This is based on a variety of sources,
including my real-life self, my Hytale team roles, and my fictional alter ego.
Contains mild swearing mainly from trope
names.
This is being cleaned up due to some inappropriate or private content that I added while I was angry. I apologize.
I'm also planning to split this further into Author Avatar tropes and real-life tropes.
Individual Tropes
Accent Slip-Up
Happens frequently when I attempt to speak English
or Filipino in a Filipino accent to lower the chance of the other person
suspecting I’m not Filipino. My natural accent for speaking Filipino sounds
more Spanish, which suggests I’m aristocratic, and for many average Filipinos, aristocratic
often (but not always) means foreign. ("Aristocratic but not foreign" typically applies to native Filipino businessmen and celebrities.)
However, even if I completely avoid this
trope, my bishōnen appearance still arouses suspicion.
Also happens sometimes when I speak long Japanese sentences. I still consider myself a beginner, so I sometimes sound American or Filipino when I pronounce f, r, and u.
Accents Aren't Hereditary
Our entire family was born and raised in the Philippines, with my mom being half-Chinese. Most of us have a trace of Filipino accent when speaking English...except mine which is fully American.
Action Politician
I plan to lead other Hytale faction members like Kweebecs (good)/Outlanders (evil) and soon form a multiverse-wide empire.
I'm also arguably the most powerful unarmed martial artist and assassin in the empire.
Addiction-Powered
I’m an aquaholic—I’m addicted to water. I
can drink 1 liter of water in one sitting (though it’s actually hard for me to
do and turns me into a Mighty Glacier for several minutes), but usually, I
become more powerful after just 500 ml.
I imagine water is an alcoholic drink
because real alcohol is addictive, then I imagine myself as a Drunken Master
who gets stronger when he’s drunk. Interestingly, I don’t just get stronger in
combat; I get better at driving and doing school work.
A Degree in Useless
Note that I don't actually have a college degree right now, though I will most likely get it this year.
On the surface, "Multimedia Studies" isn't useless. I actually had animation, audio, graphics, programming, text, video, and Web design courses, of which programming was my favorite because it's the first thing I think of when it comes to video game development and it was the most practical of the bunch rather than theoretical.
However, speaking of theoretical, the vast majority of my studies were about theories, mainly about multimedia in culture and how multimedia is useful in education and assisting developing countries. In other words, it felt like a sociology degree--we even had "Gender in Multimedia" which...I honestly give no firetrucks about. Sexism is not a big deal here in the very gender-equal Philippines.
Many of the other practical courses felt to me like straight-out submitting lots of assignments after reading some bare-bones content.
As such, the graphic ads I make for my mother are still plain and the only thing I know in Audacity that I can brag about is using noise cancellation.
To be fair, multimedia is a relatively new field of study, so most multimedia professors are actually specialists in other fields, including but not limited to education, forestry, social studies, and theater. A few actually work with many forms of multimedia regularly.
I prefer to learn multimedia in more specialized ways, mainly for making YouTube videos. For example, for graphics, I want to learn how to draw YouTube video thumbnails and cartoon characters.
Affectionate Nickname
I put "the" before my niece's name (as in "The Vaike") because I imagine her to be a Super-Strong Child and I find it cute. She can out-wrestle me, yank away my tablet, and pull my fingers.
Although, as a family of Chinese descent, we traditionally call the first older brother "Aya", I affectionately call him "Big Brother" because...he's a giant version of his daughter.
All Love Is Unrequited
My mom once told me that other girls were looking at me as if they had a crush on me, but it's hard for me to believe since, as a second-year high-schooler back then, I lacked the tactical insight ability I have now. If I did, I would approach the most appealing or virtuous-looking girl and engage in small talk with her.
I can't remember clearly, but I think, in my third year of high school, I shrugged off a female classmate who might have verbally implied romantic feelings to me--I lied, "I have a girlfriend." This is when I had the illusion that my friendly relationship with my crush at the time (who I recently nicknamed "Mareeta") would develop into a serious romantic relationship.
Amazon Chaser
A fairly recent trope that's mainly born out of me trying to be Crazy-Prepared. While I expect myself to do at least 95% of the physical work in a romantic relationship, I never know when my hypothetical romantic partner will run into a situation that I can easily handle but I'm not around to do it or at least assist. Women brave the streets alone about as much as men do, so I want someone who can defend herself from both muggers and scammers, especially given that, because I want to be a gaming YouTuber, I will stay home a lot more than a typical employee (assuming no lockdown/quarantine of any sort).
While basic self-defense is fine, a martial arts nerd is even better because she would allow me to take full advantage of my combined Sucrose and Tartaglia personalities (i.e. Badass Bookworm + Blood Knight).
Not gonna lie, I was surprised when "Mareeta" was able to punch faster than I can react despite me teaching her basic punches for only a few seconds. I guess, when you're a UN diplomat who builds robots and plays tennis regularly, you can grasp fighting concepts very quickly.
Anti-Armor
Applies to the heavy attacks of my unarmed fighting style. In boxing sparring, I use hooks to break defenses without hurting my opponent too much. In self-defense, I use my hammerfists.
Additionally, I can punch vehicles and smooth walls without hurting my fists.
Anti-Hero
I don't consider myself a "true" hero
considering that I do good things mainly for personal gain rather than
selflessness or because it's an "end in itself".
Apologizes a Lot
For mistakes that I sincerely did not intend.
Sometimes, I may even apologize for a mistake that I already apologized for a day, week, or even months ago.
For mistakes that I intended to commit, I am instead The Unapologetic.
Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy
I brag too much about my real-life fighting
skill and physical feats. Seriously, though, I have KO'd YoSquid and almost
knocked down Coach G-Force.
Ax-Crazy
Applies only to me playing video games in real life. After all, video games often reward the player for killing, usually by dropping money.
This can also be triggered if I'm angry. This shows when I mash buttons more rapidly than usual and hunt enemies even if I don't need to do so.
The battle music in Dragonspine, the snowy mountain in Genshin Impact, triggers my Ax-Craziness very easily. The heavy violins and the drums blend extremely well with sound effects like the "sword hit" sound effect (especially with Razor's and Tartaglia's fast attacks) and Klee's bomb sounds. I sometimes deliberately pause my quests and KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! just to keep this track playing.
Neither I nor my Author Avatar is Ax-Crazy, however. I'm actually terrified of killing in real life. My Author Avatar regularly hunts monsters for fun but also feels uncomfortable killing innocent people...most of the time.
Back Stab
One of my main fighting styles as a rogue.
I regularly sneak up behind the Gold's Gym trainers and "stab" them with an imaginary dagger. They're chill with it and sometimes they "stab" back.
In Minecraft, I love killing players who have their backs turned to a wall while mining by peppering them with spammed critical hits.
Badass Bookworm, Lightning Bruiser
I don't consider myself a bookworm since I
mainly read social media posts rather than “educational" content. I also
prefer animation, movies, and video games over books when it comes to
storytelling.
However, when I need cold, hard evidence on
something, I occasionally search for academic papers.
I have read some novels, including most of
the Harry Potter series (but I got lazy and stopped at the end of the book
equivalent of Deathly Hallows Part 1).
Appearance-wise, I don't look physically
strong to the average Joe (unless I'm shirtless lol). I have noodle arms and a
thin body (I'm 174 cm and 57 kg). My face doesn't look like that of any popular
strongman like The Rock; I look more like a bishōnen.
But I actually have six-pack abs (and
they’re still visible even after I've eaten beyond my limit in a buffet).
I regularly carry heavy things like boxes
of newly-purchased products, full pails of water, my 1 kg (gross weight) sling
bag, and the occasional rice sack (where someone else helps me, though I often
lift the sack slightly higher). Our family car is kinda hard to steer, but I
can steer it the fastest (and pull the handbrake the hardest). Also see
Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy.
I’ve taken hard hits that would otherwise
moderately injure or stun a normal person, like bumping my head, being bumped
by a bicycle, being punched at full force (even without blocking or parrying),
being repeatedly whipped by a belt as a kid, and being back-stabbed by a pen.
Heck, I’ve even shrugged off Coach G-Force’s punches on my abs…while I was sick.
Befitting my Fragile Speedster-like
appearance, I’m also the fastest in the family, being capable of dodging
incoming vehicles, parrying two fists with one arm, diverolling, cartwheeling,
and running while carrying heavy loads. At medium range, I am difficult to hit
in dodgeball (though sometimes I lazily block the dodgeballs with my fists).
See One-Man Army (to be added in a later part).
Badass Teacher
This trope typically applies to official school teachers and people who teach traditional school subjects (who are not necessarily school teachers).
My first experience with the latter is when I was in 9th grade. At the time, my high school crush, "Mareeta", asked me to tutor her in math. (She was in 8th grade.)
In my 2nd year of college, for my volunteerism course, I taught boxing to some 5th graders. That made me feel like a true school teacher for 2 days because I taught in actual classrooms.
Bare-Fisted Monk, Boxing Battler, Heroes Fight Barehanded
As I've explained before in one of my
oldest posts “Fighting Addiction", the first fighting style I learned is
boxing. I regularly use fists because I have a fear of seeing blood in real
life and I’m not allowed to bring real weapons.
I also think beating stronger or armed
enemies (especially gunmen and mages) with fists looks flashy and intimidating. Also, unlike weapons, fists cannot be "disarmed" or used against you (except, of course, through mutilation).
If I had to choose between being a
Bare-Fisted Monk and using a Blade on a Stick, I'd choose to be a Bare-Fisted
Monk. Because I don't need to carry anything to fistfight, I can strike
extremely quickly, whether it's a Back Stab or Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs. Plus, I
have two free hands to disarm Jerkasses with.
Batter Up!
My dad owns a 25-inch aluminum baseball bat
which he bought for self-defense. I use it for weapon training and
role-playing.
Interestingly, I had trouble wielding the
bat one-handed as a younger teen, but now, as a young adult with a stronger
body and a small amount of fencing knowledge, I can do so comfortably and
quickly. I still mainly wield it two-handed so I can swing it harder.
Because it’s a blunt weapon with a heavy
front end, I imagine the baseball bat is effective for parrying light weapons
like knives, swords, and unarmed attacks and for dealing heavy damage to armor and
vehicles.
Besides the spear, according to Skallagrim,
the mace and shield combo require
the least amount of skill. A baseball bat seems the closest to a mace and
is the most effective bludgeoning street weapon.
Bear Hug
What I regularly do to my mom, brothers, and niece.
Big Eater
This is largely a hidden trait considering
I'm thin (though there are many examples of thin Big Eaters) and I eat less of
my favorite food so others can enjoy it.
Sometimes, though, I can't help myself.
I've stolen nachos and peanuts from the fridge before.
The gloves are off though in buffet
restaurants where I eat until my tummy fills up so much that it hurts, I can’t
walk properly, and I become a Mighty Glacier (or an Acrofatic if I become angry).
The Big Guy, Pint-Sized Powerhouse
The Big Guy is my typical role in brains-dominant
groups since I'm a Genius Bruiser. Most people I know are artists who aren’t
athletic, so they get surprised when I show off my physical strength or
athletic prowess. See Badass Bookworm, Bishōnen, and Genius Bruiser.
Pint-Sized Powerhouse is averted
height-wise since I’m 174 cm; taller than the
Filipino male average of 163.5 cm and the Chinese male’s 169.5 cm. Instead,
me being a Pint-Sized Powerhouse mainly comes from my lack of weight,
especially compared to all the male members of my family who are roughly the
same height as me.
Big Little Brother, Little Big Brother
The height differences between me and my
brothers are very small, though Big Brother is the shortest, while HeadsHoKer
is the tallest.
In terms of weight, I'm the only thin boy
in the family. My brothers (and dad) are FAT!
Bishōnen
Yes, I know, this is hard to believe. But
let me explain.
Being a person of partial Chinese descent,
I have some East Asian facial features, including big, round, distinctive eyes
and a smooth face. (I suck at describing faces with words. Just see my profile
picture on my “About Me".)
I've been frequently mistaken by customers
for a Chinese or, less frequently, a Korean, kahit na nagsasalita ako ng
diretsong Pilipino sa tamang tono (even if I speak straight Filipino in the
right tone).
When I was a kid, my mom sometimes said I
had anime hair, but that's it.
Putting the hair and face aside, I look
thin and have a seeming lack of muscle.
Blade on a Stick
The spear is my primary Weapon of Choice
aside from my fists.
I feel strangely comfortable with holding
long sticks like mops, either for cleaning or for pretending to wield a spear.
Billiard cues are comfortable too since they have a thin tip and a heavy
handle, kinda like the weight distribution of a sword.
Even with my height and long arms, I
sometimes have trouble reaching faraway objects. I sleep on the top layer of a
double-deck bed where the door is further than arm's length away, so every time
someone forgets to close it (or doesn't know how to because she's a crazy dog
who runs like a horse), I have to “wake up" and close the door with my leg,
if not get out of bed completely. A polearm would make that bore chore way
easier since there's a lot less body movement involved and I get to keep most
of my body laying on the bed.
Interestingly, I used to like swords
because Heroes Prefer Swords, but I lost interest in them after getting utterly
rekt by HeadsHoKer in swordfighting despite neither of us having any formal
training.
Originally, I picked spears because of
their utility and comfort, but I liked them a lot more thanks largely to Fire
Emblem. Ephraim, the lance-wielding lord in The Sacred Stones, is an
insanely brave prince who used his smarts to take over a heavily guarded fort
with just three men (plus himself). Also, lances have a weapon triangle
advantage over swords because the lance is longer than the sword.
They also beat pretty much anything that
isn't a ranged weapon or another polearm. Notable street examples are knives,
baseball bats, and broken bottles. Not so tough now, are ya? *poke*
Blood Knight
This is one of my key traits as a person with Asperger's syndrome who is addicted to violent video games. Fighting in games is thrilling, fighting in real life is even more so, and winning in real life is probably one of the best feelings I can have in a day.
Expect me to challenge friends and sometimes celebrities to friendly fights.
If someone insults the reader in a dating profile, I think to myself, "Fight me. Let's see how tough you really are." Fighters at my level are really rare nowadays from my experience--most people get intimidated by me bragging about my fighting skills.
It sucks that my boxing trainer had to move to Saudi Arabia to fulfill a 2-year contract, though. I wanted to beat him up some more 'cause he can actually take a punch, allowing me to push myself to my limits instead of toning myself down to avoid injuring friends.
Blunt "Yes"
What I do when I do something wrong, someone points it out, and I don't care that I was wrong.
Someone: Are you stupid?
Me: Yes, and I don't care.
Boisterous Bruiser
I say the most words and initiate conversations the most often in my Hytale team.
Brilliant, but Lazy
Downplayed. I can churn out a 10,000-word series of
blog posts about Hytale but I HATE school work of almost all kinds.
Except maybe what I'm experiencing in game dev class.
Broken Ace
This is kind of debatable since...well, I'm not a good judge of my own overall skill sometimes.
I consider myself smart, strong, and swift. I make it a habit to support as many of my statements with facts as possible, I assist my family in lifting heavy objects, and I'm the fastest-running and most agile member of my family. Not to mention, I'm the go-to guy for technical problems.
Perhaps much of the "broken" part comes from my sheer laziness. In short, I get angry when I get told to have more responsibilities and when I see others (including friends) do the same because it makes me feel useless and weak.
Child Prodigy
I was described as this by my pediatrician
because I knew how to read at 2 years old.
Close-Range Combatant
I specialize in spears and fists. No
surprise.
There's something cathartic about taking
out my emotions on someone I hate (like the Trorks) by hitting them up close
and personal. Plus, melee attacks look more action-packed than ranged attacks
(except magical ones).
In real life, except for guns, melee attacks typically have higher DPS than ranged attacks. Plus, it's easy to dodge thrown projectiles unless they have an explosive AoE.
See Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship
Academy.
Chaotic Neutral
See “My Real-Life Dungeons & Dragons
Alignment and How It Changes”. Note that sometimes, I can be neutral good,
chaotic good, neutral, neutral evil, or chaotic evil.
Also see Combat Pragmatist, Jerk Jock,
Manchild, and Sugar-and-Ice Personality.
Chronic Hero Syndrome, A Friend In Need
Probably a “sub-syndrome” of Asperger’s
syndrome. People with Asperger’s syndrome are often overwhelmingly loyal to
friends, so as soon as I see a notification from a friend asking for help, I sometimes put down the important stuff I’m doing like school work for about 5 minutes so
I can show my friends I care. (I’m so used to doing this that it doesn’t
sacrifice my school performance. Mwahahahaha! However, I can't do this during meetings and English tutoring.)
When I notice a ball going out-of-bounds in
a sports game and I can reach it faster than the strangers playing the sport, I
do so while running at my full Lightning Bruiser speed. Of course, they get
shocked that I give back the ball so quickly.
Chuunibyou
Oh boy. I was a huge chuunibyou since I was in at least 2nd grade. I often rolled on the school floor and attempted cartwheels (but couldn't even go upside-down). I also thought I had the ability to control water. I guess I just really liked the color blue.
I'm still a chuunibyou now. Mom vehemently disagrees that I'm a "ninja" because I'm not stealthy, but I still like to think I'm at least a thief, even though I don't do much real-life stealth nowadays.
In casual conversations, I often act like an anime character.
Crazy-Prepared, Utility Party Member
This is a manifestation of my ISTP personality. I nicknamed myself the “Walking
Toolbox” because I almost always have the right tool for the job stored in my
sling bag which I carry almost every day even on days where I never leave the
house. My most used items besides my gadgets include bandages, insect
repellent, and three pens which have saved my life and others' lives many times.
As for Hytale, I've written way
too many posts about the game describing how I'd prepare for it. In a team, I'd
probably be the most likely to pick locks in-game if lockpicking is a thing. My
storage rooms would most likely contain an overabundance of cheap tools, weapons,
and other survival essentials.
Critical Hit Class
Even when I was a little kid who knew no martial arts at all, my crits have always been horribly deadly--I was capable of incapacitating adults with my bare fists. It's likely because I talk less when I'm angry, so I unleash all my stored negative energy in a single attack or flurry of attacks. This is also why I'm much more durable when I'm angry--I don't flinch at attacks that would normally make me do so.
Now, I'm capable of landing strong critical hits in any mood thanks to my boxing training.
I usually achieve critical hits by using feints to open up weak points, but if I'm angry, I'm more likely to use brute force to shatter strong defenses first before dealing massive crit damage.
(I've never shot real people with my bow so I don't know how good my ranged crits are, but my effective range with my 21-lb draw weight bow is 21 feet.)
I'm probably the only Critical Hit Class trainee that Coach G-Force knows because even his best fighters can't properly hit him.
Cuteness Proximity
If I see my niece in person, I will more often than not chase after her then give her Bear Hugs and beg to play with her. Aaand...I don't pay attention to most other things.
Dark and Troubled Past
Too many events to count.
Let's see… I was a chaotic evil bully in
elementary and high school. I pushed my former crush's Berserk Buttons too many
times. I got robbed…twice.
In my fictional universe, when I was 13, I
escaped a communist state where the government controlled almost every aspect
of every citizen's life, from working to studying to sleeping to even talking.
I resented authority ever since and vowed to take revenge on the state for
ruining the fun I had during my early childhood years when the state was still
capitalist.
Dash Attack
This is one of my favorite attack types in both real life and video games. In both cases, I use the Dash Attack as part
of Hit-and-Run Tactics, though sometimes I use it to quickly get the first hit
in a fight where I don’t intend to hit-and-run.
In real life, similar to how the momentum
of a running long jump can reach longer distances than a standing jump, I use
the Dash Attack as a single powerful blow. Typically, I use the Superman Punch,
a shoulder tackle, a running jump kick, or a clothesline.
In video games, I use Dash Attacks to Draw
Aggro by hitting an enemy that’s about to hit an ally. This can potentially
stagger the enemy and interrupt its attack.
Sometimes, I use Dash Attacks instead of
dodging such as in Kirby games since, like dodging, Dash Attacks involve
a quick burst of movement, except they can also deal damage. If Hytale
does not have a dodge mechanic, I may use Dash Attacks the same way.
Dislikes the New Guy
The reason why I don't solicit recruits for my Hytale team from the general public.
1. I don't socially relate well with many typical competitive gamers. As someone with Asperger's syndrome and a strong interest in a few subjects, I have difficulty adapting to rapidly-changing trends in pop culture, and even if I did, I'd sound more like a professor (or, in Genshin Impact terms, Zhongli) than that random drunk guy at the bar (i.e. Venti).
2. I put a heavy emphasis on team-based strategy and etiquette, while I perceive typical competitive gamers as lazy and chaotic Blood Knight Munchkins who will risk their own and/or their team's safety just to pursue what they think is "victory" (which may or may not be the same as the rest of their team's).
3. While player skill is not a priority for me, I put a ton of emphasis on being good and virtuous (because there's such a thing as Evil Virtues).
4. Even if I get virtuous recruits, I'd still put them through Training From Hell...but not in the traditional sense of "NOW GIVE ME 1000 PUSH-UPS!" Instead, since I think the chance is high that they're already skilled solo fighters, I might overload their minds with tactical meeting after tactical meeting...
Though newly-recruited friends are technically new guys, I wouldn't consider them new guys since the chance is high that I know their personalities, strengths, and weaknesses very well thanks to casual conversations. Playing with friends allows me to more readily adapt to their traits.
Then again, I'd be flattered if you, the reader, can prove that you fit my standards. Even better if we can chat like chill bros.
Doesn’t Like Guns
I don’t remember accurately, but when I was
a little kid, I heard one of my uncles firing a pistol into the air while
standing in the middle of our home street. That was my first (and currently my only)
time ever seeing and hearing a real gun, and I didn’t even know of toy guns and
fictional guns. I was so terrified of the loud noise and the big speeding flare
that I temporarily got scared to see toy guns that looked real.
I played shooting games more often as I
grew older, though, which contributed to my reduced fear of guns…until, as an
older teen, I watched the National Geographic show Science of Stupid
where there were video clips of people either losing their grips or being
smacked by their guns because they didn’t hold their guns properly. Now, I’m
too scared to learn how to use a gun out of fear that I might also get
smacked…though I might have to learn it anyway in case of the apocalypse.
I have no problem with using harmless
gun-like equipment and toys like Nerf blasters, though.
In my fictional universe, this trope is
Double Subverted. I hate guns because the communist state I used to live in was
notorious for having its soldiers mooks shoot people for seemingly minor
“crimes” like criticizing the government. Also, I simply like fists and
medieval [fantasy] weapons better. However, I do hide a pistol in my
jacket which I only use as a last resort to kill some fool quickly since my
real-life fear of guns also applies. For ranged combat, I’d mainly throw rocks
or my spear or use a bow.
Does Not Like Spam
I hated eating eggs on their own since childhood. When I was 14, I had two punishments where I was forced to eat scrambled eggs for lunch. Don't worry, I ate 'em all.
Strangely, I only eat egg when it's part of pancakes or pudding.
Do Not Call Me "Paul"
Interestingly, my official first name is Paul Juliann.
Perhaps being called "Juliann" a lot by my parents since childhood has made me dislike being called "Paul" on its own. As such, when I introduce myself in casual non-gaming situations, I always refer to myself as "Juliann Baloran". I only use "Paul Juliann Baloran" in formal situations.
Actually, I dislike being called by my real name even in casual situations, instead preferring to be called by my gaming username, LunaticTactician.
To me, being referred to as "Baloran" associates me with my grandma and dad, both of which are narcissists with Hair-Trigger Tempers.
For "Paul" and "Juliann", they're a disgrace to my late grandfathers (Paul on the father side and Julian with a single N on the mother side) who raised my parents well, unlike me who was chaotic evil as a child.
"LunaticTactician" is a name that accurately reflects my personality and actions. While I put a lot of thought into many of the things I do (tactician), I'm edgy and sometimes willing to act crazy in front of others (lunatic).
Then again, some people, especially non-gamers, are uncomfortable calling me "LunaticTactician", so they refer to me as Juliann.
Drives Like Crazy
I…suck at driving. I struggle to climb
steep hills with a manual transmission and I don't always notice other drivers
coming from the side or behind. Sometimes, I unknowingly speed across potholes,
resulting in a big *CRASH!!!*
Sometimes, I drive at higher speeds than
what I'm used to so I can mentally prepare myself for when I actually gotta go
fast.
As for cycling, I can make sharp turns at
high speed.
Ear Worm
I often listen to the same songs repeatedly for weeks, so I often experience this.
Oddly, this can play happy or adventurous songs even while I'm experiencing strong negative emotions.
Eating Lunch Alone
Played straight throughout about 95% of my school life when studying outside of home.
As much as I wanted friends back then, I never took it seriously, so naturally, someone who looked at me for a few seconds likely noticed that I paid almost exclusive attention to my food even if I technically sat next to someone else.
Even now, I avoid sitting adjacent to others in cafeteria-like places unless they're friends. I don't dare accidentally take a close glance at strangers' potentially disgusting eating habits.
Enlightened Self-Interest
The primary driving force for many of my good deeds...and the reason why I'm chaotic neutral.
Unfortunately, according to Mark Manson's "The One Rule for Life" which talked about a statement by Immanuel Kant, this is...not ideal.
Extreme Omnivore
Type 1. I’ve eaten heavily spoiled food
before and I never got sick afterward…even though merely smelling it was
extremely unpleasant.
Don’t tell my mom and dad, but I eat food
off the floor. Don’t worry, though—as I said, I’m good at manual labor,
including cleaning.
Family Business
My mom owns a biscuit-selling business and a bakery franchise. I primarily do the biscuit selling, though every night when the bakery closes, I do the bakery's sales reports.
Friendless Background
I think I had no legitimate friend until I hit 8th grade.
In preschool and the 1st and 2nd grades of elementary school, I wanted friends like pretty much anyone, but either I was too shy or I was too lazy to learn how to do it--I think it was the latter.
In 3rd and 4th grades, I was a school bully. The people I considered "friends" at the time were mostly teachers (and only one who was a female classmate) who I shoved my childish insecurities into.
Friends Are Chosen, Family Aren't
Zig-zagged.
Mom is generally unbiased and rarely holds grudges against any family member (yes, including my paternal grandma). She regularly tries to maintain a good relationship with all family members...though we often think she's a Jerkass if she gets angry with us.
At best, though, I'd say I have a neutral relationship with my mom.
I have a generally bad relationship with the other three immediate family members. I can't stand Big Brother's lawful good alignment, Dad's Captain Obvious + Department of Redundancy Department Crazy-Preparedness (which is zig-zagged when it comes to his own belongings since he forgets them occasionally), and (I Can't Believe I'm Saying This) HeadsHoKer's Hair-Trigger Temper.
To be fair, though, as a kid, I had the exact opposite alignment (chaotic evil) as Big Brother, I often lost or forgot things, and I treated HeadsHoKer like I treat my niece today.
My niece loves me a megaton since I play with her more often than any other family member plays with her when we're visiting.
While I'm often reluctant to do work for the family, I am almost always ready and willing to help friends (assuming I'm awake): an act largely driven by Enlightened Self-Interest. Friends are not subject to the same rules as families, so we can be more flexible on how we treat each other.
Frontline General
I acknowledge the great importance of
generals and strategists in armies and why it’s logical that these people
should be protected and kept off the front lines…
…but if you’re talking about me, firetruck
all that garbage! As a Frontline General, I’m in charge of every single
strategy and can change tactics anytime without paying attention to anyone in
higher authority (since I am the highest authority), which is extra useful in
the heat of battle where quick reactions are important. Plus, I’m a Lightning Bruiser so I’m very, very difficult to overpower (unless the enemy uses
magic).
Additionally, most competitive gamers don't like to think much. My co-op style revolves around helping my team play to its strengths while I cover up its weaknesses--I enjoy doing that Boring but Practical stuff.
The Gadfly
I enjoy annoying people for various reasons.
As a rule, though, I play harmless pranks on family members and friends unless I'm really angry at them. I often pretend I didn't do them a small favor when I actually did. Once I know they've fallen for it, I reveal the truth and ask, "Did I troll you?" (Spoiler: 75% of the time, the answer is no.)
In competitive multiplayer games, I'm more sadistic and willing to use dirty (but still legal) tactics. I'm having fun stacking status conditions like confusion + sleep in Pokémon, so I plan to do the same thing on real players (but haven't succeeded). In first-person shooters and Minecraft, I would hunt down a single player to get them to rage at me.
With people I hate, I anger them without remorse or conscience. At best, I send them random memes. At worst, I physically attack them using Hit-and-Run Tactics.
Gender Flip
Yes, I have a work-in-progress female version of my Author Avatar.
Appearance-wise, she has straight, armpit-length green hair and large, gentle-looking eyes. She likes wearing elegant clothes, though her signature outfit is a mint green dress. (In an adventure, she may include a blue scarf to mimic my male Author Avatar's blue tie.)
As for her chest area...it's almost nonexistent. I feel like having an obvious chest would be distracting from my intentions for the character.
She'd probably wear a T-shirt and shorts in a pool or beach like I would in real life.
Personality-wise, she lacks my male Author Avatar's Ax-Craziness, Hair-Trigger Temper, and evil dragon blood. She regularly tries to act like a serious princess--in this alternate universe, instead of watching a TV show with a male master swordsman protagonist, she watched a TV show with who is basically the ideal princess.
If my male and female Author Avatar met, obviously, both would be utterly shocked. The male's edginess is a stark contrast from the female's elegance and vice versa.
Both would be disgusted by the idea of having a romantic relationship with each other, especially the male who is insecure about himself. The female would consider the male's personality "disgraceful." The male would consider the female "impossibly sophisticated."
Genius Bruiser
I'd consider my brawn to be more dominant
than my brains. I hate school work and I don't enjoy the “mature nerd” hobbies
like reading (novels, history, and academic papers), playing classical music
(but I actually like listening to it casually), and playing
chess (I’m WAY better at Fire Emblem).
Instead, when not playing video games or
digging through social media, I often go to the gym or beat up my punching bag.
If a person who's equally strong and smart
were to challenge me to my choice of brains or brawn, I'd choose brawn. I'm far
more confident about my physical abilities rather than my mental ones.
However, I do not look like a Genius
Bruiser largely because of my bishōnen appearance and my occasionally formal
speaking during casual conversations.
Gosh Dang It to Heck!
I regularly say "dang", "son of a Bisharp", and Smosh's own “firetruck" in public, even in
voice chat.
Interestingly, I regularly say actual uncensored swear words in private or with my family. I almost never say
them in conversations with others, especially friends and a love interest.
Usually, I say them in public when quoting others, such as the title of one of
Mark Manson's books, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
Edit, May 24, 2020: I'm promising myself to never use "cattle feces" ever again. Don't ask me why.
Edit, November 9, 2020: I've removed "cattle feces" from my system. Now, I usually say "Screw that!"
Gratuitous Japanese
I'm sorry. I can't help but flex the amount of Japanese I know now that I watch English-speaking Japanese YouTubers like Sora The Troll and take lessons from That Japanese Man Yuta. I respect them so much that I typically refer to them as Sora-san and Yuta-san, respectively.
Note that I rarely use this with non-Japanese strangers except in VRChat's Japan Shrine world which has weebs and actual Japanese people. I mainly use this with acquaintances and friends, especially those who also use Gratuitous Japanese.
With strangers, I often say 日本人じゃないです。 Nihonjin janai desu. I'm not a Japanese person. They say my Japanese is really good; after all, I have never heard a weeb/weeaboo say this. (Like, how are they not convinced by my American accent when speaking English!?)
I also use this with some of my loyal Japanese students occasionally. In terms of Sora The Troll's "5 Types of Japanese learners", I'm closest to the asking-questions-every-2-seconds man. I love how quick they are to correct me.
I use copious amounts of "ne" and "yo"; for example, 難しいですよね。 Muzukashii desu yo ne. It's really difficult, isn't it?
Hair-Trigger Temper
Not gonna lie, I get offended easily. I can't stand being negatively criticized (even if it's healthy), I rage at stupid actions that should have little effect on my everyday life like a poorly-written dating profile, and I hate being treated like a little kid with the intelligence of one.
Hates Being Touched
Downplayed. I generally dislike the friendlier forms of touch, including but not limited to the back pat and the hug. I feel that such forms of touch should be reserved for family members and boyfriends/girlfriends. However, I'm fine with, say, taps on the shoulder to get my attention.
I don't receive hugs from girls I have a crush on because I feel that I'm unworthy. Generally, I want to be the one to make the first move.
Heroic Neutral
What I am to my family members most of the time.
When it comes to gadgets, I’m The Smart Guy, so even if my family can solve their problem with a Google search or a similarly simple solution, I help anyway so my family can firetruck off. Sometimes, I willingly ask if there’s something to fix or clean so I won’t be told to do so later on.
Hot-Blooded
Let's see… I’m an Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy, I
have Ax-Crazy tendencies, I'm a Blood Knight,
I'm a Designated Point Man who Drives Like Crazy, and I tend to rush the front
lines as often as I sneak into enemy bases.
Hunter of Monsters
One of the primary reasons why I want to
conquer most of the Hytale universe: I want to purge it of all monsters
and other evil stuff.
I may even devote entire days doing almost
nothing except killing monsters when I’m feeling an extra urge to be an
Ax-Crazy Blood Knight or when monsters get so annoying to my tasks or friends
that I must go on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge.
Hypothetical Fight Debate
What I frequently pestered my former friends into doing: a fight with our fictional selves against each other or against Hytale mobs.
I'm arguably the weakest in the old team largely due to my weakness to magic and having graduated from the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.
Dodging is useless when BoltOLightnin and YoSquid can negate it with area-of-effect magic and Improbable Aiming Skills, respectively.
Even if I had a ranged weapon, my bad aim prevents me from exploiting BoltOLightnin and YoSquid's Achilles' Heel: their low Defense.
HeadsHoKer is a bit easier since he's melee-focused, but get hit once by a Divine Smite and it's all over--it breaks my physical defense with his Super Strength while exploiting my magic weakness.
I also self-debated who would win in a fight between fictional versions of me and my former crush. Though her short height and scrawny body mean she has low Defense (which may justify why she's afraid of me punching her in real life), she is extremely intelligent and charismatic, making her capable of leading an army with her looks, flowery words, and diplomatic knowledge, unlike me who's a self-proclaimed highly inexperienced and sometimes tyrannical leader. She's a...very charitable person, which, combined with her intelligence, makes her light magic deadlier than both BoltOLightnin's and HeadsHoKer's combined. She is extremely fast as well and can outspeed me in boxing and tennis. TL;DR: It's a Curb-Stomp Battle where she's the one curb-stomping me.
Side note: It's out of character for me to state my former crush's qualities, especially the physical ones, since I'm paranoid she will take those negatively. Too bad I have to do it to illustrate my point.
Ignore the Fanservice
I prefer women who dress modestly, thank you very much.
In fact, I dislike Lisa and Rosaria from Genshin Impact.
Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
I have bad aim with Nerf blasters and I
always lose in Nerf wars.
Downplayed with dodgeball. I hit Big
Brother and HeadsHoKer fairly easily (more so with Big Brother) at close to
medium range but can’t hit them at long range.
(My aim with melee attacks and in
first-person shooters is okay, though, except in Minecraft.)
Edit, November 9, 2020: Mom and Dad bought me an archery set in October and I got addicted to it. In late October, my aim was great, but now it sucks. Maybe my 2 arrows are worn out?
Edit, March 11, 2021: My aim is great again, even though my arrows are worn out and I don't shoot as often anymore due to being back to work.
Edit, August 26, 2021: Turns out my "bad aim" with Nerf blasters is because Elite Darts are just bad. AccuStrike Darts are much more accurate. I shoot better than HeadsHoKer now, even with the same blasters and darts.
Inept Mage
This is how I portray my Author Avatar to reflect my real-life laziness to study.
Though he, like many other young Craftsmanians, is fascinated by fictional magic, when he actually tried to use magic in the fantasy world, it blew up in his face more often than not. He knows only a few basic utility and combat spells (mostly dark magic due to his evil dragon blood) necessary for survival. As such, even after extensive magical study, he remains a predominantly physical fighter.
Averted with his Superpowered Evil Side. Though he has little control over whether or not he transforms into this, he is self-aware of his attacks; he can control who he targets and how hard he hits, although he gets mistaken for a mindless killer.
Insistent Terminology
I regularly use "Wuhan coronavirus" to intentionally annoy people who think calling it a "Chinese virus" is racist. It's not racist for me. Also, "Coronavirus Disease 2019" (COVID-19) is a lame name.
In the case of Genshin Impact, Elemental Skills and Elemental Bursts are often referred to as "E" and "Q" skills respectively (based on the default PC controls), but I continue to use the official terms in writing.
In spoken conversations, I use "E" and "Q" to keep the conversation speed going.
I only use "COVID-19" in professional situations like academic papers. Sorry, but I'm a chaotic neutral thief so I want that college degree.
"It" is Dehumanizing
This is why I use "it" to refer to criminals, fat girls, and my paternal grandma.
I have also used "it" to sometimes refer to humanoid enemies in video games such as the Fatui Cicin Mages in Genshin Impact until they were explicitly referred to using "her".
Yeah...I got it from Prototype. Though the protagonist Alex Mercer appears male, Gen. Randall insisted, "Mercer isn't a 'he'. It's an IT!"
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