"LOUD Engines and Deafening Brakes" Reaction

Original post by Ivann Baloran: http://ivannbaloran.blogspot.com/2018/05/loud-engines-and-deafening-brakes.html

This post is in need of cleanup.

In case you don't know, I am obsessed with watching MandJTV and his other channels, Michael Groth and MandJTV Classic. (Sorry, JubileeBlais, but I'm too lazy to watch Shiny Hunts. Your Top 10s are great though, especially the one on PokéGirls) I constantly watch his My Opinion on Every Pokémon, Raccoon Man series, and, most relevant to this blog post, his rant called The WORST Drivers EVER! I freaking love his voice and his rants--I mimic him almost every day (especially Raccoon Man).
Groth (2017, I think) mentioned in that rant that he hates when people are "driving cars with stupidly loud engines".
And it just so happens that my brother Ivann recently posted a rant of his own that specifically focused on those "stupidly loud engines". He even made the "loud" word all caps, which suggested a strong emotion that made me want to read it more.

I'm gonna react paragraph-by-paragraph in chronological order, but I'll minimize direct quotes to avoid plagiarism and spoilers.

Paragraph 1

To be honest, if you're not a professional (not street) racer, there's no advantage to having a luxury car other than "looking cool".

Sure, they're faster than the average city car, but thanks to road laws, like speed limits, it's difficult to take advantage of a luxury car's full potential. Also, when making a turn, especially on busy roads, other cars can appear out of nowhere and intersect the driver's path, causing an unexpected crash.

Plus, to me, luxury cars give the impression of excessive greed, parasitism, and corruption.

And, Ivann, good to know that you prefer walking and cycling. Cars are overrated and harmful to both travel time and the respiratory and circulatory systems.

Paragraph 2

First of all, how in the muffins is it possible to get a car...without getting a job and a house first? No, inheriting money and a car from family and friends doesn't count--not everyone can, let alone will, do that. Regardless of your counter-arguments, why did you laugh at my brother?

Then again, I suppose, to them, it is a norm to get a car before getting a house and a job. Or maybe they laughed because Ivann didn't mention any kind of car.

(If you ask me, though, I'd get a simple sedan. It's not like I need anything "specialized", anyway--I just need something basic. I'd rarely use it though because I'm obsessed with cycling.)

By the way, Ivann, I disagree with your guess as to why your classmates laughed. If your reason was true, I think they would have been TRIGGERED instead.

No particular paragraph because I'm lazy, but this is about "stupidly loud engines"

I'm pretty sure there's an ordinance on our barangay (village) that says loud engines are not allowed at night.

But, I'm wild-guessing that there's a 5% chance per night that a motorbike passes our street at high-speed, shocking me, especially when I'm asleep, playing video games, or working in the store.

There's a freaking speed limit of 20 km/h on our street, noobs. I went exactly 20 km/h here while having driving lessons, and my engine was not disturbing any neighbor at all.

But what do you expect from a barangay whose tanods (guards) sit comfortably on their plastic chairs as they smoke, talk smack, and stare almost lazily at the road? I rarely see any patrol vehicles on our street.

Here's another experience of a "stupidly loud engine" that is at the opposite of high speed. An old-looking, lime-green car parked in front of our store, and it spent about 3 minutes messing with the engine in such a way that it could split my ears in halves. When it actually moved, it moved VERY slowly, but just as noisily.

Right now, I want to beat up the owner of that potentially lethal-sounding car. Like, how do you even survive the harsh noise of your car? What's stopping you from buying a new car or having your old one fixed? Besides, new cars are faster, have more durable engines, are more eco-friendly, and cost just as much as a super-old car.
Thank goodness that's the last I've seen of that car.

Deafening brakes

Other than video games and Ivann's bike, I rarely hear screeching brakes, to be honest.

I could imagine it though :p

I got super lazy, so I'll end with:

"You could say that it's a bumpy ride... *budum-ching*" TRIGGERED

And it's "ba-dum tsss", not "budum-ching".

Edit: i admit that this is one of my lazier/cringier blog posts (intentional bad grammar)