Rant/Analysis of Facebook Dating Profiles

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a relationship expert. I'm just a 21-year-old college student.

Originally, this was a personal essay for fun that was to be shared only with select friends of mine since, before writing this, I foresaw my opinions to be far too cringey and “Manchild-ish” to be of reasonable quality.

But I’m really thankful for my newly-made friend and UPOU classmate Alyanna (permission to use her real name obtained). She thinks this post might help readers get a good laugh and (I think) know how to improve themselves. Too bad she was so entertained by my draft that she found it…too short.

In my earlier teens, my only criteria were the vague “good looks and pleasing personality”. Heck, in childhood, I only looked for looks ‘cause I didn’t know how this relationship stuff works…and I ended up sending a cringey letter to a hot-looking stranger living in my old home village. I can’t remember how she reacted…if I even saw her react.

Ever since I watched videos from Paul Joseph Watson and read some of Mark Manson’s blog posts, I’ve set much higher standards for women I attempt to romance with. Because, as a tactician with Asperger’s syndrome and a little perfectionism, I strive for quality over quantity of friends, and because polyamory is disgusting, quality is everything (no, not magic—Brave Micaiah absolutely destroys Reinhardt in Fire Emblem Heroes) in a romantic relationship. What good is a romantic relationship if at least one of us is unhappy with it?

Now, normally, I would avoid online dating like the plague because of the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory (G.I.F.T), but due to the Wuhan coronavirus pandemic (fuck you, Chinese Communist Party, by the way) and the paranoia of world governments, face-to-face dating (along with physical D&D games) is pretty much a crime, probably as bad as jaywalking, if not murder. Sorry, I can’t help myself. I mean, surely there must be at least one good woman in online dating, right? I mean, I think I’m good, but probably not by the standards of Alyanna who’s a Go-Getter Girl like my former crush and a more serious Team Mom than me… Eh, screw it, I’m an Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy.

I'm not really sure whether I'm really "desperate" for a girlfriend, but I like to think I'm not. I just see it as an opportunity to have fun for myself and do a little more good things for others, but I'm perfectly fine with never being in a relationship—I'm holding up pretty well in my studies and friendly relationships anyway, I think.

I'd call myself "desperate" if I thought to myself that I can't live without a girlfriend and I'd settle for low quality standards, but those are probably taking desperation Up to Eleven.

Since I’m lazy to use other services and it works with my unlimited mobile data plan, I use Facebook Dating. As far as I know, it works similar to Tinder. You write a short description of yourself, you put in basic personal details, as well as how much you smoke or drink, if any… Eh, again, too lazy.

My Profile

Here’s what I put in my dating profile, along with my “sword-wielding edgelord” profile picture:

“Generally cool-headed gamer, tactician, and realist with a roguish side. Looking for an honest, kind, virtuous, and intelligent woman who takes responsibility for her own life and actions.

I dislike those who are careless with money or quickly get angry over small mishaps.

(Blog link)

Love language: Quality Time

(Insert some TV Tropes trope names here)”

I chose my “sword-wielding edgelord” picture because…it was the only good picture I had that properly exudes my personality. The dark background, my pose, and the sword symbolize authority and toughness, though I think they’re neutralized by my bishōnen appearance suggesting a gentler side. The blue background represents cool-headedness. To show that I mean Serious Business, I wore my green jacket ‘cause green is my favorite color and jackets are worn by butt-kicking characters. I even had a green undershirt. You could probably argue there wasn’t enough green.

My use of the rule of thirds isn’t just for eye candy—it also signifies intelligence. It helps me stand out from the noob-level vast majority of photos.

Because of my small experiences of overhearing girls’ conversations where they say they want intelligent guys, I maintained my semi-formal way of talking to give the impression of, well, intelligence. Hey, at least I’m honest and staying in-character!

Okay, fine, I’m not always cool-headed. I have random Hot-Blooded moments where I just sound like a Large Ham even for mundane sentences and move at high speed in my house. But, in times of crisis, I usually am cool-headed ‘cause being Hot-Blooded stops me from thinking straight for some reason. I simply solve complex problems like exams and technical problems more easily…which is why, if I get good at game development, you should hire me to fix bugs. :p

I’m not called LunaticTactician for nothing. I’ve written over 35 Hytale-themed posts, many of which record my tactics and strategies. I used to lead a Minecraft team where I did almost all the strategizing and wrote entire essays. I troll my boxing trainer, Coach G-Force, by preparing for his usual moves beforehand and countering appropriately.

Outside of battle, I'd say I'm good at advertising tactics thanks to me often acting like a Large Ham voice actor combined with my actual business experience. I can extend the skills I've learned from developing my Hytale play style and gang wars series into budget management and planning dates.

I suppose I’m a realist because I don’t delude myself into thinking that “everything’s going to be OK soon”. I just solve my problems head-on, no questions asked.

Stating my roguish side is my way of telling lawful people to stay the firetruck off me. I see soldiers and criminology students among my potential matches, and I don’t need them lecturing me to “follow the law”. Plus, they’ll almost always be on a mission or training anyway so RIP quality time.

Honesty and seeing one’s flaws are my number-one traits…considering my experiences with my dad, younger brother, and paternal grandma who are all…arrogant hotheads with occasional roguish motivations.

As much as I prepare for Drill Sergeant Nasties like Gordon Ramsay and understand their importance in any workplace, family, or army, I don’t like having them as friends, especially romantic partners. Like, dude, I like to learn slow and steady and it’s not like almost everything I do has to be treated like a battlefield! I suppose I adhere more to the traditional side of kindness…minus the gift-giving.

As for intelligence, I explained it in “What I Look For in a Girl”, but in short, I like someone whose intelligence is roughly similar to mine so that we can relate to each other’s conversation topics without her being either a nagging professor or a terrible personal finance manager.

(I removed the modesty part from my description to use character spaces for more important stuff)

Non-modest (i.e. Stripperiffic) outfits give me the impression of a tryhard. I get that not all girls with predominantly Stripperiffic profiles are bad, but modest outfits give me the impression of someone who is honest with herself. I’m okay, however, with only one Stripperiffic photo that’s not the main photo, not in a sexually provocative pose, and is balanced out with more modest outfits in other photos.

(Okay, maybe the jacket and sword look I’m trying too hard to look like a main protagonist, but I have the lame argument of staying true to my gamer personality. At least it’s better than showing a shirtless photo of myself, and I quite frankly don’t like seeing shirtless real men. Animated shirtless men are fine.)

Well, that was long, but cut me some slack. Moving on…

A Review on Modern Filipino Culture...from Mostly Anecdotal Evidence

Why do I talk about Filipino teen culture? Because I want a girl who I can physically meet after the pandemic (I set to match with girls within 5 miles of me ‘cause my parents don’t like driving long distances). Talking online can, over time, feel more like talking to a robot than a real person, which is why I don’t like dating anyone who either works abroad or is not a Filipino because, once the girl has to move back to work or home, RIP quality time.

Also, the maximum distance I can set is 240 miles, and even with that setting, I have never gotten anyone who is obviously a foreigner.

The population of the Philippines is more than 109 million. According to Hootsuite and We Are Social, 73 million are active social media users. That’s an absolute boatload.

Judging from my peeks into random strangers’ Facebook sessions, they use Facebook predominantly for chatting with friends. Their News Feeds are filled mostly with memes, selfies, and life reactions from their friends.

Filipinos are a very social race. We believe in the concepts of pakikisama and bayanihan. I don’t remember what they translate to, but my wild guesses are bonding and unity, respectively. Before the pandemic, it was common for Filipino households to have drinking parties in their front yards or blast some karaoke. Family matters are Serious Business—many of my store’s customers get our services to serve their faraway loved ones. And, of course, we chat a LOT. Text messaging and calling are all over the place.

Unfortunately, some Filipinos are also lazy as heck. Some Filipinos who are both lazy and religious leave it to divine intervention to solve their mundane problems without actually doing their part (a religious variant of bahala na). My mom knows one particular junk shop worker who takes weeks to respond to our requests for no justifiable reason…and he even ran for barangay chairman. (A barangay is kinda like a village.)

Along with that laziness comes pooptastic grammar and spelling. Sure, I can understand them since I’ve played competitive games with Filipino gamers, but seeing bad writing in dating profiles makes me cringe. I guess it’s just me treating romance as Serious Business—most people I see are only looking for "chatting", "friendship", or "something casual". (What the heck does "something casual" mean in this case?)

I sincerely hope the trash grammar and spelling are mostly limited to non-formal situations. If I find out that their formal writing in school and/or work is just as bad, I’m gonna bang my head on my punching bag. For crying out loud, some of the girls I see in Dating are either in college or working.

Judging from how I see college students, both from the University of the Philippines (UP) where I study and the smaller and less familiar universities where most of the girls study, have mostly good grammar and spelling in their school work, this might either strengthen my point that they don’t treat dating as Serious Business or subvert my theory because they’re intentionally using bad grammar and spelling as well as text lingo to appeal to boys who are just as casually oriented as they are. Either way, I think there’s hope for the high school students whose essays I saw were overly simplistic or incomprehensible trash.

The other reason why I maintained my usual good grammar and nerdy word choice is I think it will repel the less intelligent girls who’ll just faint over the “nosebleed”. If I go out of character, you bet that’ll also be Serious Business—I put “intentional bad grammar” when I want to express boredom, disappointment, sadness, or humor. But hey, at least I’m not talking like Miriel, right? I’d say I talk in a mix of professor, thief, and anime voice actor.

I asked the science teacher who taught me in 8th grade about the essays she gets from her high school students and she replied that they indeed had great grammar and detail. Then again, many of the other students she teaches, including my former classmates in 8th grade, were exceptionally intelligent for their age.

Mobile Legends: Bang Bang, which I think is a clone of League of Legends (Riot Games filed a lawsuit against Moonton), is wildly popular among the youth, considering the mass availability of smart devices and the sheer popularity of the Warcraft III map Defense of the Ancients (DoTA) in the 2000s and early 2010s. The video game name I see in the vast majority of dating profiles that mention gaming is Mobile Legends and boy are these girls proud to say it. MOBAs are pretty much ingrained into Filipino culture.

(I'm kinda happy that my big brother quit DoTA years ago.)

Well then, time to talk about more reasons why most dating profiles I see suck:

If You Want a Date, Git Gud!

This is in no particular order because I suck at making a coherent narrative.

I instantly reject those with either no description or a description that has no valuable personality information (like only gibberish, emojis, contact information, or a greeting). I’m not a psychologist or Sherlock Holmes so I can’t identify someone’s personality from her face alone.

I hate alcohol. No, not ethyl/isopropyl (i.e. rubbing) alcohol or water which I affectionately refer to as “alcohol” to motivate me to drink it. I’m talking about the actual drinkable alcohol that causes drunkenness. Beer, whisky, brandy, vodka, rum, you name it. So when I see someone with at least an “Occasionally” drinking rate, I reject immediately. The word "occasional" is vague—I can drink, say, two whole bottles a day and still call it "occasional". (Actually, I'd rage-quit after a single shot.) And, for crying out loud, about 80% of the profiles I see admit to drinking occasionally. I’m pretty sure your fingers didn’t slip by accident while making your profile. Is this indicative of a cultural obsession with alcohol? I don’t know ‘cause I hate the taste. Maybe they think drinking is sexy. (Thankfully, most profiles say they never smoke. I sure as heck will never let one of these girls drive for me, though.)

Even if I love drinking alcohol as much as I love gaming, I still wouldn't date someone who drinks "occasionally". I'd get super bored once the girl decides she doesn't like drinking after all.

Funny thing is, Ephesians 5:18 NASB says “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the [Holy] Spirit.” Yet these “occasional” drinkers are also Christian. Not so Serious Business after all with your relationship with God, huh?

On a less negative note, though the icon for drinking in Dating is a goblet with a straw, which I associate with alcohol, the text next to it when editing the user's profile is "Drinking". Yes, just "drinking", not specifically "drinking alcohol".

Therefore, it's possible (though I haven't confirmed) that some of the girls who made their profiles took it literally, thinking it also includes drinking harmless drinks like water and fruit juice. It's extremely rare for me to see a girl who explicitly wants a partner who also drinks alcohol.

Side note: I greatly enjoy orange and pineapple juice, as well as iced tea.

Anyway, Christianity (including its denominations) is the dominant religion in the Philippines, so Bible verses are included among the profiles with “profound” quotes in them. I have no problem with most Bible content since I sometimes use the Bible for self-improvement (even though I’m not religious), but I like to support my use of quotes with either how the quotes have helped me in my life or how I plan to use the quotes. My Hytale play style part 3 has an example of me using Machiavelli’s quotes from The Prince to develop a strategy to destroy my enemies. Plainly using a quote without any of the two supportive things I mentioned above gives me the impression of someone who is a tryhard, though not as much as someone who is Stripperiffic.

Y'know, I have some Bible study guides, so I feel like using some of 'em on these Christians to secretly gauge how much they really know about the Bible...

About a more specific type of quote: I see many profiles with quotes about “just being happy”. I get that happiness is a natural human need, but different people derive happiness from different things—some derive it from helping others, while others derive it from mass murder. I get the impression of someone who is hedonistic, selfish, complacent, or, to put it broadly, chaotic neutral from a “just be happy” quote. Again, support the quote with personal experiences or plans. “Have faith in God and you’ll be happy” also works for me. (I think it's obvious at this point that I derive my happiness from video games.)

Speaking of supporting (or, as teachers say, “defending your answer”), when you say you’re something like a nice person, it’s vague on its own, so prove it. Do you give love unconditionally or do you expect something in return? I’d rather give and receive the former in romance (but the latter for everything else ‘cause I’m a greedy mercenary). Do you respect your friends and family? (I know I don’t respect my family and sometimes rage at my friends, which is why I rarely “advertise” myself as a nice guy.) See my profile’s section and my blog posts for proof of my powers and skills.

And then there are the chubby women. Get them off me. Chubbiness is not something to be proud of. Chubbiness is not only ugly—it gives me the impression of laziness or lack of self-control/restraint. If I were in a relationship with a chubby person, I’d give her Training From Hell to get her to lose weight...and possibly turn her into a Lightning Bruiser like me—Mike Tyson and Manny Pacquiao, who are both boxers, are considered Lightning Bruisers by TV Tropes.

(I suppose "chubby" is significantly more common than "fat" or "mataba" (English: fat) because it's associated with babies. "Fat" is considered an insult.)

But maybe I shouldn't be surprised by how many chubby women there are. According to a study by Duante et al. (2019), 30% of the 9,076 Filipinos surveyed were either overweight or obese. Like D&D halflings, Filipinos love food...and parties. Almost all Filipinos, including my family and I, eat their meals alongside rice. Fast food restaurants, including McDonald's, were almost always packed before the pandemic. Home parties often serve a whole roasted pig we call lechon. The majority of profiles that mention a favorite food to eat or cook include adobo, which I think is meat (usually chicken or pork) drenched in soy sauce and cooked in a frying pan. And you bet birthday parties will more often than not have a cake that's big enough to serve multiple people. (I easily get stuffed by cake.)

Speaking of ugliness, there are some who openly admit to being ugly in their profiles…and have the face to show it. I don’t like this victim mentality garbage. (Exhibit A: My paternal grandma.) Problem is, I don’t know about this beauty stuff 'cause I'm blessed with good genetics so, I dunno, just take care of your health and get a good-paying job or something so you can buy beauty products. Not much I can do about ugliness caused by genetics, as far as I know.

Speaking of physical appearance, while I don’t like Stripperiffic girls, you still gotta appeal even just a little bit to the gaze of the gender you’re aiming for. Dress nicely, fix your hair, clean your face, all that good stuff. (I like my hair flat—I think it makes me look more bishōnen, but my mom doesn’t like it. I treat personal hygiene as Serious Business too.) When your body is ready (Nintendo reference intended), pick a nice and bright background to take your selfie in. (I used my Nikon D3400 DSLR camera, put a self-timer on it, and used the flash to take my profile picture in pitch-black darkness, but I’m chill with smartphone shots.)

Problem is, again with the laziness. Some pictures have such horribly dark backgrounds that the viewer can’t properly gauge attractiveness because the cameras auto-setting the ISO to their highest to compensate for the darkness causes grainy photos…which still look dark anyway because some smartphones have weaksauce maximum ISOs. Like, dude, if you don’t have a window or a yard, just bring your quarantine pass, take a photo at the sidewalk in the daytime, and if a cop catches you, tell them that you need the photo for photography class or something. Bring someone who is obviously an adult with you just in case…and I mean obviously an adult because some young adults like me can be mistaken for teens.

Speaking of photos, I hate seeing wacky shots. I get that they're culturally “significant” among the youth (even my lawful good and prim-and-proper big brother does wacky shots), but wacky shots give me the impression of someone who is...overly rebellious. And I find them disgusting, especially if the tongue is stuck out like, say, a D&D ghast. I think some strippers stick their tongues out to supposedly arouse “customers”, for lack of a better word.

To be honest, though, I don’t know how to take “funny” photos. I only know a tiny bit of photography theory and most of the photos I see are intended to look like fine arts, shocking/saddening scenes, or thrilling and adventurous scenes. The only funny picture idea I had was taking a selfie at a garbage dump to mock how youths take selfies spontaneously even if the backgrounds are mundane and there’s no special occasion. My game dev friend and classmate Eya gave me a funny caption for this photo idea: "Just a selfie of me in my natural habitat #trash"

Some don’t show their physical appearances at all, instead maybe using an artwork or a screenshot from a cartoon. Their profiles besides their pictures are actually good because they have proper grammar and spelling and they look honest with their interests, skills, and what they expect from a match, but the lack of a proper picture may indicate a lack of confidence. I mean, I know I’m a skilled problem-solver, but I’m building a Hytale team because teamwork allows people to solve a wider variety of problems faster. Don’t let down our romantic duo because of shyness—sometimes you have no choice but to charge in and join the fray. Or, as I like to say, LEEROY JENKINS! (I’m not sure though if the girl hides her appearance for “privacy” reasons.) Okay, fine, I’ve accepted them anyway so I can get to know them better.

Okay, let’s move on to careers. This wouldn’t be a big deal for me...if only “The Krusty Krab” and “Edi sa puso mo” (English: Eh, well, in your heart) weren’t so prevalent! It’s a cliché that’s not funny anymore! This applies too to those who studied at “Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry”. (Side note: Why work at the Krusty Krab if you studied at Hogwarts? Shouldn’t you work at Diagon Alley or fight Death Eaters or something rather than flipping Krabby Patties? You’d be better off with a culinary course.)

Speaking of clichés, assuming these girls are not simply rolling with what's "trendy", I have a theory that they're unaware of these clichés because after making their profiles, they don't touch Facebook Dating until someone else likes their profiles. Men are traditionally the ones who initiate romance while the women receive it; again like how prehistoric men were hunters and women took care of the children. In Fire Emblem Heroes terms, men are player phase units while women are enemy phase units.

Another theory is the fear of rejection that comes with actively using Dating. It's easy for, say, Girl A to feel rejected when she sent a like to Guy B but hasn't received a reply from Guy B in a long time, or Guy B says the two are not right for each other. When Girl A waits for someone else to like her profile, she doesn't know if she has been rejected by "player phase units"; she might think others simply didn't see her profile among their random list of matches.

Then again, I have Asperger's syndrome so I don't fully understand neurotypical behavior. I'm an edgelord too so I value uniqueness. Also, I've probably rejected hundreds of girls already.

I’m not sure which career I want my potential girlfriend to have, to be honest. At the very least, though, I should pick someone whose career doesn’t interfere with my values, if I interpreted Mark Manson correctly. Soldiers and police officers are out because the lawful buggers may call me out for “poisoning the youth” by being a game developer, plus the Drill Sergeant Nasty potential. Artists like many of my classmates, entrepreneurs like my mom, and scientists like my dad are okay.

In addition to my brother Ivann’s rants about his lazy and stupid classmates, he also says they’re obsessed with K-Pop to the point they know some Korean but are terrible at both English and Filipino. That’s why I think when someone knows Korean, it’s a red flag for me that suggests laziness and Crippling Overspecialization. (I know I play video games too much, but hey, I plan to make a living out of video games! And I write excessively long and complex posts like this hot garbage!) If you really speak Korean, prove it by holding a conversation in Korean with someone who’s fluent in Korean. Same goes for the other “trendy” languages like French and Japanese. (Ivann is getting really good in German to the point I can’t understand what he says, yet he’s still good at both English and Filipino. He knows a little Japanese and Spanish too.)

Speaking of Korea and a little similar to the Krusty Krab situation, many of the profiles say the girls are from “Seoul, Korea” yet are clearly Filipino in appearance, have English, Filipino, or Spanish names (or katakana-rendered names that translate to said English, Filipino, or Spanish names), and don’t speak straight Korean (minus well-known words/phrases like “안녕하세요 annyeonghaseyo”), if not zero Korean.

It’s similar to being talked to about Pokémon and only responding with Pikachu, Charizard, Ash Ketchum, and/or Pokémon GO.

You do know there are other places in South Korea besides Seoul, right? Just like Japan isn’t just Tokyo, France isn’t just Paris, and the United States of America aren’t just California and New York?

This, however, does not mean I’m encouraging others to make their lies more convincing. Dishonesty in relationships can lead to disastrous misunderstandings.

(Although I can cook up a convincing lie, I won’t tell you how I’d do it, and I sure as heck won’t actually publish such a lie...)

Why am I seeing boys in my recommendations despite me specifically stating I only want girls? I know it’s not a glitch, but you guys are sick in a bad way. Why are you pretending to be women? I’d forgive you if your finger slipped, but it’s hard for me to believe if you don’t change your gender upon being reminded…

Speaking of boys, I experimented by changing my recommendations from girls to boys just to compare the differences in style of the profiles. Turns out, they suffer from many of the same mistakes and pitfalls minus the chubbiness. I admit I don’t like the typical appearances of male Filipinos since they mostly look to me like construction workers with poor grooming (and probably a lack of testosterone). The ones that don’t look like they’re trying too hard to look like anime characters or K-Pop boyband members…and failing miserably. Well, at least there are plenty of fish to catch for both boys and girls ‘cause I think standards for romantic partners are low among the Filipino youth—I regularly saw lovey-dovey young couples in public before the pandemic. Ivann had several classmates that rushed their relationships. In ALS, one of the faculty said that “this is not a place to get a boyfriend or girlfriend.” Oh well, I have kind of an “unfair” advantage with my natural bishōnen appearance and my Child Prodigy intelligence.

I'll say one good thing about some of the boys though: They're so confident, they're not afraid to be shirtless. Fat men seem a lot more rare than fat women, as far as I know. These men have some well-toned bodies. One good thing I like about Filipino culture is the love for basketball—barangays often had regularly packed street courts before the pandemic. 

Speaking of low relationship standards, the few profiles that do state their standards usually mention “someone nice to talk to” or “looking for a Mobile Legends teammate”. Buddy, there’s more to relationships, both friendly and romantic, than just a smooth talker or skilled gamer. I have rogue training so I know what it’s like to pretend to be someone I’m not. Honesty is key. Plus, some gamers are both skilled and unsportsmanlike, as with many of the Minecraft players I encountered as a server moderator. I wouldn’t dare have such a G.I.F.T. case as a friend, let alone a girlfriend.

I’ve also never seen any sign of desiring intelligence on Facebook Dating, so I might have to rethink the truthfulness of the Nerds Are Sexy trope… But that gets me thinking bad again. If the males I see on Facebook Dating and hear from Ivann are as stupid as I think, then these girls are in big trouble. Sure, they might be able to relate to each other if both know whatever metagame Mobile Legends has—I sure as heck would relate with someone who is knowledgeable about Kweebec lore. But when the time to prepare for a big and super serious date comes, good luck if at least one of you thinks too much about how to make it grandiose and not enough about how to manage the time or budget. (I sure as heck messed up my fake date on my 17th birthday—I practically forced my former crush to do something she did not value: playing video games.) And God forbid one of you has to ask the other for homework help.

Suddenly, I feel like going on a tactical meeting with a potential girlfriend... No, I promise it has nothing to do with Hytale, which is almost always the topic of discussion I start with BoltOLightnin and YoSquid.

Edit: I just found out what "sapiosexual" means, but profiles mentioning sapiosexuality are still rare. However, simply liking intelligence isn't enough. I need intelligence and good values.

Don’t just say you’re a “simple person”. Say something unique about yourself. Most of us are average Joes anyway. As Bulbasaur from MandJTV’s Pokémon Talk said to Squirtle when Squirtle was making his profile, “You like to have fun? So does everyone else on the planet! You might as well change that to ‘I have eyes.’” I mean, I’m a tactician, so that counts, right?

I’m not sure what to say about saying “I’m a flawed person.” On the one hand, it’s something a Captain Obvious would say and is a sign of self-loathing that hardly tells the viewer any useful information, but on the other hand, being honest with oneself and admitting that one is flawed is a sign of vulnerability.

I didn’t show off my big flaws because…okay, let’s get it out of the way: they’re embarrassing. I don’t want to repel girls right off the bat by acting like I have victim mentality. Women like strong and confident men. I prefer to reveal my flaws upon making a match and having both of us get to know one another in our first conversation. I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or not, but screw it, LEEROY JENKINS!

One could argue that being roguish is a flaw, though because of my chaotic neutral alignment, I consider it a huge asset. Even though I’m told not to run, I run anyway because it helps me get my job done faster while burning off my excess energy, allowing me to get back to whatever I was doing earlier while honing my footwork for future runs. I’m often good at pretending to be someone else so I don’t reveal things that might harm my family’s security.

But speaking of flaws, I don't like how the vast majority of profiles that mention the flaws that the girls don't want have some variation of "cheater", "flaker", "pervert", or "Jerkass". I'd frankly be more surprised to see someone who likes at least one of those traits.

I prefer to mention flaws that...often slip past a lot of people's minds. There are people like Gordon Ramsay who use their Hair-Trigger Tempers for good, though I dislike Hair-Trigger Tempers nonetheless. I simply don't learn well around such a person unless I'm in the police or military.

Minor Complaints

These are things in Dating profiles that I dislike but have minimal impact on whether or not I match with someone.

I'm glad they're rare, but so far, I've seen three profiles that show dislike of President Rodrigo Duterte or those that support him. Note that disliking a politician does not necessarily mean one is a bad person—I mean, my support from him has neutralized due to some...questionable decisions he made like choosing to keep a health department secretary who is withholding personal protective equipment (PPE) deliveries. But more often than not, I find that Duterte haters are also either leftists or "Dilawan" (literally "of the Yellows"; i.e. a member or supporter of the Liberal Party whose color symbol is yellow).

I think leftists and the Dilawan more often than not have no idea what they're raging about. There's nothing in the Anti-Terrorism Bill that suggests punishing critics of the government. Any law, including the Anti-Terrorism Bill (if it becomes a law), can be abused. Also, I believe Martin Luther King's statement of judging by character and not skin color, so chill the firetruck out about racism and focus on more important tasks...like self-improvement. :p

While I openly dislike the left and the Liberal Party, I don't attempt to silence those who support those two groups. I'm willing to make friends with them (heck, I have one leftist friend), but I sure as heck don't want to have one as a girlfriend because of the conflict of values. In other words, you're free to express political views on Facebook Dating—I just don't wanna have someone who conflicts with my values as a girlfriend.

Funny thing is, the vast majority of Filipinos support Duterte, yet I have never seen a profile that shows open dislike towards the Dilawan or the left.

Facebook Dating is not the right place to advertise your business, buddy. You know how ads, especially the ones on YouTube that interrupt videos, are annoying to many people that view them? That's what I think your advertising profiles look like.

Make a Facebook Page or something if you wanna advertise. Facebook Pages are specifically built for advertising. Or maybe just advertise on your own account like I lazily do 'cause I suck at Facebook Pages.

(Okay, I would advertise my blog to a newly-matched girl, though I'd do it in a coherent way and I'd ask permission. For example, "You seem very interested in Hytale. Mind if I share with you how I plan to play the game when it comes out? I'm interested to know how you want to play as well.")

One of the most answered questions I see is "The four emoji that best describe my personality are..." (For this part, I'll use Discord emoji names.)

More often than not, the answers contain at least one "joyful" or "loving" emoji like :rofl:, :joy:, or :heart_eyes: plus at least one "sad" or "mildly angry" emoji like :cry: or :unamused:. This implies a Mood-Swinger, which I think is common in female teens and young adults.

I'm not a fan of Mood-Swingers because of their, well, unpredictable moods, especially if they're not communicative about why their moods changed seemingly out of nowhere. Or maybe it's just me being mostly stuck in a state of neutrality and only changing my mood gradually for the most part...even when I was a little child and teenager. Maybe I need to work on my ability to deal with Mood-Swingers...

I answered the question...in what I think is an edgy way. I put :thinking:, :boxing_glove:, :video_game:, and :cloud_tornado:. The thinking emoji represents my abundant curiosity and...overpowering intelligence. The middle two are mostly self-explanatory, but other than that, boxing and video games are strong parts of my personality, not merely spare-time activities. The tornado represents my wind affinity—I'm swift and silent as a breeze and I can blow off (not literally) foes' held items through sheer power.

Another question is "My favorite topic of conversation is..." Mine is a plain, simple, and blatant "Hytale".

Many profiles state maybe 3 or more topics, which is unsurprising since, unlike Asperger's syndrome which is laser-focused on a few interests, typical people have a broad range of interests which I think vary in knowledge and intensity, though rarely reaching the super-enthusiastic level.

Then there's the answer "anything you like". This is where things get dangerous. Will you really chat about anything the other person likes if, say, you're a pacifist and the other is someone who believes that violence is sometimes the only solution? Okay, that's Up to Eleven. If you are a staunch non-gamer, how well will you relate with someone whose identity is largely formed by gaming? Are you willing to sacrifice much of your time and sanity just to be relatable with someone who's interested in something you're not and isn't a valuable life or career skill? Please don't.

Same thing goes with "The best thing I can cook is..." I wanna challenge these fools to cook something I like but is difficult. (I'll pay for the ingredients and search the recipe 'cause I'm not a total sadist. lololol)

I don't like filters. They also give me an impression of pretentiousness. This goes double for males.

(Okay, my picture has artificial red eyes when looked at from up close, but those are because I'm trying to be edgy. I lost the original image file. If I get a match, I'll tell her that I actually have brown eyes.)

I'm seeing a boatload of profiles that say they speak Thai, even though I've never seen or heard any Filipinos writing or speaking Thai, respectively, in real life. I get that both "Tagalog" and "Thai" start with T so there's a possibility that their fingers slipped, but some supposedly speak both Tagalog and Thai. Maybe they're just plain lazy and in a hurry.

Edit: I've seen one profile that mentions a liking to Thai movies.

Dude, why so much complaining?

Okay, yes, I’m a Manchild. Just like the Manchild in CollegeHumor’s “Adulthood vs. Childhood”, I think video game art books look great on my coffee table (in particular, I want the Edge magazine issue with Hytale in it), took martial arts classes, and make ill-advised purchases like Nerf blasters. (For breakfast, though, I prefer instant noodles, hash browns, and pan de sal (salt bread). I’ve never had a milkshake.)

CollegeHumor aside, I complain a lot about bad situations in everyday life, people’s personalities, video games, and politics. As some readers have pointed out, I vent out strong emotions in my blog posts, which I think is typical of teenagers.

Okay, back to romance. So much digressing, huh?

Now, I admit there’s no such thing as a truly perfect romantic partner. All human beings, even the really good ones, have flaws, and we have to acknowledge them and remove/change them if possible.

There are slightly bad flaws and there are extremely dangerous flaws. Obviously, “extremely dangerous” is out of the window for a relationship of any friendly or romantic level (unless you’re a supervillain lololol). The slightly bad flaws can be harmful to oneself or others, albeit to a small extent and can be accepted and mitigated fairly easily.

Because of my high standards for relationships of any kind, especially the romantic kind, the flaws that others would consider “bad but acceptable” are ones I would consider a massive danger zone. Why am I extremely serious about honesty? Because I don’t enjoy this “playing hard-to-get” garbage, among other personal life stories that are too sensitive to be written here. Why the seriousness about laziness? Because if one side is lazy, the relationship feels unbalanced and more like a butler-and-master relationship. And, as good as I am at being a butler, I don't enjoy it.

And I don’t want to screw up like I did with my former crush. As much as I don’t like how super busy she randomly is as a Go-Getter Girl, how she prefers texting over calling, and how she’s not a gamer (like many other girls I meet), it was my fault for chasing her despite knowing all those traits in the first place.

Side Notes

• I’ve yet to attempt a romance with a girl who is roughly my age and enthusiastic about Hytale. If I do get one, I’d finally be able to unleash the overwhelming knowledge I’ve stored in my brain like ill-advised purchases.
  Unfortunately, mentioning Minecraft gives many Filipinos I meet such bare-bones responses as “You build stuff?” to which I respond with combat-related topics that boggle their minds or simply avert their interest. It’s about as bad as me saying I like Pokémon then being responded to with “Is Pikachu your favorite Pokémon?” before they get completely stumped when I mention Gallade. The conversation almost always switches to MOBAs regardless of whether or not the other person is a gamer—in the case of game development conversations, I get asked, “Will you make the next Mobile Legends?” Short answer: Never.
• Bonus points if my romantic partner knows martial arts. I’m getting bored of punching nothing but thin air and inanimate objects...and she won’t be The Load when I fight bad guys in real life.
• Interestingly, when I pick a waifu in media like Fire Emblem that has a lot of Action Girls, I only pick an Action Girl. In worlds where enemies are all over the place, I can't afford to have my waifu take a potshot from a mook.
• Living alone in at least an upper-middle-class house and having a lucrative job are bonus traits. I don’t wanna deal with the possibility of my romantic partner moving out of the city, or even worse, out of the country to seek a better life. A lot of relationships end this way, including Domics’s relationship with “Erin Kim”. I’m not prepared to spend money just to move out and live near my girlfriend again. Wolfychu is crazy lucky to have had the money to move from Europe to Australia to live permanently with her boyfriend Jordan Sweeto.
• Don't tell my parents, but I'm learning Japanese so I can use it as an "in your face" to morons who claim to know Japanese. What my parents know is that I'm a fan of Yandere Simulator.
• Supposedly some of the girls' profiles say they're Wattpad writers, and a handful provided links to their Wattpad works. I forgot to copy them (dang it), but if I run into another link, I'll read the Wattpad piece for some juicy, juicy intel... Mwahahahaha!
• I haven't run into any Wattpad links in months, but I have run into YouTube channels. All of them so far were created at most 2 months ago with only 2 to 8 videos. Frankly, it's hard for me to sympathize with their beginner skills because I'm an Insufferable Genius, but their intros are way too long--20 to 30 seconds of overly simple animation that can be generally broken down to "Channel name. Lazy picture(s) and background. Like, comment, subscribe, and hit that notification bell!"
  If I did a YouTube intro animation, it'd have a white background, some stylized text saying "LUNATICTACTICIAN" to the left, and a cartoon drawing of my Author Avatar holding a spear on the right. He would raise his spear then strike the ground with it for 2 seconds before cutting to the rest of the video.
  Anyway, I commented on some of the videos with...follow-up questions and nerdy advice where I bragged I've been blogging for 2 years. Condescending, I know, but screw it, LEEROY JENKINS!