Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. I don't fully understand the Data Privacy Act. I don't know if this qualifies as "journalistic, artistic, literary, or research"--this is a personal rant.
WARNING: Contains sexual content.
The first time I got a like back after doing this, I roasted a girl who wrote in its (not her) profile in misspelled Filipino, "I'll mess up your life." (I won't give the original Filipino due to the sensitive nature of this conversation.) I find derogatory flirting confusing--after all, I read Mark Manson's "The Dismal State of Flirting in English-Speaking Cultures".
Unlike other people with Asperger's syndrome, however, I can understand a lot of idioms, sarcasm, and other non-literal speech. This one, however, lacks any obvious sign of joking (not even a "charot"), so I attacked the profile in two ways: literal and non-literal. "If you're joking, then it's not funny. If you're not joking, then fight me. Why did you say this?"
I put emphasis on "why" for this post because, honestly, I know very little about today's Filipino teenage culture. I have many bad impressions about it, including but not limited to hedonistic, lazy, self-entitled, and stupid. I would greatly appreciate being proven wrong.
Anyway, this was what I got as a reply (grammar mistakes removed): "The one who's not funny here is you, bruh. May I ask if you have a sense of humor? Because, obviously, you don't. Obviously, that's a joke, but you treated it like it's the truth. Dumbass. Sigh. Anyways, bye."
Notice the emphasis I put on the question. Not gonna lie, I was willing to answer this question--after all, I fight like Beidou IRL. I watch Genshin Impact meme videos every day.
But then, it (not she) blocked me immediately afterward. The little booger didn't even give me a chance to answer its question. Hmph. Such closed-mindedness. It didn't even realize I was attacking in "multiple directions".
But that's not gonna stop me. The fire within me is still fueled.
I admit that I expect potential romantic interests to be responsible for themselves. That includes their own bodies; for this one, I attacked a fat girl who simply stated that it wants a responsible man. I said (and I kinda regret it) that "[Your boyfriend] can't do all the dirty work for you and he's not mandated to."
I was countered by my own counter-strategy: "Why not?" Okay, this wrecked my brain for a while, so I spent a morning playing Mr. Tactician. I decided to counter in three ways: a Biblical argument, a legal argument, and a psychological argument. In my head, I prepared for these counter-arguments respectively: "Human law and perception are flawed. God is perfect." "God isn't real. Science can be disproven. The law demands obedience." "God's laws don't apply to the modern world. Politicians don't always take science into account. Science is reliable." As such, I cited the fall of Egypt due to the Hebrews being abused, the lack of law about boyfriends and girlfriends in the Philippines, and the fact that balancing life is important, as well as the desire of boys to sometimes be themselves rather than a "slave" to a love interest.
I was asked to translate to Filipino because of the "depth" of my arguments, so, with some difficulty, I did it with as little English as possible...and, honestly, some textbook/newspaper words.
I simply got in reply, "OK, so what?" Is there a trope about defeating a smart person with stupidity? Perhaps this is an example of "not giving a fuck".
I absent-mindedly replied, "...What can you give your potential boyfriend?"
"My love and loyalty."
"And how can you give 'love and loyalty'?"
(Very rough translation) "Depends on what the person feels."
With intentional bad grammar, I wrote, "okay i give up you win" I wasn't sure how to counter this argument considering the flexible nature of this deceptively simple answer. But, looking back now, do you think I can counter with something outrageous like "What if your boyfriend is extremely passionate about (something girls likely aren't interested in like gaming)?"
Yeah, this is why I don't like debates: I struggle to answer when I'm counter-attacked.
Then why are you starting debates?
Aside from Blood Knight urges, I still have a bully mentality; I like to pick on people who I think are intellectually weaker than me. (Does not apply in physical combat; I attack my stronger brothers when I'm angry at them.)
Okay, next story: (Some grammar mistakes and text lingo were intentionally left.)
Most people hate perverts. No surprise there. There are lots of profiles that explicitly say they say pass to perverts if they don't outright bombard them with swear words. I, in particular, am very aggressive towards people who I think are perverts...even though I have never been the target of a pervert. As such, I attacked a transgender (likely a biological male) who described itself as having a "nice rear" and being a "good su....r" ("sucker", as in a "dick sucker"? I'm not sure). "Simp. Fight me," I said.
I let it attack first. Simping needs no introduction, I think.
The little booger "countered" by asking, "Where you from?"
I countered with a partially sarcastic insult using upper-class words: "Nice question. How utterly impolite."
It just made the question seem more "polite": "Oh I'm sorry. Where you from? Though :)" (exact writing) Why'd he add "though", though? It's barely any different from his previous statement. Perhaps it's 外国人の日本語 (gaikokujin no Nihongo; foreigners' Japanese) translated into English; けど (kedo) means "though" and is often put at the end of a sentence to soften it. In Filipino, when showing contrast, I start sentences with "Kaya lang..." which I translate into English as "The problem is..." (example: "Kaya lang, hindi ako magaling mag-Filipino." "The problem is I'm not good at speaking Filipino.")
Language stuff aside, the booger most likely didn't get the point, so I countered, "You do NOT ask someone where they're from as a first question. You ask that later in a relationship. Starting like this is creepy." But in retrospect, I look foreign and I speak near-perfect English--heck, I intentionally didn't add Filipino to the list of languages I speak to hopefully get matches who are more skilled and confident in English and won't put me on a pedestal because of my "foreign-ness" and English skill alone. Besides, most Filipinos, from my experience, can communicate well in English with actual foreigners in competitive multiplayer games.
"Well, I like your humor", it said. Son of a Bisharp. I think these fools are used to derogatory flirting to the point it thinks I'm being flirty.
I absent-mindedly replied with intentional bad grammar, "ok"
"Hahaha you're so cool by the way." Yeah, whatever.
"Ok lets be friend but please talk to me in filipino wahahaa" ...I reluctantly did. All dialogue after this is in Filipino translated to English.
"Why should we be friends?"
"Because you're intelligent--I won't run out of topics when we meet."
"And what can you offer me?"
"I don't know, haha. Virginity kk."
"Eh, then, good luck if you ever get a love interest." "What kind of relationship do you have when your love interest can provide but you can't? Love isn't just about chatting and kissing."
"I can provide--it depends on the arrangement."
"Do you have a job?"
"Yes, of course."
"...And what's your job?"
(Job censored for privacy purposes; it's a legit job)
"...Okay then, you DO have something to offer, assuming you're telling the truth, of course." "However, don't say you have a 'nice rear'. It looks perverted."
"But seriously, my rear is nice." (emphasis added; there's no text formatting in Dating)
"Serious or not, it still makes you look like a pervert."
"Alright! Noted po." ("Po" is a polite expression in Filipino.)
This booger claims to be 27 years old, but oh well, even little kids pretend to be adults on Facebook by setting their birth year so that they're 18 or older. It looks believably like a teen or young adult, though. I'm clearly a young adult based on the pictures I used, and so is it. Has Filipino politeness changed? I know most people my age, as well as teens, wouldn't talk to each other in a casual situation politely. Is the concept of senpai-kouhai now a thing in Filipino culture? (Note that I'm a senpai in terms of intelligence.)
Okay, one more story before the Genshin Impact one (though this was the last chronologically):
I enjoy learning about things that are strange to me. So when I saw a girl who says "yes to chubby [people]", I asked, "Why are you looking for a chubby person? Are you on copium or are you gay? Just curious. No malice intended--I just like researching." (I used "gay" because almost none of these Dating fools say the word "lesbian"--I prioritized clarity.)
"I like chubby ehehe yes im gay"
"...That doesn't answer my question. I mean, what's so good about chubby people? Unless I don't know enough about LGBT people, I don't see why they would like chubby people." I didn't get a reply after that.
That answer...quite frankly blows my mind. Even my 6-year-old niece can describe herself as "cute and funny." It's like asking "LT, why is Sucrose your waifu?" and me replying "Because I like Sucrose." It doesn't explain things like her hair, her brain, or her DPS. The little booger didn't even ask for at least one of us to speak Filipino. (To be fair, my niece is very confident in many social situations. Most young people today are scared to death of most interactions with strangers. Perhaps, for them, it's better not to talk much and reveal little than reveal something significant and regret it later on.)
Anyway, I'm not entirely sure why some girls dislike handsome boys (this specific one says pass to muscles), but I think it's because they think Evil Is Sexy. (Not the Tartaglia kind of sexy--girls in real life love him.)
Genshin Impact
Alright, here we are. Not many people in Facebook Dating explicitly look for Genshin Impact teammates; it has no competition aside from content creation (art, cosplay, etc.) and Windtrace (a limited-time hide-and-seek event). Most people of both genders ask for teammates for popular competitive games like Call of Duty Mobile, Mobile Legends, and slightly less frequently, VALORANT. VALORANT is friendly towards low-end PCs; Genshin Impact is not.
Anyway, this time, I roasted a male who described himself with these three words: "Friendly, honest, bastos (vulgar)". Either it's a daredevil or it has no idea that girls in Dating freak out over cheaters and those with rapist-like attitudes. There's also no context behind the "bastos" part--is it actually very foul-mouthed or perverted, or does it simply enjoy the occasional dark humor? (Note that I'm not sure about the gender identity of this person--it's not explicitly stated. I set my gender preference to strictly women, but of course, there are boys who register themselves as girls, either accidentally or intentionally. There are those who look almost unmistakably like Girly Girls but claim to be "gay" or "transgender". As far as I know, boys are far more concerned about ghosting than sexual harassment.)
I remembered this time to ask, "Bruh, why did you match back?" I expect most "matches" to either ignore my "like" entirely (which IS the most common outcome) or start a flame war with me. This one didn't counter with a flame war, hence my question.
"no reason" "i didn't expect that someone will message me here" In retrospect, boys getting matches is probably so rare that my rude attitude was neutralized by his feeling similar to, say, encountering a full-odds Shiny Pokémon (1/4096 chance with no modifiers in Pokémon X and Y onwards). I'm not just speaking for myself; most boys seem to show no signs of reacting to being matched while girls do, considering how they react to being asked questions.
"uhhh...ok", I replied unenthusiastically with intentional bad grammar. I could've raged at it back with "Do you often do things for no reason?"
"how about you? why do you like me first?"
"You seriously didn't pay attention to my earlier message?" I copy-pasted my roast.
"lets fight?" "friendly fight" I missed these messages since I was drunk-driving cycling. But I talk in an actually friendly way if I want to challenge someone to a friendly fight, moron.
But I deliberately ignored that message because, again, I didn't know how to respond. (Wait, is this why, when I make two requests, I often get responses to only one?)
Instead, I replied to its next message: "so you main childe? i main zhongli and noelle" I'll give it to it: it actually read the parts of my profile that aren't immediately visible. I stated that Xingqiu is my personal hero because of his personality, but I figured some might interpret that as my Xingqiu being well-built, which is incorrect--I'm focusing on preparing for Ganyu and Hu Tao, which is why I stated I main Tartaglia. Kaeya is a husbando and Kamisato Ayaka is a Yamato Nadeshiko, so I think they're popular among girls; I just need someone to help them permafreeze and make their playthroughs easier, hence my choice to put Tartaglia. But I DO have other main DPSs:
"Yes, plus Ayaka and Yoimiya," I replied.
"ow same" "do you have kokomi?" This question was...strange to me. Most Genshin Impact meta players think Sangonomiya Kokomi is a very weak character; she can't get critical hits without massive investment and she relies heavily on her expensive Elemental Burst to do some DMG. TKizaru has shown that, with similar builds and Talent levels, Barbara is superior to Kokomi in terms of both DPS and healing despite Barbara being a free 4-star character.
"Why do you ask? I don't have Kokomi."
"cause i dont have kokomi haha" Again with doing things on a whim with no plan. If I were to ask this question, my purpose would be to satisfy my curiosity. Did the player pull Kokomi because of the meta? Because she's a waifu? Because the player wanted to complete the "Pokédex"? (I attempted to pull for the former two reasons--I wanted to prepare for a potential meta that strictly favors Kokomi and not other healers like Barbara and Bennett. Kokomi-chan is also a tactician.)
"Uhhh...OK. I thought you needed a healer in Co-Op. Barbara and Bennett heal very well for me [and] I got 10k DMG with Dodoco Tales Barbara."
"wanna play?"
I took the opportunity to study the little booger, so I instantly gave my UID and name.
I waited for it in-game but forgot I put my phone on silent--I didn't want to disturb my younger brother with the sounds of notification storms while he was asleep. As such, it took me about 10 minutes to see its message that it couldn't find me even though I gave my UID correctly. It gave its UID instead, so I added it. It took about 5 minutes for him to respond. Slow little booger. I guess I shouldn't rely too heavily on others being seemingly enthusiastic. But oh well. This is a good self-reminder for me to be always 30 minutes early but ready just in case someone will be 1 hour late--some people have canceled plans with me after I was 10 minutes late.
Game On! Andrius and Artifact Farming
Anyway, we immediately jumped into fighting Andrius. It ran Yoimiya and Zhongli; I ran Yoimiya and Xingqiu as those were my best single-target DMG dealers. I probably should've paid attention to its team, but I guess it was okay--we beat the boss. I was out of Original Resin at the time, so I didn't get any loot.
Later, we farmed the Crimson Witch of Flames and Viridescent Venerer artifact sets.
In the Crimson Witch Domain, I used Tartaglia and Diona--Tartaglia for Vaporize and Diona for healing/shielding. It used Kamisato Ayaka and...I guess Zhongli? Fine team choices, I suppose. At this point, I was asked if I can speak Filipino. I reluctantly said yes--after all, this is a video game and I wanted to act like a Jerk with a Heart of Gold (spoiler: I'm a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk), so I felt communicating in a language we both understand well was important for teamwork.
The Viridescent Venerer farming was less...favorable. At first, it ran Eula and Jean--these are fine choices since the Domain heavily favors Physical DMG and all the enemies can be sucked up by Jean then thrown into the air to inflict fall DMG. Muscle memory got the better of me, so I picked Venti and Kujou Sara because I wanted to give Superconduct support and deal huge Swirl DMG...while forgetting that Eula and Jean are melee characters. I switched to Sucrose and Fischl for more consistent elemental application while still Superconducting, but then...it ran Tartaglia and, if I remember correctly, Jean. You do realize that there's a Fatui Electro Cicin Mage in this Domain and she resists Electro DMG (from Electro-Charged), right? I played around with your choice of Eula!
Tsurumi Island, Foggy Memories, and Story Reminiscence?
We later explored Tsurumi Island...for no clear reason. At least the fog was gone for this player. The island for him was mostly unexplored, though, save for the chests. I'm not sure why he still relied on his Electro Treasure Compass to find the chests--I only use it when I've gotten the vast majority of the obvious chests already. Other than that, we beat up monsters along the way...but I forgot our teams. I think I used Kamisato Ayaka?
While climbing a hill near the Moshiri Ceremonial Site, I found out some interesting stuff. First, I can't remember why, but I remember saying, "Y'all (referring to modern-day Filipino teens in general, including this booger) seriously need to improve your English skills."
"What's wrong with the people on Facebook Dating?", it said. This is my rough paraphrase because I can't remember what it said, hence my use of correct grammar. If only I could recover chat logs from my previous Co-Op sessions.
"There's no sane boy or girl in Dating." I generalized for the sake of speed.
"You're right--only boys give likes." Yeah--no kidding. Boys are naturally inclined to "attack", both in actual combat and in romance. While it's not explicitly stated and I didn't want to pry to avoid interrupting the exploration, I have a feeling that this guy has been liked by gay guys before.
It noticed that I fought with surprising agility. It then asked, "What platform do you play on?"
"PC," I said lazily.
"So that's why." I didn't ask directly, but it's probably a mobile player. Otherwise, it would have said, "Yeah, I play on PC too."
Major spoilers for the Tsurumi Island story below.
Some people who have taken the writer Sumida's commission of exploring Tsurumi Island before have reported that their memories were wiped after leaving the island and that the island's local "musical instrument" (actually a signaling device), the Maushiro, disappeared from their belongings. While the memories didn't get wiped from "the illustrious" Paimon (happy now, you arrogant piece of food?) and the Traveler, the Maushiro disappeared from them as well.
Spoilers end here.
Good thing I remember some details from that...frankly nerve-wracking series of quests full of infodumps and puzzles. What I don't remember well is what that booger and I said to each other while exploring Tsurumi Island. Weird effect, I know, considering I remember the Andrius fight and artifact farming more clearly.
Shortly later, however, it had to leave for no clear reason. We played for, I think, 45 minutes. I was actually glad it was over--while I was doing Co-Op, I was talking with someone else on Discord who sent me a meme and I had to politely say that I was...well, in Co-Op.
Q&A in My Head Because I Like Midori Gurin
Why did you keep communication at a minimum?
I respect my teammate's consistent initiative, especially with that "How about you?" question before playing Genshin Impact. Not a lot of guys these days have that--outside of sexual favors, they're just as passive as girls. I wanted it to stay focused on whatever it wanted to do while I played along. It was also a good opportunity for me to see what kind of person it was when given freedom rather than told what to do.
My conclusions? Although it's mostly aimless in social situations, at least, to a small extent, it knows what it's doing in-game. This reminds me of my dad--he's very passionate about work and hanging out with friends but is reluctant to do household chores. I think this guy can do well in an actual job, but I sincerely hope that its potential romantic partner can cover up its weaknesses.
It has not invited me to another game yet and I doubt it will ever happen soon, but if it does, I'll use my tactician persona--I'll be the commander. We're both Adventure Rank 57, so I'll do it in my world so I can choose to start a Domain farm.
This would also be a good opportunity to ask one of my favorite questions for Genshin Impact players: "Waifu or meta?"
If it doesn't happen, I'll extend the offer within 1 week after publishing this.
Actually, screw it, change of plans: I'll like anyone who mentions Genshin Impact even just a little bit in their Facebook Dating profile. Because, y'know, "Another test subject!"
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