November 12, 2020: Recovering from Ghosting-induced Rage

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

Hi there.

I'll get straight to the point 'cause I suck at introductions and I want to make this quick.

4 days before posting this, I've been ghosted again (by people I won't mention), and...frankly, the number of times it has happened within these ber months (September, October, November, and December) is getting on my nerves.

Please do not send hate comments about or guess the (user)names or identities of the people who ghosted me. (You won't be punished for doing so because you have free speech, but I'd still appreciate it if you don't.)

As I've explained in some previous blog posts, being ghosted is one of my Berserk Buttons. I can begrudgingly tolerate it up to twice because life likes to bite us in our butts when we least expect it, but as they say in baseball, three strikes and you're out.

I've blown up in anger towards said ghosters passive-aggressively where I gave them an unsolicited sermon like a father would to his child who screwed up.

Yet, as someone who hates being lectured by authority figures like my parents, I consider that very act of mine a form of disrespect and unprofessionalism of the highest order. Clearly, I lost Domics's game of "u mad, u lose".

I admit that I put a ridiculously high value on friendship mainly due to my Asperger's syndrome and yandere personality. I have sacrificed personal enjoyment and sometimes physical health to help people I like, not just because I wanted to gain their respect, but also because it was my subtle way of avenging the people worldwide who have also been abandoned for no good reason by people who they thought were friends. As a chaotic neutral person, I wanted to be defiant. Different. Distinguished. That's why even my Author Avatar is an edgelord.

Immediately, I have already failed Mark Manson's neediness checks and step 3 of "How to Overcome Loneliness".

I know no one owes me anything (at least outside of the legal realm) and I'm not supposed to give a firetruck, but my immature brain simply can't handle it.

So I take back what I said last Sunday. Part 2 of my opinion on Genshin Impact's playable characters will be delayed to November 22, 2020.

I need more time to emotionally recover so my brain cells can focus on this surprisingly large project of mine.

If I continue to write on that post now, strong negative emotions will affect what I write, potentially causing me to reveal sensitive private information about real people.