Edit: It's 2 courses that have group work, not 3. I reconfirmed it recently.
This trimester, I enrolled in 4 courses--2 of which have group work.
One course has 5 members, while one has 10.
Before I talk about the impending doom to my "introvert-ism" this trimester, I want to talk about last trimester:
I had a group project for just one course where we basically "advertise" UPOU and its distance learning features to the general public using a Microsoft PowerPoint presentation. The group had a democratic "follow-the-leader" system where the leader does most of the work, including research and writing, while the rest (including I) propose, vote on, and add/change visual styles like font styles and colors.
While I'm thankful for the lazy and easy job I was given by the leader (but I felt guilty because the leader gave herself about 90% of the workload when it should have been about 40%), all of my ideas, besides the ones proposed by others that I blindly voted yes to, were rejected, either immediately or after voting.
As a semi-perfectionist and semi-loner, I HATED that feeling, and, as a result, developed a fear of group work.
(Actually, even in Minecraft, I don't work well with groups of 3 or more. I usually avoid talking unless it's necessary or I'm angry, and I blindly follow orders. When I played the Bytesize modpack with player4709 and Mr. Nonlinear, I let the two of them enjoy casually talking to each other as if I didn't exist, and I just gathered the supplies player4709 needed. I had no idea what "grout" does.)
I unnecessarily vented my frustration to the group, and while their replies were cool-headed, I don't know what their true feelings are.
Now that I have 2 courses with group work, I smell even more social and mental anxiety coming my way.
First, I haven't met up with any of my groupmates online because they haven't replied to my messages. If I get to know them (even if it only means knowing they watch anime and listen to K-Pop), I could have an idea on what to expect on their leadership and workmanship styles.
Edit: I've added 2 of them as temporary Facebook friends so far.
Second, many group works in UPOU are graded by both groupmates and the professors. (The one I had last trimester isn't.) This means I have to live up to the standards of the socially cultured young adults (almost every well-known UPOU student is very smart, both mentally and socially) and the standards of academe. In other words, it has to be both "dope" and "educational".
Third, I am VERY lazy to lead or propose original ideas, especially those related to school work. I only like leading or proposing ideas if I am confident in the amount of knowledge that I have. (Counter-arguments of "ordinary people leading extraordinarily" don't count.)
Fourth and most importantly, I work better either alone or as a pair. If I work alone, I am my own boss (besides the professors), and I can calmly work at my own, undisturbed, consistent pace.
As for working as a pair, me and the partner can give each other 100% attention while working. This not only means fewer social rules to follow (no interruption or sharing friends, for example), but it's also easier to manage one person's work than multiple people. In Minecraft, I always get work done quickly when paired up thanks to undivided attention and motivated cooperation. (This semi-paragraph is a draft)
(I admit that working as a pair can be technically considered a "group", but for the purposes of this post, a "group" is a gathering of 3 or more people.)
Thankfully, not all group work in UPOU has to be done strictly as a group--some can be done individually under certain circumstances.
Last trimester, I actually got away from doing some group work because, in one course, I joined an empty group, and in another, my groupmate couldn't be contacted. In both cases, I was excused by the professors. Hooray for being my own boss!
However, I am stuck with mandatory group work this time.
Whatever, it's not like the faculty will care because "group work will teach cooperation skills which can carry over to work" and all that values-formation talk.
I'm an evil semi-loner with Asperger's syndrome, dang it! I can learn how to collaborate at my own pace! Multiplayer games is a good start, and when Hytale comes out, I'll be a better leader than ever before!
Then again, this is about group work in school where skills can carry over to work, so I'll just start small by having deep conversations about science with my "friends".
(Not everybody likes sports or video games, unfortunately, so I'll only use those on specific situations or as a last resort.)
But first things first: I HAVE TO STUDY TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE AND COLLABORATE WITH MY GROUPMATES!
TL;DR summary: Because of my ideas being rejected last trimester, I've developed a fear of group work. Now that I have 2 courses with mandatory group work, I'm extra terrified because my groupmates haven't replied to my messages, there's a possibility that groupmates will also grade my work, I am lazy, and I work better alone or paired up.
P.S. Jaiden Animations's "My Horrible Nightmare Group Project" (she works MUCH harder but has worse groupmates than me): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bQWxtoCav4
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