reveal the location of the Midori currently on the field, including her equipment and base locations. The player can choose whether to keep this Midori highlighted or not, kinda like Yandere Vision but with infinite range. This saves the player from the hassle of scouting Midori at the cost of allowing her to acquire powerful equipment, so Hypixel Studios may compensate by providing the player with a powerful equipment set of the player’s choice. (I imagine the player might become a murder hobo and kill the Hypixel Studios member to get all the equipment anyway, but good luck dealing with the additional mooks.)

Next parts involve KOing Midori, kidnapping her, interrogating her for the Midori clone lab location, then going through a brutal dungeon crawl akin to what I talked about in my Hytale Hunger Games post.

Upon entering the lab, all reserve Midoris will be unleashed. Although they have no equipment besides regular clothing, they are all roughly as strong as Raibaru except with heavily increased magic resistance for balance purposes. (AoE spells can cheese fights against melee attackers.) As such, this lab should only be entered once the player's gear are powerful enough to fight late-game bosses. At this point, these "Raibaru-like" Midoris will feel more like Elite Mooks.
To foreshadow how powerful the Midoris are and to give ill-equipped players second thoughts, the Midoris must make a dramatic entrance--maybe popping out of nowhere like ninjas. Afterward, they may groan, "Turn back in the name of YandereDev..."

The current Midori will teleport into the main chamber and defend it, seeing as she's the most well-equipped. She may arm the other clones with her excess gear.

Side Note: Joke Weakness

There’s an artwork of Midori on the beach with a lifesaver. I don’t know if that’s indicative of her swimming ability, but imagine: What if you were to fight Midori on a ship and you keelhaul her like the landlubber she is? Better get your warhammers and your Knockback enchantments ready…

Ah, screw it. As Gema Taku said, “[it] sounds totally imbalanced…it’ll probably be nerfed in the next patch!”

Midori Questions

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why do you want to kill me in Hytale?”

Aside from doing it because it's fun, I admit, along with the other difficult Hytale enemy posts I've done, I'm mostly motivated by ThirtyVirus who thinks Hytale should be difficult. What better way to enjoy what I think will be the greatest game of all time than to be Crazy-Prepared for it...and to download mods related to my other fandoms?

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Will there be an option to side with neither kinda like in Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation?”

I don’t feel like making such a story since I delayed this post and I don’t wanna further delay it.

Maybe the player can completely ignore Midori and Hypixel Studios and just watch them fight to the death. If their fights occur near your base, better have a Trump wall ready or push them away with a wind spell or something (the closest thing Hytale has to "Fus Ro Dah!").
The other idea I have is a murder hobo route where the player tries to KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why put in a lot of effort into the backstory?”

In addition to my notoriously detailed writing style which I’ve developed from over 2 years of blog writing and a year of making tactical forum posts on my former home Minecraft server, I don’t enjoy butchering an existing piece of fiction and disrespecting its creator(s) in the process. I don’t apply Mark Manson’s “don’t give a firetruck” and “don’t be needy” principles here because, in business, if your customers enjoy your product, you’ll sell more. The other way around applies if they don’t like it. I’m trying to be Crazy-Prepared for readers who are sticklers for detail…especially if some of those readers happen to be the original creators.

Now get outta my bedroom before I use you as a guinea pig for testing my assassination techniques.

Thoughts of No Gyms During the Wuhan Coronavirus Pandemic

DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional.

This blog post idea was "submitted" to me by my dad.

Unless otherwise specified, all infection numbers are from Johns Hopkins University.

I think I defy the "lazy gamer" stereotype. Before the Wuhan coronavirus pandemic, I often asked permission from Mom to go to Gold's Gym--usually 4 days a week. There's just something motivating and thrilling about consistently exercising a lot but I can't describe it other than being more motivated to become as strong as a video game character.

As a distance learner with few opportunities to physically hang out with friends and a former job as a family store volunteer (which I might get back after the pandemic), I was mostly stuck in my small house with a dark and gloomy bedroom, narrow and crowded corridors, and a blazing hot roof deck. Frankly, it gets boring to constantly look at my house for weeks in a row without stepping outside.

So, besides simply working out, going to Gold's Gym was my primary means of experiencing the outdoors. There's simply a lot more variation in the backgrounds and a lot more movement which feels like the kinds of worlds that tabletop RPG game masters and video game developers try to build. Speaking of video games, because Pokémon was my first ever video game, I was obsessed with exploration so I try to invoke the same feeling of freedom and variation in the real-life outdoors. Oh, and sometimes I sneak into the nearby park and jog there, pretending I'm looking for wild Pokémon or just raising my movement speed by speeding across natural terrain.

(Right now, since I'm addicted to Yandere Simulator, I'm running around at high speed and practicing parkour to pretend I'm trying to navigate Akademi High School as fast as I could. What better way to chase down my rivals?)

When the Wuhan coronavirus became a huge deal in March to the point where the vast majority of the world's countries went on quarantine/lockdown (I don't fully understand the differences between these two words), I optimistically thought, "Eh, screw it--this mess might be over in a few weeks!" I thought people were scared enough of the virus to take it seriously and eventually allow it to die down on its own, therefore allowing me to do the things I was eagerly waiting for: playing physical D&D with YoSquid, attending physical game dev classes, and, of course, going to Gold's Gym.

But no. As the weeks and months went on, the Wuhan coronavirus got worse and worse.

When Singapore reopened, it fell through the pitfall of allowing international traffic and caused a spike in infections that forced another lockdown...and prevented my friend NachoPizza from playing Pokémon GO. (Man, I'm so glad I visited Singapore on September 2019! One of the best travels I've ever had. Great food, awesome infrastructure, Gardens By the Bay, Universal Studios, archery, meeting with NachoPizza, among other things.)

The George Floyd protests began on May 26, 2020. And, y'know, protests are mass gatherings so guess what happened? From a 17k-25k cases-per-day trend in the United States, the numbers spiked to 31.6k on June 19 and continued to steadily rise for the most part. July 16 has so far the US's highest number of daily cases at 77.3k. Oh well, I suppose it's too much of a stretch to convince people to stop thinking about racism in the midst of this pandemic. (Disclaimer: I'm not an expert in politics and I don't enjoy debating about it.)

What about the Philippines? I admit I don't keep track of dates but between April and May, daily cases looked stagnant--Metro Manila had a somewhat strict quarantine protocol. It was slightly relaxed on May 16 but, at that time, I saw social media posts of heavy traffic on roads that often had it before the pandemic. On May 29, the daily cases spiked to 1k which I assume is due to Filipinos mentally exaggerating the relaxation of quarantine rules. On June 1, the quarantine was relaxed further to the point where many people can get back to work...and the daily cases stagnated again for the most part. I'm not sure what's with the spike of cases on July 5 other than what I've been hearing about the virus having mutated to more easily penetrate through the human body's natural defenses.

And this is not to mention the issues that have been causing outrage. The Anti-Terror Bill was a huge deal between April and June because...guess what? Leftists and Dilawan (Liberal Party) loyalists mistake it for treating government critics as terrorists. I'm glad it died down especially now that it's a law (freaking finally), but guess what the bigger issue is? The denial of a new franchise for TV network ABS-CBN for not paying the right taxes, for mistreating its employees, and because its owner is a dual citizen despite TV networks being mandated to be 100% Filipino-owned. Just check out this dumpster fire of a photo:

Nice social distancing, guys. 10/10.
Image from ABS-CBN News (you'd think they'd be the last ones to report this massive fail)

Well, looks like I'm not going to the gym anytime soon with these butthurt morons running around. I know some politically biased people refer to others they disagree with as "zombies" (or as conservatives use, "NPCs"), but with the Wuhan coronavirus running around, the derogatory term "zombie" has a whole new meaning. These "zombies" not only spread their political beliefs but also a literal virus.

Okay, let's cut to the chase because describing this virus over and over like I'm doing school work makes me feel like a Captain Obvious.

In short, I want myself to go back to the gym because gyms feel more comfortable than my house, but for everyone's safety, I want gyms to stay closed.

Sounds weird, but let me explain starting with why I want to go back.

I do tasks best when the atmosphere is geared towards a specific activity. For example, I study best in a classroom or library, I work best in an office, and, of course, I exercise best in a gym. Many factors come into play to form a gym atmosphere, including but not limited to gym equipment (obviously), dance, hip-hop, or rock music, people running around or lifting weights, and big men teaching smaller men to get strong.

Working out at home is mega boring. Our house is so narrow that there's only so much furniture and personal belongings that can be placed before it feels more like a warehouse than a proper shelter. And it's not just the interior that's stuffed--the entire house (besides my paternal grandma's part) is. The roof deck, which has the largest floor area, is the only viable place to work out but I don't like it because, #1, running around feels like I'm not using my full potential because I have to slow down to turn around without slipping on the tiled floor; #2, again, it's blazing hot in the day; #3, Mom and Dad go up there to work and they dislike my sweaty smell; and #4, Ivann goes up there as well for solitude or to play with our dog (who I hate). Our punching bag is placed near a corner where people coming from the gate, main interior, or roof deck pass through, so there's a much higher risk of hitting someone by accident, in addition to the random clutter.

Leaving gyms closed, for me, is a greater priority than my desire to go back. A lot of touching of the same objects is involved in a public gym. I think it's common knowledge at this point that touching an infected person or whatever that person touched causes contraction of the Wuhan coronavirus. As a hygiene-conscious person, I learned to always wash my hands after touching anything that is either from outdoors or was most likely touched by another person other than a family member...even before the pandemic. In this pandemic, however, it's difficult to trust strangers to observe health standards.

Side Notes

• To be honest...I'm reluctant to write this blog post mainly because I dislike Dad. I know, it's weird logic, but I can't help myself.
  Dad is a Captain Obvious who works at the Department of Redundancy Department--he repeatedly gives me instructions on tasks I already know and are easy to figure out. Sometimes, he repeats these instructions within less than a minute. (If I really don't know, I would ask.) 
  He's a hypocritical Moral Guardian--he gets dismayed at almost any form of video game violence I mention but he enjoys games like the Call of Duty series. (Yes, he still does this even though I'm 21 years old and not actively hurting anyone because of violent video games. Well...at least he doesn't know the No Russian controversy.)
  I only give firetrucks about my dad because I still live with my parents and don't have a stable job. As such, I have the household responsibilities of a typical teenager. If I lived the ideal life with my own house, I'd only let Dad stay at most 7 days every month only to either have a temporary home or to participate in family occasions, not because "it's my responsibility" or "he's weak and needs support". A pension can take care of the latter. (Don't ask me how old my parents are.)
• This post was originally going to be my idea of Yandere Simulator's Midori Gurin as a Hytale enemy but I realized it was my most difficult blog post idea due to the following factors:
• Because of Midori's infinite clones, I'm turning Midori's clones into an entire faction similar to my deadeye pigeon faction idea. Like with the pigeons, I'm writing a backstory to try to match the depth of an official Hytale faction.
• Hytale Adventure Mode is in a medieval fantasy setting while Yandere Simulator is in a modern setting.
• I want to respect the creators of both games so I don't want to excessively butcher the official lore, especially characters' personalities. Both Hypixel Studios and YandereDev have gone through waves of hate (especially YandereDev) so I don't want to disrespect them and slow down the development of their games in the process.
• My brother Ivann is borrowing my PC.
• SPOILERS BELOW THIS. Private-message me on Facebook or Twitter if you want to discuss spoilers. Do not do it in the comments section.
• While drafting the backstory, I noticed many inconsistencies and sometimes rewrote large chunks of the backstory from scratch to get rid of the inconsistencies. I even wrote an entirely new backstory! Before, I had a Midori that knew everything about Yandere Simulator...without ever actually encountering YandereDev or going to Akademi High School!
• I need "balanced" reasons for any player to join either the Midori clones or the Hypixel Studios faction. So far, there's no benefit to joining the Midoris other than my Author Avatar's personal reason: to use the Akademi High portal so I can kill the characters I hate like Megami Saikou.

Ranking the Yandere Simulator Rivals from Worst to Best Waifus

Now I think that's gangsta.
(Ayano's face, hair, and uniform can be given custom textures.)

Can I snipe the bad rivals with a bow or javelin in Hytale, plz?

WARNING: This post contains brutal murder (only in writing) and sexual themes.

Disclaimer: I have not read every single piece of official Yandere Simulator lore.

Unless otherwise specified, Senpai is male.

I’ll keep this quick since I suck at introductions. I recently got my gaming laptop’s RAM upgraded to 8 GB, so now that my PC isn’t using my slow-as-a-turtle HDD as improvised “RAM”, I can run many apps much faster, including Minecraft, Unity, and, of course, the ever-notorious Google Chrome. Most relevantly, I can play Yandere Simulator at last! Now I get to unleash my frustrations on virtual people who get in the way of my virtual love life! Mwahahahaha! (LT's Mom heard a giggle...and she's mad.)

Rules

·       This ranking is based purely on my tastes on the rivals as potential romantic partners for me. How well-made they are as characters is not counted since this is not a story review (though I have a leaning-positive impression on Kizana and Hanako).

·       I will assume that none of the rivals have a crush on anyone; otherwise, there would be love triangle issues that would make me likely to give them a brutal lecture or a beating. However, Osana can keep her childhood friendship with Senpai and Hanako remains overprotective of Senpai.

·       Each rival has a “Kill or Spare?” subsection. This determines whether or not my Author Avatar will kill a rival. (In real life, though, I won’t kill any of them—I’d just beat up the ones I’d kill otherwise.)

Well then, let’s get started.

The “They All Suck” Group

These are rivals who I hate so much that, even with their redeeming qualities (if any), I wouldn’t even dare get close to or engage in conversation with them…unless I’m angry at them.

#10: Megami Saikou

Let’s get one thing out of the way first. She’s lawful to the core which contrasts sharply with my chaotic alignment. (I’m not sure what her moral alignment is, but I’m leaning neutral.)

Second, I’m a yandere too and my Author Avatar is an assassin, mercenary, thief, and illegal arms trafficker. Since my blog is public, Megami can learn these traits very quickly like my friend and classmate Alyanna did.

Third, because I’m inferior to her in a lot of ways like many other people, I don’t want to be pressured by Megami to be roughly as good as she is. Life experiences can influence someone’s personality such as Gordon Ramsay being a Drill Sergeant Nasty chef because his cooking instructor was one and me trying to be a Nice Guy because I live with family members who have Hair-Trigger Tempers.

Fourth, even if she wasn’t a lawful Mary Sue, I wouldn’t consider Megami as “beautiful” as she is in-universe. I don’t like her big…chest area. I’m not a fan of the hair. But hey, at least she isn’t ugly so I’ll let her keep the in-universe beauty.

Sorry, YandereDev, even though I know Megami is your favorite rival.

Kill or Spare? Definitely KILL ‘cause I hate her so much! Or better yet, consume her a la Prototype so I can get her Mary Sue powers! Mwahahahaha!
However, my Author Avatar lacks superpowers and he’s not confident enough in his training so he’ll use underhanded tactics to kill Megami such as stealthily throwing a bottle at her a la The Last of Us then using the time she’s stunned to quickly thrust with an improvised spear made with a rake handle and a knife attached with duct tape. Alternatively, he can just wait for Megami to leave school then sneak-attack with a bow (which I think would be otherwise banned in Akademi High School).
I’d only spare Megami if I know for sure I can’t defeat her even with hundreds of Elite Mooks and me at my maximum power—that includes Super Strength, Super Speed, Super Toughness, and knowledge of magic.

Side note: Notice how “Megami Saikou” and “Mary Sue” have the same initials: MS.
Coincidence or not? You decide.

#9: Osoro Shidesu

No surprise here. Osoro is a delinquent who’s described as “violent”.

Though I am roguish, Osoro to me looks way too roguish. Other than toughness and her inspiring the other current delinquents to join her, she has no redeeming qualities that I can think of.

Kill or Spare? Kill for a noble purpose because Osoro was suspended for something “gravely serious” and for the challenge because she’s as strong as Raibaru Fumetsu, former leader of the Martial Arts Club. However, I’d use the same tactics as I would with Megami. Osoro wields what looks to me like a shinai (practice sword) so I think a spear would have a weapon triangle advantage which is exacerbated by my high HP, Strength, Speed, and Defense (especially Speed).
I’d only spare Osoro if I can somehow convince her to only fight the bad guys…which I don’t feel like doing because I don’t enjoy reasoning with chaotic-to-the-core people.

Side note: Osoro looks to me like a female Street Fighter character. Notice how many Street Fighter characters are super muscular...even some of the women (Chun-Li and Cammy being well-known examples). Just look at Osoro's chunky thigh.

#8: Mida Rana

This teacher looks to me like she has “thot” written all over her. Get her off me.

Problem is, supposedly “no man has ever been able to resist her charms” (emphasis added). I’d consider myself very capable of Ignoring the Fanservice but with a description like this sounding almost magical, I’m kind of nervous about me falling for Mida Rana anyway. It’s best if I keep my distance…and hopefully never encounter her (or anyone like her in real life) in class.

I reckon I’d be a better substitute teacher anyway than her…and yes, I’m willing to give Senpai or my waifu private lessons, especially in English, Math, PE, Authority, Bows, Brawling, and Lances.

Kill or Spare? Kill ‘cause I hate thots.

Side note: When I first looked up the Yandere Simulator voice actors, Mida Rana’s voice actress, Marissa Lenti, was the only familiar name to me. She voiced Cooltrainer Gaven and Whiskers the Nidoran♀ in Shippidge’s “Starter Squad” series.

#7: Kizana Sunobu

Nope, I hate snobs. My paternal grandma is one.

Kizana’s jealousy and intense desire to be liked are massive red flags for neediness. If I had no choice but to be in a romantic relationship with her and I can’t fight back either peacefully or violently, I’d imagine I’d be spending the vast majority of my time reluctantly watching her films and “praising” her instead of developing games.

And Kizana doesn’t like memes. How the fudge would you be able to relate with the audience if you can’t understand people’s culture?
She doesn’t like sports or violence either. Good luck playing a physically strong Action Girl.

Her possible redeeming quality is that she has the second-highest test scores (first being Megami who always aces tests, third being Asu) though YandereDev only said the word “probably”, not a "100% sure" word like "definitely". For now, I won’t make any solid judgments as to Kizana’s or Asu’s intelligence, though because Megami is a Mary Sue, her test scores are justified.

Another possible redeeming quality is Kizana insisting on originality, though I’m skeptical in case that is only because Kokona is “stealing” Kizana’s hairstyle and does not apply to situations that don’t concern her. I think sometimes I have awful originality.

Other than these potential qualities, I have nothing else in mind. Kizana sucks as a waifu.

Kill or Spare? Mixed, though I’m leaning Kill largely because of Kizana’s resemblance to my paternal grandma and its maid. Among the rivals I want to kill, she’s the easiest because she’s incapable of self-defense—a simple 3-hit boxing combo with slightly inadequate technique, I imagine, is enough to KO her, especially if I target her formerly broken bone. (If a lower body bone was broken, I can simply substitute one punch with a Muay Thai push kick or shin kick.) Keep in mind, I’m chaotic neutral so I give no firetrucks about fighting unfairly.
For the Spare part, I’d do so if I’m in a good mood. She’s not dangerous.

#6: Muja Kina

While her only redeeming quality is being a loving and caring nurse, it’s neutralized by being horribly stupid! How the heck did she even become a nurse? Yeah, she’s high-maintenance. I’d rather learn to tend to my own injuries than waste time giving her Training From Hell of the Khan Academy kind.

Plus, medical professions are risky jobs. Even if Muja Kina was smart (and was less of a fanservice girl), I still wouldn’t get into even a friendship with her because, if my mere presence wastes her time, people might literally die. Fuck you, Chinese Communist Party, for letting the Wuhan coronavirus spread.

Kill or Spare? Spare. Killing medical personnel is a war crime and, even if it isn’t, she’s too nice of a person. Some Training From Hell may be enough to make her not as ditzy as before. I’d only kill her if she continues to be a nurse and lets many people die in the process.

#5: Hanako Yamada

If Fire Emblem YouTuber Mangs sorted Hanako in a waifu tier list, I think he would put her in the Jail tier (i.e. you’ll go to jail if you romance her) because she’s childish. He’s done the same to playable Manaketes (dragon people that are typically 1000+ years old but look like human children) and characters that are technically adult humans but look like children to him, like Beruka.

Hanako, I think, would be a high-maintenance romantic partner because, again, she’s childish. I don’t feel like wasting time giving her Training From Hell of the “adulting” kind.

Also, she’s laser-focused on protecting Senpai anyway so her having a boyfriend would divide her attention big-time.

Kill or Spare? Spare. I don’t have any personal beef with Senpai and I appreciate how Hanako is protective of her brother. I’d only kill her if she stupidly insists I’m a threat to Senpai and she won’t firetruck off after a non-lethal beating.

Side note: I find it amusing that Hanako currently looks ordinary compared to most female students kinda like how her brother Senpai is average at almost everything.

I will admit though that this shot of Hanako nuzzling Senpai is very cute.
i wish my niece did this to me too (intentional bad grammar)
Footage from "Revealing the Identity of the Mysterious Obstacle in Yandere Simulator"

The “OK But Still Sucky” Group

These are rivals with redeeming qualities that are valuable in a romantic relationship with me but still have glaring flaws. I’m willing to engage in conversation with them, however, if they’re willing to be respectful.

#4: Oka Ruto

No, this has nothing to do with a…particular fanservice-y pillowcase that YandereDev is selling.

Mark Manson, I think, would say no immediately to someone like Oka Ruto. TV Tropes described Oka as “shy, insecure, [and] wants to have friends,” which are clear warning signs of neediness.
I honestly don't get why Oka is so endearing to Yandere Simulator fans (even YandereDev thinks Oka is cute) considering my "edgy intellectual" personality, but I'm chill with them liking her.

Her redeeming quality, though? She’s one-third based on Tharja from Fire Emblem Awakening and I’m a Fire Emblem fan. Of the magic types in the Fire Emblem series, I think I have the strongest affinity for dark magic because I’m chaotic and formerly evil. Talking to her might teach me a thing or two about dark magic, but I don’t know if Mark Manson would also consider that “neediness”… Man, I’m such a thief.

Kill or Spare? Spare. She doesn’t seem dangerous or annoying. Only Ayano can successfully utilize the dark arts.
If Oka successfully summons a demon or whatever, I’ll be ready to kill…but how? Though I have the potential to use magic in general, I’ll always be incapable of using light magic due to my former evil alignment and the fact I still do evil things frequently (about as often as I do good things). Oh well, good thing my Author Avatar knows how to make improvised weapons, sooo…cheese the fight with a bow, I guess? (Hey, I'm only bringing this bow to kill the demon! Honest!)
And since Gema Taku, leader of the Gaming Club, referenced the Leeroy Jenkins video by mentioning the 32.33% chance of survival, I’m gonna say…LEEROY JENKINS!

#3: Osana Najimi

I don’t like tsunderes. Osana, at least in tsuntsun mode, is not honest with people, which is the total opposite of vulnerability in relationships.

Her redeeming quality is, if she warms up to someone, she can be genuinely nice. I just don’t feel like having to endure the tsuntsun part.

Kill or Spare? Spare. Again, I have nothing against Senpai and Osana isn’t dangerous, though the tsundere personality gives me second thoughts. If Osana hates on me and her friend Raibaru gets involved, I’ll be ready to kill.

Side note 1: "The Final Stage of Osana's Development" showcased Ayano taking panty shots with Osana's phone then reporting Osana to the guidance counselor. I wonder: What if Ayano took a shot of her own panties as well to cover up the act?
This was inspired by a Valentine's Day scheme by Greg Heffley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid where, while his classmates were sending Valentine's notes, Greg sent brutally honest notes like "Dear James, You smell." without putting Greg's name at the end. He also wrote himself a note to cover up the act: "Dear Greg, I hate your guts." I wonder who's the one student he didn't write a note to if any...

Side note 2: I'm normally indifferent towards Osana's appearance but I can't help but think Morgan Want who played Osana in Random Encounters's "Senpai Notice Me" music video looks great. And when Ayano "shoved her phone up Osana's skirt", Osana's face looked funny.

And Senpai is just like, "The heck happened to you?"
Footage from "Senpai Notice Me" by Random Encounters

The Actually Good Group

These are rivals that have good-quality character traits that are worthy of the title “romantic partner”. Their flaws, if any, are small and/or tolerable.

#2: Asu Rito

No surprise here because of my Athletic trait. I think training with someone else will make training way more fun. (Stop being needy, LT!)

She’s also cheerful and I’m cheerful at times, sometimes to the point of being a Large Ham. This can lead to some intense celebratory moments. You bet I’d loudly cheer for her if we were in a relationship and she took part in a sporting event.

Aside from her tomboyish appearance, she doesn’t like gaming and reading. Gaming is okay since I regularly talk to non-gamer friends, but reading? Oh well, maybe I can just show her YouTube videos. Kinda reminds me of Raphael from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. At least Asu is not stated to be stupid.

Kill or Spare? Spare. I relate too much to her for me to even attack her unless she’s okay with sparring.

Side note 1: I hope Asu's character will be expanded further 'cause I had a hard time describing her.

Side note 2: I find it funny that, despite Asu supposedly being able to win Olympic medals within a few years, Osoro has a much stronger body build. Where did Osoro get her Street Fighter-size body? Street fighting a lot, maybe? How long did it take to build this much muscle while still being in high school? At least I think Asu's body looks more realistic compared to many real muscle women.

#1: Amai Odayaka

The least surprising since I look for genuinely nice girls. And she packs utility too—she can cook! Supposedly "nothing makes her happier than seeing people enjoy the food that she has prepared," so what if I show her my Big Eater side?

A very minor quality, but she has green eyes. Green is my favorite color.

Problem is, I consider myself very bad at cooking because I need babysitting to cook something other than rice and quick-cook meals like instant noodles. As someone who is the hyper-competitive leader type when I’m not feeling lazy, I expect myself to be The Ace and the one who does most of the work in any group I create or join (unless it’s school work). Because Amai is excellent at cooking, I have to learn cooking too (preferably not from her unless she offers it first) so I won’t be The Load to her. Or maybe I can just watch her cook… Mwahahahaha!

Doesn’t like gaming? Okay. Doesn’t like violence? Aw, man. I can’t say for sure if Amai is a pacifist, but I believe that violence is sometimes the only way to achieve peace. Then again, I gotta come clean and say I’m training to become a hero.

Kill or Spare? Spare, obviously! She’s way too nice for me to kill her! I’d only kill her if, #1, I have no idea who she is as a person and someone pays for my mercenary services, or #2, I discover a flaw in her that makes her dangerous or drives me to intense hatred.
If someone hires me to kill Amai Odayaka but I know who she is and she’s not a bad person, I’d take the payment then report the client to the cops.

Side note: I think Amai's gender-flipped version has a very handsome voice to go along with his handsome face and hair. He's so gentle, I'd gladly decorate his cheesecake. If I didn't have to compete against him for the same love interest, I'd cheer on him if he expresses romantic feelings.

Some Non-Rival Characters

These are in alphabetical order, not worst to best.

Ayano Aishi (Yandere-chan)

Nope, I don’t dare date a killer. Her mother taught her how to be a pro yandere at an early age, so naturally, she knows some roguish techniques. That ain’t vulnerable at all.

Kill or Spare? Spare. I know this is weird, but let me explain. I don’t feel comfortable killing a protagonist, especially because everyone who has played Yandere Simulator has played with Ayano at some point and some have developed an emotional attachment towards her. The least I would do is beat her up then warn Senpai there’s a killer on the loose. If someone hired me to kill Ayano, however, I would gladly do it regardless of her protagonist status.
However, because Ayano can potentially eliminate almost any human character in Akademi High School and commune with demons, she’s the hardest to kill.

Side note: This Ken Sugimori-esque artwork of Pokémon Trainer Ayano Aishi by Yandere Simulator artist kjech is freaking amazing. I love how it stays true to the general designs of Pokémon game protagonists. If I had to build a team for her, it will be the following (movesets not included because I'm not a competitive battler--go to Smogon for those):

• Liepard
• Grimmsnarl
• Mimikyu
• Rotom (regular)
• Roserade
• Pheromosa

Basu Sisters

These are Inkyu Basu and Sakyu Basu.

I'm not a fan of their "sexy female anime villain" appearances. However, I'd stalk them to find out if they really are a vampire and a succubus respectively.

Kill or Spare? Spare...sort of. They're not dangerous or annoying and they're kinda minor characters for now, I think. Instead, I'd beat them up to hopefully unleash the vampire and succubus within them, respectively.

Side note: Kira Buckland, the voice of Eirika and Katarina in Fire Emblem Heroes, voiced Inkyu Basu in the "Midori vs Oka" animation uploaded by Mom0ki. Emirichu voiced Sakyu Basu in a video by Tijey Ri.

Whenever I look at voice credits, I mainly scan for familiar names from Fire Emblem Heroes 'cause I'm such a Fire Emblem fanboy.

Emirichu is great too—her anime-style voices like in "6 MORE Annoying Anime Tropes" and her 10th-grade manga are nicely on point. She even gets voice acting from CDawgVA who I'm trying to learn from.

Info-chan

I'm not a fan of her as a waifu. Info-chan looks to me like a villainous Watch_Dogs protagonist. She's also a Jerkass--when the player disables tutorials, she tells the player she'll "laugh her ass off" when the player gets a game over because they didn't know what to do.

Kill or Spare? Kill mainly to take the Info Club room. There must be a lot of juicy intel and loot in there... Mwahahahaha!

Unlike the headmaster, I wouldn't give any firetrucks about kicking down the door and rushing Info-chan head-on. Let's see how "impregnable" your "fortress" really is.

Side note: In real life, I serve as a pseudo-Info-chan for my UPOU classmates and those who are interested in Hytale. Since I'm in my fourth and last year of college, I know a solid amount about my professors and how they teach and give tests. As for Hytale, I stalk the Hypixel Studios staff regularly.

(My Author Avatar's currency? No, not panty shots. It's weapons.)

Kokona Haruka

Also known as Boobs McKenzie by Markiplier and his viewers.

I appreciate how loyal she is to her friend Saki Miyu and, if successfully matchmade, her boyfriend Riku Soma.

Buuut she does compensated dating to pay for her father’s debt so she’s got neediness written all over her and therefore is a big no-go. Also, I don’t like massive boobs.

Kill or Spare? Spare. Kokona is not dangerous (unless her friends are attacked) and is already a broken person to begin with.

Side note: I would still help Kokona as a wannabe hero though but in a way different from how Ayano pulls it off. I’d turn on Kuudere Mode™ and innocently make friends with Musume Ronshaku, find out where her father lives or works after several weeks or so, then rush head-on and threaten Mr. Ronshaku to call off the debt or suffer a horrible beating. Heck, because Mr. Ronshaku is described as a “greedy, selfish criminal who is completely willing to ruin other peoples' lives for his own financial gain”, I may declare a gang war against Ronshaku Loans (but spare Musume).

Kuu Dere

While I like Kuu Dere’s aqua hair color and 3 of her likes (reading, video games, and violence), I find those red eyes too menacing for a harmless non-Jerkass character. (Says the self-proclaimed Nice Guy who also has red eyes on his Author Avatar!) More importantly, though, I think she’s all “kuu” and no “dere”. Oh well, Kuu Dere is a minor character so I imagine expanding her character is lower-priority for YandereDev until he FREAKING FINISHES OSANA!!! (Just kidding with the playful impatience. I don’t wanna rush him.)

Kill or Spare? Spare. She’s not dangerous at all—she doesn’t like martial arts and is incapable of self-defense. She likes reading too.

Side note: I think saying Kuu Dere's lines in my own monotonous voice sounds amusing.

Mai Waifu

Mai Waifu is mildly amusing for me ‘cause she’s a walking pile of blatant anime tropes and because YandereDev is into women with big boobs—his waifu is Samus, his favorite Yandere Simulator supporting character is Ryoba Aishi, his favorite rival is Megami Saikou, and his favorite archetype is a super lewd lady, all of which have…y’know what I mean.

But Mai Waifu is a minor character with not enough traits (besides being a gamer and trying to be a cute anime character) to make me consider romancing her. Oh well, she probably has a crush on YandereDev anyway.

Kill or Spare? Spare. I simply have no reason to kill her…and if I did, YandereDev would probably brutally kill me.

Midori Gurin

I know it’s weird, but the main reason I have a crush on Midori is she blatantly has green written all over her, my favorite color is green, and I have a strange liking for girls with green on them. Her name literally means “Green Green”. I like her hair and face. I find Mom0ki's Midori voice charming. And Midori is a gamer.

But…she’s stupid. I know I get annoyed when I get asked questions that can be answered with little effort such as with a Web search.
So Midori is a no-go.

Kill or Spare? Spare. As annoying as she is to YandereDev, I don’t feel comfortable killing a fellow gamer in the Green Gang™. Plus, she isn’t all that bad to me!

Kill or Spare as Rival? Kill for the challenge because I’m a Blood Knight tactician. YandereDev said, if Yandere Simulator had DLC, Midori might be a rival who knows everything about Yandere Simulator’s mechanics and, therefore, may know how to counter every single tactic known in the game. She hasn’t seen my Author Avatar though, so she wouldn’t see his fists coming at her instead of a knife…
(Ayano can only use unarmed attacks in specific situations such as being attacked by delinquents, practicing martial arts, or being in SNAP mode. I can skillfully use unarmed attacks anytime regardless of sanity.)

Musume Ronshaku

I'm not a fan of the bullies' appearances in general. I'm not sure why, but I don't like their hairstyles and how they have different colors when viewed from in front. The clothes tied on their waists make me think they're fat (or at least overdesigned) even though they aren't.

This "uniform" is what comes to my mind when I see the bullies...though this is kind of an exaggeration.
From the Regular Show episode "Men in Uniform"

As for Musume in particular...I don't like spoiled brats 'cause they're typically lazy and look down upon "commoners".

Kill or Spare? Mixed, though I'm leaning Spare. This applies to all the bullies.

In-game, though, I'm willing to kidnap Musume to get that Kokona cutscene thing but I haven't perfected the technique. There's a boatload of steps and a boatload of running around involved! Argh!

Side note: I think the bullies' voice clips are epic. Try Gema Taku's task sometime. It involves talking to all five bullies.

Raibaru Fumetsu

I admit, TV Tropes convinced me to think that Raibaru is cute even though I wouldn't think otherwise because she was the former leader of the Martial Arts club and the current "personal bodyguard" of Osana, one of the rivals.

Note that I consider the Indestructible Rival videos (where Raibaru No-Sells attacks from Saitama and the Death Star...but Senpai gets killed by the Death Star) as non-canon. Those videos being canon would be unfair especially because Budo Masuta beat Raibaru and Ayano can do the same to Budo and the faculty.

Kill or Spare? Kill for the challenge. In addition to being exceptionally skilled at martial arts, Raibaru is one of few students who are almost always paired up with another (the other pair I'm aware of being the Basu sisters), kinda like my paired-up Kweebec strategy designed to counter enemy stealth tactics.

But how do I quietly split Raibaru and Osana apart using my Author Avatar's unique abilities instead of the standard Yandere Simulator tactics (where I'd choose to simply put emetic poison in Raibaru's food because I think it's funny when I make someone rush to the bathroom)?

For killing Raibaru, I was thinking of unleashing Death From Above with a thrown object because of the "It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!" meme and the fact the Flying type is super effective against the Fighting type because of said high ground as MandJTV stated, but considering Raibaru's "lightning-fast reflexes", maybe projectiles wouldn't work either. (This also means no archery.)
A better idea would be to sneak behind Raibaru and splash her with boiling water from a bucket because the wide area-of-effect makes it harder to dodge and it can be done from a slightly further distance than even a spear thrust. Once Raibaru is weakened, I think I can use my standard physical attacks. Maybe, to keep her staggered, I need to spam hammerfist attacks instead of using precise attacks like I usually do with my boxing trainer, Coach G-Force...

(I had trouble coming up with ideas to land the first hit on Raibaru because she is normally immune to melee stealth attacks so, before coming up with the boiling water idea, I lazily "commanded" BoltOLightnin to hit Raibaru with magic missiles which are difficult to block or dodge without magical defenses.)

Side note: Well, I'm gonna add Raibaru to the list of people that I want my 4-year-old niece to be more like in real life. At least I think Raibaru won't scare my niece...unlike when I showed her the super muscular Pugi Orsin's Hatchet Bhuj Vouge wielder Osian.

I can alternatively spare Raibaru and kidnap her then force her to train my niece in martial arts... That way, I can get back to developing games and smuggling weapons.

Ryoba Aishi (Ayano’s mother)

Mangs disregarded married women like Caeda and Louise in his waifu tier list and so will I. (Note that I don’t pursue anyone who’s already in a romantic relationship to begin with. I treat such women about the same as I treat boys.)

Her 1989 artwork looks…strangely cute and huggable to me because of her round-faced smile, as opposed to her daughter Ayano’s mostly stoic personality.

Note that me considering someone “cute” does not mean I have a crush on her. I reserve “cute” for some people with baby-like faces…like my niece.

Kill or Spare? Spare for a similar reason as Ayano plus Ryoba’s cuteness and utility for me as a thief. I want her to teach me her yandere ways…but if I have to get into a fight to do so, deal. I won’t play fair though—I’ll bring my spear and bow.

Student Council (excluding Megami)

These are Kuroko Kamenaga (Vice President, The Lancer), Akane Toriyasu (Secretary, The Chick), Aoi Ryugoku (Enforcer, The Big Guy), and Shiromi Torayoshi (Treasurer, The Smart Guy).

Starting with Kuroko, I don't like super serious people...mainly because I'm lazy and sometimes a jokester. Whenever she says "You're in my personal space" in-game, I feel a strange urge to smack her back.

Plus, she's now voiced by Kayli Mills, the same voice actress as my 2nd least favorite Genshin Impact waifu, Keqing.

Akane is the most chill of the bunch...I think. I might get screwed when Yandere Simulator is complete. I'll leave her with a neutral impression for now.

Though learning that she's voiced by Kira Buckland, just like Eirika from Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, is improving my impression a bit.

Oh ho ho, Aoi Ryugoku. The one who prefers physical intimidation as opposed to Kuroko's diplomatic style.

She's a no-go either. There are many times when I feel uncomfortable using my fists or raising my voice right off the bat such as in heated arguments with my friends and family, and I sure as heck wouldn't want someone who does such things on a regular basis.

Shiromi looks to me like a rival rogue...especially if the rumors about her spying on students are true.

Kill or Spare? (Dimitri's voice) KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! Screw these lawful punks!

Taeko Yamada (Female Senpai)

Taeko is a little similar to Ryoba Aishi appearance-wise thanks to the long black hair, but at least I think Taeko isn't "baby-like". Also, I like girls with slick hairstyles.

I'm curious though as to what she reads...

Kill or Spare? Spare. She's the other Senpai after all so I'm gonna take advantage!

TV Tropes considers Senpai a "Nice Guy" but only mentions him/her being "a kind and all-around decent guy", so I'll assume he/she is nice because he/she helped the yandere protagonist get up from a fall. Senpai also gets concerned when the yandere protagonist stays too close to Senpai while within sight. "Are you...okay?" "Can I...help you?"

Customization: Taeko can keep the standard Sailor Fuku outfit, though if I had to customize it, I'd give it a sky theme with light blue and turquoise colors to represent warmth and calmness.

The default hairstyle is fine, though I also like a single rear ponytail.

The hair and eye colors are tougher because I like multiple colors equally well on a girl: blonde, blue, green, pink, purple, and turquoise. Oh well, I always keep D&D dice in my sling bag so I can simply roll a d6...

I'm not a fan of eyewear and accessories so I won't give Taeko any.

As for the name, screw it, I'm keeping the original "Taeko Yamada". I don't feel comfortable naming in-game love interests for my Author Avatar. (Naming my fictional son "Conrad Tactician" felt way more comfortable.)

Side Section: Topics

Yandere Simulator has a topic mechanic that affects the matchmaking mechanic. Talking about a topic the other person likes increases success chance.

Anyway, since my Asperger’s syndrome causes me to like some topics more strongly than others, I’m using five categories instead of three. Also includes Fire Emblem: Three Houses and Hytale-related topics.

Loves	Likes	Neutral	Dislikes	Hates
Friends	Cosplay	Everything else	Family	School
Martial Arts1	Drama		Loan Sharks	(Guns)
Video Games	Gossip		(Faith)	[Outlanders]
(Lances)	Justice		(Heavy Armor)	[Razorleaf Rangers]2
	Memes			[Scaraks]
	Money			[Trorks]
	Occult			[Varyn]
	Reading
	Science
	Sports
	Violence
	(Authority)
	(Axes)
	(Bows)
	(Daggers)
	(Improvised Weapons)
	(Reason)
	(Swords)
	(Throwables)
	[Ferans]
	[Kweebecs]

¹ Also counts as Brawling.

² Razorleaf Rangers are a Kweebec archetype but my hatred of them is separate from all other known Kweebec archetypes.

(Daggers, guns, improvised weapons, and throwables like rocks and chairs are not in Three Houses.)

Some Other Midori Questions Just for Funzies

I think I can get away with this because Mom0ki said “impersonating a character is fine.” Mwahahahaha!

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why are you in the Martial Arts Club even though you’re a gamer?”
I mainly play single-player games and I can live without gamer friends—again, I regularly talk with friends who don’t play video games and know next to nothing about them.
I feel like I can learn more from fellow martial artists.
(Oh well, there's no "Game Development Club"...)

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why do you like me being green?”
Because my favorite Pokémon is Gallade and it has green on its head and blades. I also have a strange crush on girls who wear green…including you. I know it’s weird, but I can’t help it.

"LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! If you were a Yandere Simulator character, who would you be?"
In short, Budo Masuta.
If I can only pick from the rivals, it's Asu Rito.
If I can pick any combination of characters, it would be the following:

Character	Percentage	Reason
Budo Masuta	18%	I enjoy challenges, I’m sometimes enthusiastic, I repeatedly beat the best fighter (Coach G-Force) in the Gold’s Gym branch I go to, and I enjoy teaching boxing. Among the Fire Emblem: Three Houses skills, Brawling is my best.
Gema Taku	17.9%	Outside of my gym, I’m best known for my addiction to video games. I literally do or have done every single video game-related activity as stated in Gema’s profile on the official Yandere Simulator website. When teaching martial arts, I sprinkle gaming terms like "dash attack", "spamming", and "strafing".
Asu Rito	11.1%	I have the Athletic trait, a Large Ham voice, and a cheerful and motivational attitude.
Ayano Aishi/Yandere-kun	6%	I’m a yandere, I’m roguish, and I’m proficient in Deception and Stealth. At high sanity, I favor quick and precise attacks (i.e. jabs, shin kicks) while at low sanity, I favor heavy armor-breaking attacks (i.e. hammerfists, hopping side kicks). I also have a SNAP mode that allows me to KO someone in one punch while being extremely resistant to bludgeoning damage and grappling.
Hanako Yamada	5%	I’m childish, clingy towards my niece (I nuzzle her), and protective of my friends.
Info-chan	5%	I stalk Hypixel Studios and provide information to my classmates about my professors and the school work they give.
Kizana Sunobu	5%	I’m snobbish, I’m a wannabe voice actor, I roleplay a lot at home and during conversations, and I somewhat care about my physical appearance (especially hygiene).
Osoro Shidesu	5%	I’m roguish and strong, I give few firetrucks about rules, and I sometimes talk tough, but while I imagine Osoro to be proficient in Swords, I instead have a budding talent in them.
YandereDev	5%	I speak in an almost monotonous voice when narrating scripts for formal videos or audio clips, I get annoyed when people ask me stupid questions whose answers can be easily found through other means (like a Web search), I’m thinking of using organic game design in my own game like he did, and I regularly say uncensored F-words when I’m alone.(YandereDev swears in Twitch streams.)
Amai Odayaka	4%	I have a Nice Guy reputation and I rarely blow up when I’m angry, but I think I suck at cooking. (Mom enjoys my cooking though.)
Megami Saikou	4%	I may not be affiliated with a mega-corporation but I helped my mom run a small family business, I’m smart and strong, and I’m extremely protective of my Hytale allies.
Muja Kina	3%	I have Chronic Hero Syndrome, I used to play healing classes in RPGs, and I almost always carry bandages, insect repellent, and rubbing alcohol in my sling bag.
Osana Najimi	3%	I’m a tsundere towards my dad; I dislike doing favors for him and show him a hostile attitude, but I still have some respect for him as a parent. Outside of the family, Alyanna has called me a tsundere.
Midori Gurin	2%	Both of us like green and enjoy eating green veggies…but my Author Avatar has red eyes and wears a blue tie and either blue or purple pants—I haven’t finalized the design. Does it count if I tag some Hypixel Studios members on Twitter and they reply? (Hey, at least they haven’t tried to kill me!)
Oka Ruto	1.5%	While I’m normally a Magically Inept Fighter, once I learn magic, I discover an affinity for dark magic due to my chaotic and formerly evil alignment. Other than magic, I was a shy boy as a younger teen.
Kuu Dere	1%	I can pull off a “meh, I don’t care” attitude easily even when I’m guilty.
Mida Rana	0.5%	I think I’m good at complimenting the looks of both boys and girls but I hate being lewd.
Kaga Kusha	0.5%	I was a Child Prodigy and I used to want to be a mad scientist as a kid. Right now, I still do Evil Laughs despite my chaotic neutral alignment.
Kuroko Kamenaga	0.5%	When I see friends or co-workers fighting, I like to help them make a compromise. I have been criticized for being too formal…and rightfully so, especially if the person calling me that is someone I barely know or respect.
Riku Soma	0.5%	Filipinos associate foreign accents and faces, as well as exceptional English skill, with a rich person. Though I’m really only middle-class, I speak in a mix of casual and formal lingo which, in addition to my natural American accent, can give the impression of a noble. (I struggle to do a British accent like Riku does, however.) Also, between cats and dogs, I prefer cats.
Ryoba Aishi	0.5%	I can talk about my former or current love interests (either positively or negatively) for very long. As a baby, I looked a lot like my niece.
Saki Miyu	0.5%	Of the bread variants in my mom’s bakery franchise, the one I like the most is the cheese bread with sugar and margarine topped on it—Saki likes sweets. However, I haven’t tested if, like when Kokona is killed in front of Saki, my combat stats rise drastically when a friend of mine is attacked in real life.
Shima Shiya	0.5%	I know some WWE moves like Roman Reigns’s Superman Punch and Spear and I’ve done a successful DDT on my brother. However, I use WWE moves for practical purposes instead of being flashy.

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! If  you can only choose a club other than the Gaming Club or Martial Arts Club, what would you choose?”

Personal Choices
Club/Group	Percentage	Reason
Cooking	30%	I suck at cooking. I feel like I have a moral obligation to learn to cook as an adult, especially because I’m a hopeless romantic.
Drama	25%	I want to do voice acting for my game and I want to get good at writing fictional stories.
Art	20%	I need to know how to draw to properly convey to my future employees/co-workers what I want my graphics to look like.
Gardening	10%	When the apocalypse hits, I need to know how to grow food. This will increase my versatility since I already know how to fight.
Sports	7%	I need to increase my stamina and movement speed.
Occult	5%	To learn dark magic and finally expand my fighting style beyond physical attacks.
Student Council	3%	To drop the Student Council’s guard so that it’s easier for me to KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!

In-Game Tactical Choices
Club/Group	Percentage	Reason
Student Council	55%	Like I said before, “KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!”
Sports	40%	I run around a LOT in Akademi High School. Sometimes, it feels like playing GTA without a vehicle. Running faster makes completing general tasks (and evading detection) a lot easier.
Science	3%	Cleaning up blood is a bore chore. I haven’t mastered quickly cleaning with a regular mop. (Note that these chances are much smaller because the Befriend elimination method is my favorite—I’m unlikely to use lethal elimination methods.)
Drama	2%	An alternative club I’d join only for eliminating Megami Saikou.

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why do you want to use a bottle instead of a brick on Megami Saikou?”

Though bottles and bricks are functionally similar when thrown in both The Last of Us and Part II, I'm gonna use my D&D-style reasoning for this one. A brick would only deal bludgeoning damage like an unarmed strike or baseball bat attack does. A bottle would deal two types of damage: bludgeoning (initial impact) and piercing (from the glass shards that fly all over the place after the initial impact). Piercing damage can cause bleeding which can further increase the damage I inflict with my punches and spear attacks.
If you're talking about using a brick because it lasts for 3 strikes while a bottle only lasts 1, well, the brick's 3 durability only applies to melee attacks. Because I'm a dirty fighter and I assume Megami to be roughly as good at combat as, say, John Wick, I rely on sneaky ranged attacks to gain a head-start. (I think I can get away with bringing empty wine bottles for a "science project".)

What Megami Saikou's face will look like after my first attack.
Gun not included.
Footage from o Knightz o's "25 INSANE Details in The Last of Us Part II"

Edit: Just found out that Megami can catch thrown knives. I'm assuming this applies to any small projectile as well, so RIP arrows, bottles, and bricks. (Megami can simply dodge larger thrown objects like benches, I bet.)

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! How will you successfully fake a 'science project' with wine bottles?”
How 'bout you do a Web search instead of asking me?
Nah, just kidding, I have a good answer for you. I'm gonna tell Budo Masuta that I'm only pretending to leave the Martial Arts Club so I can get into the Science Club for a while. Then I'll convince the club members to do an actual project while taking pictures so it looks legit. After the project, I'll leave the Science Club but keep bottles in my bag or locker in case "I get called for another science project." In case the faculty or Student Council investigates the Science Club's papers, I'll write some fake schedules for "wine bottle projects".
I also need to use bottles with different labels: one label for doing projects and one for combat. After using my "combat" bottle to help kill a target, I'll slip another "combat" bottle into a Science Club member's bag or locker or something to frame them for a crime. If someone asks me if I did the crime, I'd show them my "project" bottles and say, "Naw, man! That can't be my bottle! These are what my bottles look like!" (I feel like saying that excuse in my cartoony voice but I wonder if my kuudere voice would be more effective...)
Man, suddenly I feel more ready than ever to jump into Hytale and cause some mayhem with my roguish skills.

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! What if you could craft a bow and arrows in Akademi High School?”
Good question, Midori...for once. I like archery.
Maybe I can steal some wooden branches from the Gardening Club? Then I'll steal maybe some nylon from the sewing room.
Arrows are the more challenging part. I could do the "duct-tape a knife onto a wooden handle" thing like I did with my improvised spear but that would make the arrow very front-heavy. I suppose scissor blades would work. If the Cooking Club has a whetstone, I'll totally use it to sharpen my blades.
The cool thing about being a yandere archer is, according to Shereen et al. (2018), "injured [blood] vessels [caused by arrow wounds] would rarely hemorrhage." Because of the little (if any) blood spilled by an arrow kill, it'll be very easy to get rid of the evidence.
Man, I know YandereDev wants to limit the weapons to only those that can be reasonably found in a school, but dang, I'm pretty proud of myself for imagining plausibly crafting medieval fantasy-style weaponry in this otherwise mundane modern-day setting. Sucks though that, as far as I know, there's no crafting in Yandere Simulator besides a custom-fit uniform for Kokona.
(This doesn't mean I want bows and arrows added to Yandere Simulator. They'd be a Game-Breaker because of the range advantage against all NPCs because they can only attack from close range.)

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why are you roleplaying me?”
Because it’s a trait of Asperger’s syndrome and I have a tiny bit of experience as a D&D Dungeon Master. I also find you amusing when you appear in YandereDev’s videos.

And you even look cute in this shot from "The Origin of Midori Gurin".

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why am I saying your name twice like I usually do with YandereDev, YandereDev?”
So…you’re telling me…you don’t know what you’re doing? Well, that confirms your stupidity. Too bad for you, I know why: because I wrote this roleplay, dang it! I wanna keep the Running Gag. Also, you did say something (non-canon) other than “YandereDev, YandereDev!” in your usual voice: “Ambassador Johnson Disease, Ambassador Johnson Disease!”

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why do you find me amusing in YandereDev, YandereDev’s videos?”
This is the part where I tell you to (James Heller’s voice) shut up and die. *crits Midori with Killer Lance*
The wild MIDORI fainted!

…

“LunaticTactician, LunaticTactician! Why’d you kill me?”
AAARRRGGGHHH!!! *bashes Midori clone on wall*
Hold on while I lock all my doors and have my mooks secure the area.

...

Now that Midori is gone...
I've hatched a plan to kill her...on the next episode of Yandere Simulator!
I'm kidding a little. For real, though, my blog post for next week will be something I'm better at: a Hytale crossover with Yandere Simulator where I lay out my anti-Midori tactics! Hehehahahahaha...
Man, will I ever run out of new Hytale enemy ideas?

Also, can I have a keyboard with Midori's face on it so I can enjoy breaking it when I rage in video games? Just kidding—I'll never break a real keyboard. I have a punching bag at home anyway so I can put Midori's face there instead.

Edit: The Hytale crossover will be delayed to an unknown time. I'm going double-time on school work and Ivann is borrowing my gaming PC. Plus, I missed many crucial details in the draft of that post.
For example, in my draft, the number of Midori clones was finite and directly proportional to the number of players, but I forgot that YandereDev mentioned in "The Origin of Midori Gurin" that Midori has infinite clones.
Man, sometimes staying true to the personality and lore of an existing character (or real person) is tough.

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